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General Discussion => The New Joe Montgomery Birther Pit => Topic started by: 420seriouscat69 on February 17, 2016, 09:49:16 AM

Title: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 17, 2016, 09:49:16 AM
Hmmmmm

@poetwarrior

http://www.sunnyskyz.com/good-news/665/1500-Year-Old-Bible-Found-In-Turkey-Is-Stirring-Up-Controversy-About-Christianity#MtpXBmi0eMTUMBjW.01

Thoughts?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CHONGS on February 17, 2016, 09:50:52 AM
why don't you offer your thoughts?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 17, 2016, 09:56:56 AM
Because I'm not as vocal about religion as many others are on this board, chings.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: ednksu on February 17, 2016, 09:57:46 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2105714/Secret-14million-Bible-Jesus-predicts-coming-Prophet-Muhammad-unearthed-Turkey.html
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 17, 2016, 10:00:57 AM
Post the article(actual book scans), Turkey!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 17, 2016, 10:32:20 AM
Meh
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 17, 2016, 11:03:00 AM
It's hilarious this is actually news
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 17, 2016, 11:07:48 AM
Anyone who has even remotely studied the origins of the Bible knows the scriptures were hand picked. How could this be controversial? It's not like early Christians went all Joseph Smith and just found the New Testament buried in their back yards.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 17, 2016, 11:15:03 AM
Anyone who has even remotely studied the origins of the Bible knows the scriptures were hand picked. How could this be controversial? It's not like early Christians went all Joseph Smith and just found the New Testament buried in their back yards.

I think a lot of christians don't know they left out a bunch of gospels
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 17, 2016, 11:23:50 AM
"Left out" is a generous term. If I decided to write a new chapter for a book on American history just based on my beliefs but the editors decide not to include it, I'm not sure I'd say it was left out.

I think most Christians view these gospels as fan fiction (though more accurately, Gnostic theology).
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 17, 2016, 11:24:38 AM
See what I mean
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cire on February 17, 2016, 11:32:46 AM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 17, 2016, 12:09:43 PM
Absolutely no thoughts.

For those curious, if I knew nothing about the origin of the Bible, I would still know that everything it says about me and life has turned out to be true, so I have no choice but to believe it.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 'taterblast on February 17, 2016, 12:13:43 PM
For those curious, if I knew nothing about the origin of the Bible, I would still know that everything it says about me and life has turned out to be true, so I have no choice but to believe it.

what about the shellfish thing?

Quote
Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be regarded as unclean by you.

you telling me you hate shrimp and lobster?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 17, 2016, 12:26:39 PM
So can you turn water to wine IRL?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 17, 2016, 12:35:31 PM


Quote
Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be regarded as unclean by you.

you telling me you hate shrimp and lobster?

Laws for Jews.

Quote
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble.

Laws for Christians.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cartierfor3 on February 17, 2016, 09:29:36 PM
The fact that ancient texts are unearthed with differing accounts of who Jesus was is not really surprising or noteworthy at this point. There are many MANY historical texts and accounts from that time. And is it surprising that those who compiled the bible left books out that say Jesus wasn't the son of God, but merely a man, were left out? The Christians who cannonized the bible believed Jesus was God and worship him as such, so yeah a book that says he was just a prophet is not going to make the cut of what they define as holy scripture.

These books that show up shouldn't be viewed as some "Oh No! This disproves the gospel! The book of Luke is full of baloney!" but more like "Looks like people have disagreed on who Jesus is for thousands of years. Interesting to see how certain scholars and historians took the time to document those ideas."
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: michigancat on February 17, 2016, 09:42:08 PM
I just can't trust anything in a book that old. I mean, English dictionaries didn't even really exist until like 1600 years after Christ. Inevitably, it's basically fiction no matter what's included.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cartierfor3 on February 17, 2016, 09:43:47 PM
English is relatively young compared to Hebrew or Greek michigancat.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: michigancat on February 17, 2016, 09:48:25 PM
English is relatively young compared to Hebrew or Greek michigancat.
I know and early English was TERRIBLE. Can't even imagine how bad Aramic was two thousand years ago.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 17, 2016, 09:50:53 PM
See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cire on February 18, 2016, 05:53:49 AM
High probability it's a fake too


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Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 8manpick on February 18, 2016, 06:27:54 AM

High probability it's a fake too


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The bible?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 18, 2016, 07:12:18 AM

See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.

Being religious or non-religious shouldn't automatically make you a good or bad person.  It's who YOU are as a person, not some affiliation with or without a religion.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: slobber on February 18, 2016, 07:38:13 AM


See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.

Being religious or non-religious shouldn't automatically make you a good or bad person.  It's who YOU are as a person, not some affiliation with or without a religion.
agree!
This is why I don't make fun of people's beliefs very often. Except racists, eff them.


Gonna win 'em all! (using Tapatalk)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cire on February 18, 2016, 08:26:36 AM


High probability it's a fake too


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The bible?

The turkey book


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Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CHONGS on February 18, 2016, 08:32:01 AM
See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.
lol he's not a biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 18, 2016, 08:33:33 AM

See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.

Being religious or non-religious shouldn't automatically make you a good or bad person.  It's who YOU are as a person, not some affiliation with or without a religion.
I'm sorry you got offended by this, but he is a good person. With or without his beliefs.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 18, 2016, 08:34:09 AM
See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.
lol he's not a biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination
He probably knows more about the bible than 90% of the ppl on this board. Maybe more.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CHONGS on February 18, 2016, 08:35:56 AM
See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.
lol he's not a biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination
He probably knows more about the bible than 90% of the ppl on this board. Maybe more.
not saying much

but anywho I am not offended in the least, just wondered if you had a point or a thought regarding your OP
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 18, 2016, 08:37:07 AM
Well, it's the pit, so I thought it was of interest that some random bible that's different than the rest, was dug up.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CHONGS on February 18, 2016, 08:38:35 AM
why did you think it was interesting?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: OK_Cat on February 18, 2016, 08:40:19 AM
Fanning has opinions but is too afraid to post them
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 18, 2016, 08:42:28 AM
why did you think it was interesting?
Why do you think it's out of bounds? Other than disliking me as a poster?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CHONGS on February 18, 2016, 08:46:11 AM
why did you think it was interesting?
Why do you think it's out of bounds? Other than disliking me as a poster?
its not out of bounds, basically nothing is out of bounds in the pit
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 18, 2016, 08:46:19 AM


See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.

Being religious or non-religious shouldn't automatically make you a good or bad person.  It's who YOU are as a person, not some affiliation with or without a religion.
I'm sorry you got offended by this, but he is a good person. With or without his beliefs.

I know he is, but the assumption that just because he is religious isn't universal. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 18, 2016, 09:05:55 AM
No one here thinks that tbt, you can have your crusade elsewhere
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 18, 2016, 09:11:34 AM
:lol: ok
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on February 18, 2016, 09:25:15 AM
One of my son's first 20ish or so words was "Bible."  We have one (gifted to him) on his night stand in his room, just sits on the table top.  He likes the gold edges of the pages and loves to flip through the pages over and over again.  Surprisingly hasn't torn any pages yet.  Yet.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: MakeItRain on February 18, 2016, 09:31:53 AM
Noah's Arc (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2-b.examiner.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fimage_content_width%2Fhash%2Fff%2F23%2Fff23fd459952e4b6b481a0bbd85b9180.jpg%3Fitok%3D3vmlxbqO&hash=f3b16597139d6bbec60110835d6d33d66cd2134c)

Jonah and the Whale (https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQiHkVv2xZdRIyr-w2snxi3OGIXk2_7t8zOMbJQryNY0LgQpUc)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Institutional Control on February 18, 2016, 02:48:27 PM


See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.

Being religious or non-religious shouldn't automatically make you a good or bad person.  It's who YOU are as a person, not some affiliation with or without a religion.
agree!
This is why I don't make fun of people's beliefs very often. Except racists, eff them.


Gonna win 'em all! (using Tapatalk)

Living in NC, making fun of racists must be a full time job.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 18, 2016, 02:54:01 PM
A lot of biblical scholars are atheists. Not sure about the quality of their character tho.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Institutional Control on February 18, 2016, 02:56:50 PM
A lot of biblical scholars are atheists. Not sure about the quality of their character tho.


Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: slobber on February 18, 2016, 03:10:42 PM



See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.

Being religious or non-religious shouldn't automatically make you a good or bad person.  It's who YOU are as a person, not some affiliation with or without a religion.
agree!
This is why I don't make fun of people's beliefs very often. Except racists, eff them.


Gonna win 'em all! (using Tapatalk)

Living in NC, making fun of racists must be a full time job.
I live in the triangle, major melting pot. Rural areas of NC are very anti growth, racist P'sOS.


Gonna win 'em all! (using Tapatalk)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 18, 2016, 03:27:18 PM

A lot of biblical scholars are atheists. Not sure about the quality of their character tho.


Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

If the chicken is God and the egg is scripture written by humans then I would have to say chicken. If the chicken is Jews or Christians then I would still say chicken. Really no matter how you analogize it the Bible would come after.

My point is that some folks are just really interested in the Bible as an ancient text and important piece of literature, even if they don't believe at all in the truth of it.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Institutional Control on February 18, 2016, 04:31:04 PM
hmm...

I meant, did becoming Biblical scholars make them become atheists or did being atheist make them want to be Biblical scholars?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 18, 2016, 05:00:37 PM
hmm...

I meant, did becoming Biblical scholars make them become atheists or did being atheist make them want to be Biblical scholars?

Normal people got it
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cartierfor3 on February 18, 2016, 05:04:15 PM
hmm...

I meant, did becoming Biblical scholars make them become atheists or did being atheist make them want to be Biblical scholars?

I think there have been people who started out as skeptics and became believers after studying the bible, and vice versa.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on February 19, 2016, 07:41:50 PM
I like to mock NIV version'ers. ok newb. whatever you say.  :lol:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 20, 2016, 04:05:10 PM
Being religious or non-religious shouldn't automatically make you a good or bad person.  It's who YOU are as a person, not some affiliation with or without a religion.

I give everything I have to those in need. I make a conscious effort to treat everyone as if they are a member of my family. I give all of my time to those who need it. I smile at others and care about their feelings. I have one desire and it is to make the world better.
But this one time I just really wanted to eat the organs of a 13 year old, so I did.

Good to go?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: MakeItRain on February 20, 2016, 04:14:40 PM
That is nightmarishly stupid.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 20, 2016, 04:36:47 PM
Would love to destroy you in an argument, but you haven't made one.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: MakeItRain on February 20, 2016, 08:11:11 PM
Try your example again, only this time make your cannibal a more realistic person, you know where most people actually fall; make it real and less convenient for you to hide behind.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 21, 2016, 04:32:11 PM
My scenario is as possible as any other. By what means or math are we to assign good and bad? Is it simply a tally of good things vs. bad things? Or is the quality of good and bad considered?

I want to know how THE BIG TRAIN would categorize my "cannibal". Because they seem like a pretty good person to me. Right, man?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 21, 2016, 04:43:33 PM
My scenario is as possible as any other. By what means or math are we to assign good and bad? Is it simply a tally of good things vs. bad things? Or is the quality of good and bad considered?

I want to know how THE BIG TRAIN would categorize my "cannibal". Because they seem like a pretty good person to me. Right, man?


Society judges what is good and bad, and depending on what society you are in it's different.  There is no set standard, but if that person was a born again christian after they ate organs, would they be forgiven?  You're attempting to make them a bad person based on a single decision, when in christianity you can make a life's worth of bad decisions and be forgiven.

If you are not religious and don't feel you can be judged by a higher power, you determine if you are a good person or not.  If you have someone you care about they can judge you, but if you are eating somebody elses organs, do you really care?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Kat Kid on February 21, 2016, 05:06:40 PM
Would love to destroy you in an argument, but you haven't made one.

depending upon how successful they were in their efforts of helping others, lots of philosophies would recognize that they had a net positive effect.

Are humans the sum of their efforts?  Are all sins equal?  Does it matter that this is a 13 year old boy and not a 90 year old woman or a baby?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 8manpick on February 21, 2016, 05:43:12 PM
Pretty sure as long as you go to confession, you are g2g
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 21, 2016, 08:01:13 PM
For those who don't know who I am, I already know the answer to this.

It is impossible and stupid to think that good can be assigned to any person based on their merit. There isn't a reasonable equation to make it work. Whether my cannibal or any other, every person will commit enough "bad" that no "good" they do can cover it enough to make them "good" again. We're all "bad" and if we're honest we know it's true.

That is where Christianity distinguishes itself by fully relying on another, Jesus, who through a perfect, sinless life, and a sacrifice, can wipe the "bad" from any person based on a repentance and reliance on Him. A gift of grace, through no merit of our own. We don't deserve it and we don't earn it, only can accept it.

It simply can't make sense any other way. Ya know?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 21, 2016, 08:07:13 PM
Not so sure I agree with your police work there Lou
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: bucket on February 21, 2016, 08:14:15 PM
For those who don't know who I am, I already know the answer to this.

It is impossible and stupid to think that good can be assigned to any person based on their merit. There isn't a reasonable equation to make it work. Whether my cannibal or any other, every person will commit enough "bad" that no "good" they do can cover it enough to make them "good" again. We're all "bad" and if we're honest we know it's true.

That is where Christianity distinguishes itself by fully relying on another, Jesus, who through a perfect, sinless life, and a sacrifice, can wipe the "bad" from any person based on a repentance and reliance on Him. A gift of grace, through no merit of our own. We don't deserve it and we don't earn it, only can accept it.

It simply can't make sense any other way. Ya know?

The perfect cop out. Jesus was perfect so I can be a POS and it's ok? Consider me a Christian.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: slobber on February 21, 2016, 08:21:14 PM
Welcome, bucket.


Gonna win 'em all! (using Tapatalk)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 22, 2016, 08:38:40 AM
What does the bible say about cannibalism? Is it as bad as pork?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: fun muffin on February 22, 2016, 09:18:16 AM
For those who don't know who I am, I already know the answer to this.

It is impossible and stupid to think that good can be assigned to any person based on their merit. There isn't a reasonable equation to make it work. Whether my cannibal or any other, every person will commit enough "bad" that no "good" they do can cover it enough to make them "good" again. We're all "bad" and if we're honest we know it's true.

That is where Christianity distinguishes itself by fully relying on another, Jesus, who through a perfect, sinless life, and a sacrifice, can wipe the "bad" from any person based on a repentance and reliance on Him. A gift of grace, through no merit of our own. We don't deserve it and we don't earn it, only can accept it.

It simply can't make sense any other way. Ya know?

The perfect cop out. Jesus was perfect so I can be a POS and it's ok? Consider me a Christian.

Not so fast bucket.  Just because Jesus 100% forgives whoever would believe in him doesn't give the Christian license to continue in sin.  Paul's line of thought in Romans 6 addresses this.  "Are we to continue to sin that grace may abound?  By no means!  How can we who died to sin still live in it." 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: fun muffin on February 22, 2016, 09:27:43 AM

See Chings, this is why I had no comment. I rather hear from the scholars. Cf3 is a good man, leads a good life, & I appreciate his insight on this.

Being religious or non-religious shouldn't automatically make you a good or bad person.  It's who YOU are as a person, not some affiliation with or without a religion.

In God's eyes there are no good people.  Who we are as people is our problem.  Sinful by nature.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on February 22, 2016, 09:38:30 AM
the entire basis of most current form christian religions is that you are a piece of trash who deserves to burn in eternal hellfire despite there being almost nothing in the actual bible that says that.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 09:41:38 AM

For those who don't know who I am, I already know the answer to this.

It is impossible and stupid to think that good can be assigned to any person based on their merit. There isn't a reasonable equation to make it work. Whether my cannibal or any other, every person will commit enough "bad" that no "good" they do can cover it enough to make them "good" again. We're all "bad" and if we're honest we know it's true.

That is where Christianity distinguishes itself by fully relying on another, Jesus, who through a perfect, sinless life, and a sacrifice, can wipe the "bad" from any person based on a repentance and reliance on Him. A gift of grace, through no merit of our own. We don't deserve it and we don't earn it, only can accept it.

It simply can't make sense any other way. Ya know?

The perfect cop out. Jesus was perfect so I can be a POS and it's ok? Consider me a Christian.

Not so fast bucket.  Just because Jesus 100% forgives whoever would believe in him doesn't give the Christian license to continue in sin.  Paul's line of thought in Romans 6 addresses this.  "Are we to continue to sin that grace may abound?  By no means!  How can we who died to sin still live in it."

What if after you were forgiven and intended to be a good person again, but you couldn't help yourself?  Does it reset if you had the 'right intentions' to not sin again, over and over?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 09:42:58 AM

the entire basis of most current form christian religions is that you are a piece of trash who deserves to burn in eternal hellfire despite there being almost nothing in the actual bible that says that.

Sure gets butts in the seats and the pocket books out tho
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 09:46:27 AM
A big part of why I don't like current religion is exactly what you said SD.  It's not what was the original message
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: fun muffin on February 22, 2016, 10:03:15 AM
the entire basis of most current form christian religions is that you are a piece of trash who deserves to burn in eternal hellfire despite there being almost nothing in the actual bible that says that.

this is entirely false.

People are separated from God in the THIRD chapter of the Bible.  The whole of the rest of the Bible is God's story of redemption about how He would save man and restore man to a right relationship with him. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 10:07:08 AM
Which is the original message, but not what is preached and conveyed today
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 10:10:42 AM
Bible/Sunday school that message is more originally displayed, but not the choir concert 95% of people only go to on Sunday mornings
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: fun muffin on February 22, 2016, 10:15:06 AM

For those who don't know who I am, I already know the answer to this.

It is impossible and stupid to think that good can be assigned to any person based on their merit. There isn't a reasonable equation to make it work. Whether my cannibal or any other, every person will commit enough "bad" that no "good" they do can cover it enough to make them "good" again. We're all "bad" and if we're honest we know it's true.

That is where Christianity distinguishes itself by fully relying on another, Jesus, who through a perfect, sinless life, and a sacrifice, can wipe the "bad" from any person based on a repentance and reliance on Him. A gift of grace, through no merit of our own. We don't deserve it and we don't earn it, only can accept it.

It simply can't make sense any other way. Ya know?

The perfect cop out. Jesus was perfect so I can be a POS and it's ok? Consider me a Christian.

Not so fast bucket.  Just because Jesus 100% forgives whoever would believe in him doesn't give the Christian license to continue in sin.  Paul's line of thought in Romans 6 addresses this.  "Are we to continue to sin that grace may abound?  By no means!  How can we who died to sin still live in it."

What if after you were forgiven and intended to be a good person again, but you couldn't help yourself?  Does it reset if you had the 'right intentions' to not sin again, over and over?

That is why Paul wrote the very next chapter Romans 7.  Here Paul says starting in verse 18, "For I know nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing......Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! 

Ultimately God sees and knows the depths of our hearts.  He can determine if a person is truly repentant.  A truly repentant person would not take advantage of God's grace and go on sinning deliberately.  Now just because a person genuinely repents doesn't mean they won't still sin.  They will now have new desires to fight sin.  Not look for excuses to indulge in it.  And when the Christian does sin, they look to Jesus.  For his mercies are new every morning. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on February 22, 2016, 10:20:16 AM
What happens if you sin and then get killed before you had time to ask God for forgiveness?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 10:20:27 AM


For those who don't know who I am, I already know the answer to this.

It is impossible and stupid to think that good can be assigned to any person based on their merit. There isn't a reasonable equation to make it work. Whether my cannibal or any other, every person will commit enough "bad" that no "good" they do can cover it enough to make them "good" again. We're all "bad" and if we're honest we know it's true.

That is where Christianity distinguishes itself by fully relying on another, Jesus, who through a perfect, sinless life, and a sacrifice, can wipe the "bad" from any person based on a repentance and reliance on Him. A gift of grace, through no merit of our own. We don't deserve it and we don't earn it, only can accept it.

It simply can't make sense any other way. Ya know?

The perfect cop out. Jesus was perfect so I can be a POS and it's ok? Consider me a Christian.

Not so fast bucket.  Just because Jesus 100% forgives whoever would believe in him doesn't give the Christian license to continue in sin.  Paul's line of thought in Romans 6 addresses this.  "Are we to continue to sin that grace may abound?  By no means!  How can we who died to sin still live in it."

What if after you were forgiven and intended to be a good person again, but you couldn't help yourself?  Does it reset if you had the 'right intentions' to not sin again, over and over?

That is why Paul wrote the very next chapter Romans 7.  Here Paul says starting in verse 18, "For I know nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing......Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! 

Ultimately God sees and knows the depths of our hearts.  He can determine if a person is truly repentant.  A truly repentant person would not take advantage of God's grace and go on sinning deliberately.  Now just because a person genuinely repents doesn't mean they won't still sin.  They will now have new desires to fight sin.  Not look for excuses to indulge in it.  And when the Christian does sin, they look to Jesus.  For his mercies are new every morning.

I hope PW is taking notes, this is how you don't condescend and actually talk openly about religion from that perspective.  I can roll with this fun muffin :thumbs:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: fun muffin on February 22, 2016, 10:20:50 AM
Which is the original message, but not what is preached and conveyed today

There are massive problems within the church.  False teachers are everywhere.  Churches are caving into the demands of the world all over the place.  I won't deny this.

 I truly believe that the Bible are God's very words.  Therefore I have sought out a church that teaches the whole of the Bible in an expositional manner.  And there are many churches like this who teach God's Word the way it was meant to be taught.  But you never hear of them.  Because they aren't out on street corners with all kinds of signs filled with hate. 

If you are looking for a solid Bible teaching church, I'd be happy to recommend some.  Just pm what city you live in and I'll do some research. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 22, 2016, 10:27:36 AM

What does the bible say about cannibalism? Is it as bad as pork?

Probably worse. If you're talking about Jewish laws again, then there are plenty prohibiting touching a dead body, so cannibalism is pretty much off limits. Alternatively if you are talking about eating a person while they are still alive then that probably falls under murder.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 22, 2016, 10:28:32 AM
Pretty conceited to think you know god's intentions and the rest of the world are false teachers
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: fun muffin on February 22, 2016, 10:35:15 AM


For those who don't know who I am, I already know the answer to this.

It is impossible and stupid to think that good can be assigned to any person based on their merit. There isn't a reasonable equation to make it work. Whether my cannibal or any other, every person will commit enough "bad" that no "good" they do can cover it enough to make them "good" again. We're all "bad" and if we're honest we know it's true.

That is where Christianity distinguishes itself by fully relying on another, Jesus, who through a perfect, sinless life, and a sacrifice, can wipe the "bad" from any person based on a repentance and reliance on Him. A gift of grace, through no merit of our own. We don't deserve it and we don't earn it, only can accept it.

It simply can't make sense any other way. Ya know?

The perfect cop out. Jesus was perfect so I can be a POS and it's ok? Consider me a Christian.

Not so fast bucket.  Just because Jesus 100% forgives whoever would believe in him doesn't give the Christian license to continue in sin.  Paul's line of thought in Romans 6 addresses this.  "Are we to continue to sin that grace may abound?  By no means!  How can we who died to sin still live in it."

What if after you were forgiven and intended to be a good person again, but you couldn't help yourself?  Does it reset if you had the 'right intentions' to not sin again, over and over?

That is why Paul wrote the very next chapter Romans 7.  Here Paul says starting in verse 18, "For I know nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing......Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! 

Ultimately God sees and knows the depths of our hearts.  He can determine if a person is truly repentant.  A truly repentant person would not take advantage of God's grace and go on sinning deliberately.  Now just because a person genuinely repents doesn't mean they won't still sin.  They will now have new desires to fight sin.  Not look for excuses to indulge in it.  And when the Christian does sin, they look to Jesus.  For his mercies are new every morning.

I hope PW is taking notes, this is how you don't condescend and actually talk openly about religion from that perspective.  I can roll with this fun muffin :thumbs:

I'm happy to help.  I truly believe there is nothing more important in the world than this.  So if any goemawers have any questions I'll do what I can.   Feel free to pm.  I've got some seminary teaching under my belt, and I'm planning on getting more in the next few years. 


fwiw PW and I have very similar beliefs.  (as far as I can tell.)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 22, 2016, 10:38:25 AM

What does the bible say about cannibalism? Is it as bad as pork?

Probably worse. If you're talking about Jewish laws again, then there are plenty prohibiting touching a dead body, so cannibalism is pretty much off limits. Alternatively if you are talking about eating a person while they are still alive then that probably falls under murder.

Well they're cannibals, not monsters. Of course the person would already be dead before they start eating.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: fun muffin on February 22, 2016, 10:40:46 AM
Pretty conceited to think you know god's intentions and the rest of the world are false teachers

God's intentions are revealed in the Bible.  It's easy to tell who's listening or not. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: fun muffin on February 22, 2016, 10:54:25 AM
What happens if you sin and then get killed before you had time to ask God for forgiveness?

The Bible is quite clear on this.  Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.  No one goes to the Father (to heaven) except through Him.  Any person who does not believe/trust in Jesus will be separated from God. 

This is the problem that all people have.  Everyone has sinned.  Everyone will endure God's wrath.  This is because God is just.  And because he is just he will punish all evil.  He alone sets the standard for what is right and what is evil.  It takes just one sin to separate us from a Holy and perfect God.  But of course we sin constantly everyday.  Our situation is hopeless apart from Christ. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 22, 2016, 10:58:27 AM
I don't sin all that often. Certainly not constantly every day.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: renocat on February 22, 2016, 11:00:00 AM
All are.born sinners.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 22, 2016, 11:10:42 AM

Pretty conceited to think you know god's intentions and the rest of the world are false teachers

I get this line of thinking, but if you believe there is an ultimate truth that has an impact on our lives on Earth then you kind of have to place your faith in something and make an effort to understand what that truth is and how it affects you.

No one who is a good Christian (or any faith based religion) claims to understand what is true or false without admittedly relying on what has been revealed to them by God (or who/whatever). It's ultimately an exercise in faith, not pride.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on February 22, 2016, 11:50:54 AM
What happens if you sin and then get killed before you had time to ask God for forgiveness?

The Bible is quite clear on this.  Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.  No one goes to the Father (to heaven) except through Him.  Any person who does not believe/trust in Jesus will be separated from God. 

This is the problem that all people have.  Everyone has sinned.  Everyone will endure God's wrath.  This is because God is just.  And because he is just he will punish all evil.  He alone sets the standard for what is right and what is evil.  It takes just one sin to separate us from a Holy and perfect God.  But of course we sin constantly everyday.  Our situation is hopeless apart from Christ.

So, since you didn't really directly answer my question, here's what I took from your answer...There is no way to get to God except through Jesus and any sin (even one little one) separates us from God and therefore we have to ask for forgiveness (through Jesus) every time we sin. So if we have already asked God to save us (through Jesus) but then we sin again (which everyone will) then we must again ask for forgiveness (through Jesus) before we can get un-seperated from God again and go to Heaven...therefore if we die at a time that we are separated from God (have committed a sin that has not yet been asked forgiveness for) then we will go to Hell. So unless you die right after you asked for forgiveness then you are going to Hell basically.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: yoga-like_abana on February 22, 2016, 12:13:42 PM
Didn't we have like a 30 page thread on this already?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 22, 2016, 12:15:38 PM
What happens if you sin and then get killed before you had time to ask God for forgiveness?

The Bible is quite clear on this.  Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.  No one goes to the Father (to heaven) except through Him.  Any person who does not believe/trust in Jesus will be separated from God. 

This is the problem that all people have.  Everyone has sinned.  Everyone will endure God's wrath.  This is because God is just.  And because he is just he will punish all evil.  He alone sets the standard for what is right and what is evil.  It takes just one sin to separate us from a Holy and perfect God.  But of course we sin constantly everyday.  Our situation is hopeless apart from Christ.

So, since you didn't really directly answer my question, here's what I took from your answer...There is no way to get to God except through Jesus and any sin (even one little one) separates us from God and therefore we have to ask for forgiveness (through Jesus) every time we sin. So if we have already asked God to save us (through Jesus) but then we sin again (which everyone will) then we must again ask for forgiveness (through Jesus) before we can get un-seperated from God again and go to Heaven...therefore if we die at a time that we are separated from God (have committed a sin that has not yet been asked forgiveness for) then we will go to Hell. So unless you die right after you asked for forgiveness then you are going to Hell basically.

Anything else would be a false teaching
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 22, 2016, 01:26:45 PM
Mrs. Gooch, your person does not go to hell if they have a true belief in Jesus. They should be continually repentant thru life but whether that includes the very last sin of their life isn't an issue, as long as they died holding onto their redeeming belief in Christ.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 22, 2016, 01:33:23 PM
What I always desire to hear in these discussions is the system with which the non Christians feel is answering these questions. It seems to me that you'd like to have real answers, but rarely suggest any. Instead we listen to everyone's shallow knowledge of the Bible.

You gotta have a reason for why you think and act the way you do OR admit you don't care and don't have a clue.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: renocat on February 22, 2016, 01:35:14 PM
Mrs. Gooch, your person does not go to hell if they have a true belief in Jesus. They should be continually repentant thru life but whether that includes the very last sin of their life isn't an issue, as long as they died holding onto their redeeming belief in Christ.
Well said.  Everyone wants.to know.what they have to do for redemption from sin.  Such as.asking for forgiveness.  You will be sinning while asking for forgiveness.  Christ has done the work and we are given a free gift of salvation that is ours by believing in the death and resurrection of Jesus. So if you die in faith in Jesus you will have.eternal life.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 22, 2016, 01:36:50 PM
I don't sin all that often. Certainly not constantly every day.

But surely you don't think of yourself as a "good" person.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: michigancat on February 22, 2016, 01:41:02 PM
Is considering yourself to be a "good person" a sin? Seems like it could be.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 22, 2016, 01:43:25 PM
Seems pretty narcissistic.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 22, 2016, 01:44:24 PM
You haven't seen a Christian in this thread making that claim.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 22, 2016, 02:21:47 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on February 22, 2016, 02:22:05 PM
the entire basis of most current form christian religions is that you are a piece of trash who deserves to burn in eternal hellfire despite there being almost nothing in the actual bible that says that.

that's why hell was thrown in later
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 22, 2016, 02:24:57 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions.

Yes!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on February 22, 2016, 02:42:28 PM
note to self for invention - app for fitbit to detect pulse irregularities and buzz to remind soon-to-be-dying christians to repent before they lose consciousness.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 22, 2016, 03:03:56 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions.

Yes!

If this crap life is all we have to look forward to then we have it pretty rough.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 22, 2016, 03:05:06 PM
I don't sin all that often. Certainly not constantly every day.

But surely you don't think of yourself as a "good" person.

I surely do. And I'm Christian, too!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 22, 2016, 03:05:37 PM
the entire basis of most current form christian religions is that you are a piece of trash who deserves to burn in eternal hellfire despite there being almost nothing in the actual bible that says that.

that's why hell was thrown in later

Thank you both for your expert testimony.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 22, 2016, 03:06:18 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions.

Yes!

If this crap life is all we have to look forward to then we have it pretty rough.

I disagree. Life is pretty great.  Probably goes back to the whole "you choose which you live in" comment I made.  I mean, I wouldn't even want Heaven to be better, if it did exist.  Highs need lows. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Institutional Control on February 22, 2016, 03:06:23 PM
I feel bad for PW having a crap life.  Probably because he spends too much time talking about Jesus. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 22, 2016, 03:07:15 PM
I don't sin all that often. Certainly not constantly every day.

But surely you don't think of yourself as a "good" person.

I surely do. And I'm Christian, too!

This gets us back to our original question. What makes you good? Tell us.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 22, 2016, 03:09:40 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions.

Yes!

If this crap life is all we have to look forward to then we have it pretty rough.

I disagree. Life is pretty great.  Probably goes back to the whole "you choose which you live in" comment I made.  I mean, I wouldn't even want Heaven to be better, if it did exist.  Highs need lows. 

Yeah. I find that as long as you don't judge others and treat them as you would like to be treated yourself, life is pretty great.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 03:09:44 PM
You know PW is pissed when it's just normal text
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: PoetWarrior on February 22, 2016, 03:10:46 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions.

Yes!

If this crap life is all we have to look forward to then we have it pretty rough.

I disagree. Life is pretty great.  Probably goes back to the whole "you choose which you live in" comment I made.  I mean, I wouldn't even want Heaven to be better, if it did exist.  Highs need lows.

Pretty great is not good enough for me. And what about the millions / billions who would say their life was not pretty great. What are they doing wrong?

Yeah, no one wants perfection. How disappointing.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 22, 2016, 03:12:16 PM
Low expectations typically do make people happier.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 22, 2016, 03:15:36 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions.

Yes!

If this crap life is all we have to look forward to then we have it pretty rough.

I disagree. Life is pretty great.  Probably goes back to the whole "you choose which you live in" comment I made.  I mean, I wouldn't even want Heaven to be better, if it did exist.  Highs need lows.

Pretty great is not good enough for me.

Weird.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 03:16:09 PM
Delayed gratification that never arrives would be terrible if you could experience it after you die
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 22, 2016, 03:17:19 PM
I don't sin all that often. Certainly not constantly every day.

But surely you don't think of yourself as a "good" person.

I surely do. And I'm Christian, too!

This gets us back to our original question. What makes you good? Tell us.

I've not found a single person with a bad thing to say about me. Also, I'm on the record in some other thread that I would not kill baby Hitler.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 22, 2016, 03:17:41 PM
Delayed gratification that never arrives would be terrible if you could experience it after you die

The only good news is that, since there isn't an afterlife, they will never realize their waste.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on February 22, 2016, 03:18:58 PM

Delayed gratification that never arrives would be terrible if you could experience it after you die

The only good news is that, since there isn't an afterlife, they will never realize their waste.

That silver lining makes me feel better about it
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 22, 2016, 03:19:53 PM
Delayed gratification that never arrives would be terrible if you could experience it after you die

The only good news is that, since there isn't an afterlife, they will never realize their waste.

It's not really waste, though. They get plenty of gratification on earth, regardless of what happens after.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 22, 2016, 03:20:34 PM
Delayed gratification that never arrives would be terrible if you could experience it after you die

The only good news is that, since there isn't an afterlife, they will never realize their waste.

It's not really waste, though. They get plenty of gratification on earth, regardless of what happens after.

IDK, it sounds like PW isn't.  :dunno:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on February 22, 2016, 03:23:57 PM
So who decided what actually went in the Bible?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: renocat on February 22, 2016, 03:28:51 PM
There are.two types.of sins.  Sins of commission, the things I did.  And sins of ommission, things we should have done but didn't do.  Throw in just thinking about things wrongly is sin.  And all sins in the eyes of the Father makes.us appear as dirty rags, dov barf, pig grunt etc to him.  Christ died on the cross as a substitute for our sin riddled worthless carcasses. He was punished for our sins.  When we believe in Jesus we.are his children and.the.Father sees the pure holiness of Christ.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on February 22, 2016, 03:30:39 PM
There are.two types.of sins.  Sins of commission, the things I did.  And sins of ommission, things we should have done but didn't do.  Throw in just thinking about things wrongly is sin.  And all sins in the eyes of the Father makes.us appear as dirty rags, dov barf, pig grunt etc to him.  Christ died on the cross as a substitute for our sin riddled worthless carcasses. He was punished for our sins.  When we believe in Jesus we.are his children and.the.Father sees the pure holiness of Christ.

So much love
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 22, 2016, 03:31:59 PM
That's pretty messed up, Reno.  I want no part of that.  That is an abusive relationship.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 22, 2016, 03:34:32 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions.

Yes!

If this crap life is all we have to look forward to then we have it pretty rough.

I disagree. Life is pretty great.  Probably goes back to the whole "you choose which you live in" comment I made.  I mean, I wouldn't even want Heaven to be better, if it did exist.  Highs need lows.

Pretty great is not good enough for me. And what about the millions / billions who would say their life was not pretty great. What are they doing wrong?

Yeah, no one wants perfection. How disappointing.

This is the line of thought that created the Nazis, fwiw.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 22, 2016, 03:41:22 PM

So who decided what actually went in the Bible?

OT is almost all the Jews. For NT, I think someone posted a link, but it is one (or more) of the "counsels." Nicea maybe?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on February 22, 2016, 04:28:04 PM
How do I know they got the right parts in and left out the right stuff?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on February 22, 2016, 04:31:14 PM
the entire basis of most current form christian religions is that you are a piece of trash who deserves to burn in eternal hellfire despite there being almost nothing in the actual bible that says that.

that's why hell was thrown in later

Thank you both for your expert testimony.

 :thumbs:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on February 22, 2016, 04:55:49 PM
There is no afterlife.  Heaven and Hell are both right here.  You choose which you live in by your actions.

Yes!

If this crap life is all we have to look forward to then we have it pretty rough.

Sounds like you choose to live in hell
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: renocat on February 22, 2016, 04:55:58 PM
Hell is really the eternal separation from Christ and his new world of holiness where peace, goodness and love is and no evil or sickness exits.  Hell will be the opposite, pure evil will exist.  In our current world goodness does exist so life doesn't seem like its.too bad, but take the goodness from the equation and it ain't pretty.  Read chapters 19-21 of Revelations.  My church teaches we are.both saint and.sinner on earth as a Christian.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 22, 2016, 05:38:04 PM
Hell is an empty threat
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on February 22, 2016, 06:13:08 PM

How do I know they got the right parts in and left out the right stuff?

The same way you "know" anything. You make an educated guess and wait to see if it is proven wrong.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 8manpick on February 22, 2016, 07:54:30 PM

Hell is an empty threat
And heaven an empty promise
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on February 22, 2016, 07:56:14 PM
Carrot and stick but you never get fed or beat.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 07, 2017, 05:53:40 PM
When an Atheist gets elected to public office, what book they they use to swear them in?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 07, 2017, 05:55:20 PM
When an Atheist gets elected to public office, what book they they use to swear them in?

Cat Tales - Mark Jannsen
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 07, 2017, 05:56:07 PM
When an Atheist gets elected to public office, what book they they use to swear them in?

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuploads.tapatalk-cdn.com%2F20170107%2Ffc175da0421c9621ce6fae7361980bb3.jpg&hash=c92e4cb6a6942b80eebe1f502b3abaa2aedb296d)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Spracne on January 07, 2017, 06:11:03 PM
When an Atheist gets elected to public office, what book they they use to swear them in?
John Quincy Adams was sworn in on his inauguration day with a book of laws rather than a bible. It seems that in the early days of the republic, swearing in with Bibles was not a universal practice. I like the idea of using the Constitution instead--particularly in the case of Q. Adams, as he won the presidency by House vote per the Twelfth Amendment after no candidates succeeded in winning the electoral college. Fun fact alert: He actually lost in the popular vote to Andrew Jackson, only to later lose to Jackson in his reelection bid.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 07, 2017, 06:18:02 PM
I like the idea of using the Constitution instead

i like this
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 07, 2017, 06:21:36 PM
It's a great day to be a wildcat
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: _33 on January 08, 2017, 05:32:18 PM
OBUMMER PROBABLY USED THE KORAN AMIRITE SAD REALLY.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Spracne on January 08, 2017, 05:59:29 PM
Fun fact: Obama was the first, and thus only, President to be sworn in with the Lincoln Bible.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 08, 2017, 06:19:50 PM
Fun fact: Obama was the first, and thus only, President to be sworn in with the Lincoln Bible.

Do you know why?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Spracne on January 08, 2017, 06:23:00 PM
Because they offerred, and no one had previously thought to ask, if memory serves.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 08, 2017, 06:26:16 PM
Lincoln is also President Obama's favorite president, he talked about it quite a bit in the special Fareed Zakaria did on his legacy.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 09, 2017, 10:02:36 AM
The constitution makes them most sense.  It is the one thing that everyone in the country has in common.  I mean, you might as well swear in on a MC Hammer Hits Mixtape rather than the Bible.  They both have a following and they both mean equally as much to governing our country.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: OK_Cat on January 09, 2017, 10:13:45 AM
The constitution makes them most sense.  It is the one thing that everyone in the country has in common.  I mean, you might as well swear in on a MC Hammer Hits Mixtape rather than the Bible.  They both have a following and they both mean equally as much to governing our country.

But......

You can't touch it?



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 09, 2017, 10:14:18 AM
Well, that is fantastic and a good point!  :lol:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Tobias on January 09, 2017, 10:26:21 AM
:lol:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: renocat on January 09, 2017, 03:16:17 PM
Being so egotistical, the betting line at Yoder and the Haven coffee shop, Trump will place his hand on himself for the oath.  My suggestion of using Russian propaganda was shot down.  The Bible got strong support too.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 09, 2017, 03:19:59 PM
Trump will put his hand on the bible. It's his favorite book.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 09, 2017, 04:17:17 PM
Really a terrific book, let me tell you.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 09, 2017, 04:28:12 PM
I went to church on Sunday for the first time I can remember since I was a child.  Besides weddings and funerals and stuff of course.  I really enjoyed it.  I think I will go back.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 09, 2017, 04:29:27 PM
I don't consider myself a Christian FWIW, this is dabbling. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 09, 2017, 04:33:54 PM
I'm also sad this thread is in the pit.  It seems as if people were having a thoughtful and respectful interaction. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Institutional Control on January 10, 2017, 08:08:36 AM
I went to church on Sunday for the first time I can remember since I was a child.  Besides weddings and funerals and stuff of course.  I really enjoyed it.  I think I will go back.

I can't think of a worse way to spend a Sunday morning.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 10, 2017, 08:12:46 AM
I went to church on Sunday for the first time I can remember since I was a child.  Besides weddings and funerals and stuff of course.  I really enjoyed it.  I think I will go back.

I can't think of a worse way to spend a Sunday morning.

I doubt that. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 10, 2017, 08:26:10 AM
What was enjoyable? (srs question)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: mocat on January 10, 2017, 08:27:11 AM
if nothing else it's a great time to meditate
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 10, 2017, 09:14:47 AM
I went to church on Sunday for the first time I can remember since I was a child.  Besides weddings and funerals and stuff of course.  I really enjoyed it.  I think I will go back.

I can't think of a worse way to spend a Sunday morning.

Brunch is waaaaaay overrated.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 10, 2017, 09:22:17 AM
As a Christian, I will say, Catholics are a bit odd to me. I went to Mass With Mrs. wacky's family on Christmas and I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. It was so packed, I had to stand. Also, since I didn't take their test or whatever they have to do to do communion, I got a bunch of weird looks for not going up to do it. I was pretty much a devil worshiper in their eyes. Seems a bit cult-ish.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 10, 2017, 09:26:21 AM
Also, since I didn't take their test or whatever they have to do to do communion, I got a bunch of weird looks for not going up to do it. I was pretty much a devil worshiper in their eyes. Seems a bit cult-ish.

no you weren't. even catholics don't take it if they have like sins they haven't told the pope about and did their hail marys and crap. it's pretty normal.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 10, 2017, 09:30:16 AM
Plus you could just get off your ass and get in line for a blessing. Crossing your arms and bowing your head is Catholic for "no communion for me, please." Then they do a little blessing and send you on your merry way.
Title: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 10, 2017, 09:31:38 AM
Also, if you went to mass on Christmas you have to understand at least 50% of the people in there probably go to church no more than twice a year, so they were probably just as uncomfortable.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 10, 2017, 09:35:56 AM
What would happen if you just got in line and ate that cracker? 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 10, 2017, 09:39:25 AM
Catholicism is one of the less interesting sects imo. V boring
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 10, 2017, 10:01:44 AM
As a Christian, I will say, Catholics are a bit odd to me. I went to Mass With Mrs. wacky's family on Christmas and I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. It was so packed, I had to stand. Also, since I didn't take their test or whatever they have to do to do communion, I got a bunch of weird looks for not going up to do it. I was pretty much a devil worshiper in their eyes. Seems a bit cult-ish.

St. Mike's had like 4000 people there at the 6 pm mass.  It was way too full
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 10, 2017, 10:20:49 AM
Yeah, we were at St. Joseph in Shawnee. I've always been told not to go up there by family members, but it's whatever. Can confirm I always get a dirty glare from the grandma when I don't do the kneel down thing at church and weddings.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 10, 2017, 10:23:25 AM
But you're probably right, SD. I probably wasn't getting glares, just a bit paranoid I guess, since I felt like everyone went up there.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 10, 2017, 10:23:46 AM
Sounds like a bunch of those churchgoers are judgemental assholes.  Is that a sin?  Maybe they need some more Jesus in their lives?  Maybe they O.D'ed on Jesus?  Maybe Jesus is like Heroin where they were super saved at first and now they are just continually going back to try to get that saved again, but try as they might, they can't get that first amt of saved to happen again? 

Whatever it is, I doubt it is even about you, Wacky.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: yoga-like_abana on January 10, 2017, 10:26:56 AM
pastor at my church sounds like and looks like a pro wrestler so I really enjoy it..
the music is good but I hate Christian music even the very contemporary stuff.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 10, 2017, 10:27:31 AM
I think old school Catholics want their kids and grandchildren to get married to other Catholics pretty badly. I think that use to be a big deal back in the day.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 10, 2017, 10:29:44 AM
What would happen if you just got in line and ate that cracker?

That's the real question isn't it?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 10, 2017, 10:30:19 AM
What would happen if you just got in line and ate that cracker?

That's the real question isn't it?

It may be the haunting question in my life that actually gets me to church!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 10, 2017, 10:33:57 AM
Catholicism is one of the less interesting sects imo. V boring

Among Christian religions, I would put it only behind Mormonism. Catholicism has a pretty rich history with lots of good storylines.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 10, 2017, 10:37:41 AM
What would happen if you just got in line and ate that cracker?

That's the real question isn't it?

It may be the haunting question in my life that actually gets me to church!

I've done it before. It was no big deal.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Tobias on January 10, 2017, 10:39:42 AM
wacky, if you're gonna #blessed catholicism you're gonna have to start at st joe's
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 10, 2017, 10:40:45 AM
Yeah, we were at St. Joseph in Shawnee. I've always been told not to go up there by family members, but it's whatever. Can confirm I always get a dirty glare from the grandma when I don't do the kneel down thing at church and weddings.

Go to a different catholic church with less trashy people.  I don't do any of that and no one GAF
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Tobias on January 10, 2017, 10:42:00 AM
find the sweatiest looking bro you can next time and stare him down.  maybe flex at him on your way up there
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 10, 2017, 10:43:18 AM
Really, just start taking communion every week. You might get a few dirty looks from family members at first, but pretty soon they will forget you ever weren't catholic. You don't need to waste your time with any classes.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: cfbandyman on January 10, 2017, 10:53:55 AM
Having grown up Catholic until I was about 12, I can say the things I love about Catholicism are the things that ultimately don't matter. I love the pageantry, the "officialness" of Mass, the Latin, the very formulaic service in general (communion, sermon, etc.). It is really good at giving off an aura of "this is how worship should be." It's the message though where I, cannot, and will not, ever fully go in on. My mom left the Catholic Church for basically being chastised for being a cafeteria Catholic, and hence why I was only grew up until 12 being Catholic. New Priest was extremely hard lined.

Honestly, I don't know how you can be a cerebral individual and be a hard line Catholic (obviously can have argument for any religion in general but I won't go that far right now). I absolutely abhor someone telling me what to believe, and how to believe it, especially from some bully pulpit. At least Pope Francis is doing his best to being a more normal person when it comes to Catholicism, which believe me wacks, I totally get the dirty looks part. Catholics can be some of the most judgey people ever, which is so ironic giving how often mumped their kids are. Looking right at you Kapaun Mt. Carmel rainbow party herpes riddled spoiled brats.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 10, 2017, 10:56:10 AM
What would happen if you just got in line and ate that cracker?

That's the real question isn't it?

It may be the haunting question in my life that actually gets me to church!

I've done it before. It was no big deal.

Well if you consider burning in hell no big deal.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 10, 2017, 10:57:04 AM
What is a cafeteria catholic?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 10, 2017, 10:58:10 AM
What would happen if you just got in line and ate that cracker?

That's the real question isn't it?

It may be the haunting question in my life that actually gets me to church!

I've done it before. It was no big deal.

Well if you consider burning in hell no big deal.

I'll worry about that when I get there.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: yoga-like_abana on January 10, 2017, 10:59:57 AM
What is a cafeteria catholic?
his mom apparently worked as a lunch lady at Kapaun Mt. Carmel
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 10, 2017, 11:00:38 AM
wacky, if you're gonna #blessed catholicism you're gonna have to start at st joe's
I got blessed there. They need more air conditioning. I was sweating the whole time.

Any of you Catholics going to snowball this year? It's usually where I ear hole the crap out of Clark Hunt.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 10, 2017, 11:02:08 AM
Do you know what snowballing is?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 10, 2017, 11:02:29 AM
May make you reconsider.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 10, 2017, 11:02:43 AM
What is a cafeteria catholic?

Pick and choose what you want to follow/believe
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 10, 2017, 11:04:03 AM
What is a cafeteria catholic?

Pick and choose what you want to follow/believe

Well that is every religious person on earth.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 10, 2017, 11:07:06 AM
Hence the "hardline" priest that says follow it all or gtfo
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 10, 2017, 11:14:02 AM
Do you know what snowballing is?
Probably doing a mound of coke, but this is their snowball. https://catholiccharitiesks.org/event/snow-ball-2017/
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 10, 2017, 11:20:29 AM
Snowballing is when a man and woman love each other very much and the woman regifts ejaculate from the man during a kiss. Sometimes also known as a salty kiss

You should ear hole this to clark
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 10, 2017, 11:22:27 AM
 :ROFL:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 10, 2017, 11:45:48 AM
Having grown up Catholic until I was about 12, I can say the things I love about Catholicism are the things that ultimately don't matter. I love the pageantry, the "officialness" of Mass, the Latin, the very formulaic service in general (communion, sermon, etc.). It is really good at giving off an aura of "this is how worship should be." It's the message though where I, cannot, and will not, ever fully go in on. My mom left the Catholic Church for basically being chastised for being a cafeteria Catholic, and hence why I was only grew up until 12 being Catholic. New Priest was extremely hard lined.

Honestly, I don't know how you can be a cerebral individual and be a hard line Catholic (obviously can have argument for any religion in general but I won't go that far right now). I absolutely abhor someone telling me what to believe, and how to believe it, especially from some bully pulpit. At least Pope Francis is doing his best to being a more normal person when it comes to Catholicism, which believe me wacks, I totally get the dirty looks part. Catholics can be some of the most judgey people ever, which is so ironic giving how often mumped their kids are. Looking right at you Kapaun Mt. Carmel rainbow party herpes riddled spoiled brats.

He has done a very good job of emphasizing love over doctrine, which sadly has actually put off some Catholics who like being rule followers (almost like the non-prodigal son). Cardinal Dolan also does a great job of this.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: mocat on January 10, 2017, 12:20:23 PM
regifts  :lol:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 10, 2017, 12:49:01 PM
Do you know what snowballing is?
Probably doing a mound of coke, but this is their snowball. https://catholiccharitiesks.org/event/snow-ball-2017/
Oh ok. And no not what I had in mind. My bad.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 10, 2017, 12:50:05 PM
Snowballing is when a man and woman love each other very much and the woman regifts ejaculate from the man during a kiss. Sometimes also known as a salty kiss

You should ear hole this to clark
I thought it was a gift from another man you didn't know you were receiving during oral play.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: cfbandyman on January 10, 2017, 01:04:08 PM
What is a cafeteria catholic?

Pick and choose what you want to follow/believe

Well that is every religious person on earth.

correct on all counts
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Institutional Control on January 10, 2017, 01:19:29 PM
Snowballing is when a man and woman love each other very much and the woman regifts ejaculate from the man during a kiss. Sometimes also known as a salty kiss

You should ear hole this to clark

In the Bible thread, lib?   :nono:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 10, 2017, 01:20:31 PM
New Testament, though. Leviticus no longer applies, McKee.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 10, 2017, 01:20:59 PM
Snowballing is when a man and woman love each other very much and the woman regifts ejaculate from the man during a kiss. Sometimes also known as a salty kiss

You should ear hole this to clark
I thought it was a gift from another man you didn't know you were receiving during oral play.

You're right, I shouldn't be so hetrocentric
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 10, 2017, 01:32:09 PM
Snowballing is when a man and woman love each other very much and the woman regifts ejaculate from the man during a kiss. Sometimes also known as a salty kiss

You should ear hole this to clark
I thought it was a gift from another man you didn't know you were receiving during oral play.

You're right, I shouldn't be so hetrocentric
I meant consuming semen while pleasing a woman. Not sure how it would work in the homosexual community. Nevermind I figured it out. I was being hetero centric too
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: puniraptor on January 10, 2017, 07:39:52 PM
church (catholic [likely all church) is pretty good people watching. fun to do a couple times a year when you are home and your mom really really tries hard to guilt you into it.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 16, 2017, 01:39:49 PM
What was enjoyable? (srs question)

Well, first off the context:  opportunity cost was low.  The weather was crappy and cold and normally we might have watched cartoons and wrestled around and waited until the afternoon to get outside.

So instead we get up, get showered and dressed, lil Emo looking all dapper and Mrs. Emo looking very nice too.  We drop my son off to this classroom they've got with a bunch of other cute little kids and head in to the service.  On the way I spot an old colleague and we catch up, it was nice to see him.  First 10 or 15 minutes are a band playing while everyone files in.  It's a cool facility, not wanting for anything, and I enjoyed the music.  Then the speaker was not the regular pastor.  He was an older dude, kinda southern, warm and funny.  Felt more like a college lecture than a sermon.  There was humor, some history, some moving stories.  I was entertained and at times reflected on my own life.  Sometimes I was inspired. 

After the service we retrieved our son, the staff reported that he did great, and it was nice he got to play with a neighbor's kid he really likes.  He was just the cutest and was telling us how he played and had fun.  On the way home we asked him if we wanted to eat at a restaurant or at home, he said home, so we went grocery shopping.

Anyway, just a good morning with the family.  I felt bad that I didn't get to go this weekend.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 16, 2017, 01:59:45 PM
Band?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 16, 2017, 02:02:35 PM
Ya?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 16, 2017, 02:03:55 PM
In church?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 02:04:44 PM
It's called a choir.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 16, 2017, 02:04:50 PM
Ya dude. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 16, 2017, 02:08:25 PM
There were a couple vocalists and two guitars (one bass) and keyboard and a drummer.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 16, 2017, 02:08:37 PM
Hell they even had lights. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 16, 2017, 02:08:49 PM
Heck I mean.  crap.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 02:09:55 PM
Emo has found himself one of those churches with a "contemporary" service.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 16, 2017, 02:11:33 PM
This weekend they only offered a streaming service because of the winter death storm. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 02:25:57 PM
 nobody GAF if you don't take communion, but taking communion if you're not catholic is pretty disrespectful.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 16, 2017, 02:30:35 PM
I find it disrespectful when people don't sit, stand, and kneel at a Catholic wedding. Especially if you are in the wedding party.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 02:31:31 PM
What if you are Christian but not Catholic? Are you allowed to take communion at a Catholic church?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 02:31:44 PM
I disagree. Non-catholics take communion in their church, and it's not like the priest asks anyone who is visiting the church to not take the communion. It's sort of disrespectful to just expect everyone to know that they aren't allowed to take the communion, really.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 16, 2017, 02:33:35 PM
God doesn't care, he loves us all, maybe even equally. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 16, 2017, 02:36:54 PM
I find it disrespectful when people don't sit, stand, and kneel at a Catholic wedding. Especially if you are in the wedding party.
What if you don't know wtf is going on with their chants?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 16, 2017, 02:38:24 PM
God doesn't care, he loves us all, maybe even equally.

What if we don't love him?  We mumped then?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 02:41:15 PM
God doesn't care, he loves us all, maybe even equally.

What if we don't love him?  We mumped then?

Basically, yes.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 16, 2017, 02:41:48 PM
You get really defensive with religious talk, TBT. You can be atheist and no one is judging you. Nobody really knows anything more than anyone else when it comes to the afterlife.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 16, 2017, 02:43:32 PM
How am I being defensive?  One of my favorite shows right now is The Story of God, so I'm a little confused
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 02:44:22 PM
I disagree. Non-catholics take communion in their church, and it's not like the priest asks anyone who is visiting the church to not take the communion. It's sort of disrespectful to just expect everyone to know that they aren't allowed to take the communion, really.
Obviously if you don't know whether or not you're allowed to take communion it's not disrespectful.  And at most Catholic weddings I've been to, the priest will say something to the effect of "receiving Communion is for Catholics only.  non-catholics can come up and receive a blessing or remain seated.

@ Mommagooch -- no.  Communion is for Catholics only. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: mocat on January 16, 2017, 02:44:28 PM
What if you are Christian but not Catholic? Are you allowed to take communion at a Catholic church?

no
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 16, 2017, 02:47:14 PM
I find it disrespectful when people don't sit, stand, and kneel at a Catholic wedding. Especially if you are in the wedding party.
What if you don't know wtf is going on with their chants?

I don't know what you mean, but its pretty easy to follow along. Especially if someone held you in high enough esteem to have you be a part of their wedding party.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 16, 2017, 02:47:47 PM
That sounds nice Emo, glad you had a good time.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 16, 2017, 02:48:14 PM
How am I being defensive?  One of my favorite shows right now is The Story of God, so I'm a little confused
IDK. I've just remembered you bringing up the "judgey" part before. Nobody gives a damn, unless your a non-catholic taking a catholics communion, then you're mumped!  :D
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 16, 2017, 02:50:28 PM
I find it disrespectful when people don't sit, stand, and kneel at a Catholic wedding. Especially if you are in the wedding party.
What if you don't know wtf is going on with their chants?

I don't know what you mean, but its pretty easy to follow along. Especially if someone held you in high enough esteem to have you be a part of their wedding party.
I'm just joking. I've never been in a catholic wedding, but I have been to some. I don't think Catholics even want you doing the kneel down stuff  either unless you're catholic. They're kinda snobby about who/what can be a part of their special god club.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 16, 2017, 02:56:18 PM
What's a good/interesting resource to learn more about the bible as a literary source? I'm not real interested on the faith and whatnot, but I often feel ignorant about the literary importance the bible has had on film and popular culture in general.

I feel this way about a lot of classic books/plays, but I might as well start with #1
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 02:57:44 PM
I find it disrespectful when people don't sit, stand, and kneel at a Catholic wedding. Especially if you are in the wedding party.
What if you don't know wtf is going on with their chants?

I don't know what you mean, but its pretty easy to follow along. Especially if someone held you in high enough esteem to have you be a part of their wedding party.
I'm just joking. I've never been in a catholic wedding, but I have been to some. I don't think Catholics even want you doing the kneel down stuff  either unless you're catholic. They're kinda snobby about who/what can be a part of their special god club.
Literally the only thing you're not allowed to do as a non-Catholic at a Catholic Mass is ingest the Eucharist. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 02:59:15 PM
What's a good/interesting resource to learn more about the bible as a literary source? I'm not real interested on the faith and whatnot, but I often feel ignorant about the literary importance the bible has had on film and popular culture in general.

I feel this way about a lot of classic books/plays, but I might as well start with #1

You could always just read it. If you are more interested in the portions that get referenced in film and popular culture, just read Genesis, Exodus, Job, Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John (really could get by with just 1 of MMLJ). Then read Revelations.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 16, 2017, 02:59:50 PM
I am Catholic. Was a groomsmen at a Catholic wedding (full mass! eff yeah!) Only 2 of the 4 of us sat, stood, kneeled. I don't know, I'm not judgey at all about any of these things. I don't know many Catholics that are.

I just found it to be a dick move on their part.

Also, I don't think Catholic rules apply to non catholics about communion. If it isn't part of your faith, then it's not. Take communion, don't. Who cares.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 03:01:37 PM
Also, I don't think Catholic rules apply to non catholics about communion. If it isn't part of your faith, then it's not. Take communion, don't. Who cares.
what?  no.  the rule is that only Catholics who aren't in a state of mortal sin may receive communion.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 16, 2017, 03:02:24 PM
What's a good/interesting resource to learn more about the bible as a literary source? I'm not real interested on the faith and whatnot, but I often feel ignorant about the literary importance the bible has had on film and popular culture in general.

I feel this way about a lot of classic books/plays, but I might as well start with #1

You could always just read it.

I was hoping for something I could listen to. Also maybe just the highlights with background context or historical perspective
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: yoga-like_abana on January 16, 2017, 03:02:52 PM
I am Catholic. Was a groomsmen at a Catholic wedding (full mass! eff yeah!) Only 2 of the 4 of us sat, stood, kneeled.
sounds like the grooms prob.. not the groomsmen
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: bucket on January 16, 2017, 03:03:06 PM
What's a good/interesting resource to learn more about the bible as a literary source? I'm not real interested on the faith and whatnot, but I often feel ignorant about the literary importance the bible has had on film and popular culture in general.

I feel this way about a lot of classic books/plays, but I might as well start with #1

The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 16, 2017, 03:03:40 PM
Communion was always my favorite time growing up when I went to church.  My mom even bought some sparkling grape juice for me because it tasted so good at church.  It never quite tasted as good outside of church tho.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 16, 2017, 03:03:49 PM
Also, I don't think Catholic rules apply to non catholics about communion. If it isn't part of your faith, then it's not. Take communion, don't. Who cares.
what?  no.  the rule is that only Catholics who aren't in a state of mortal sin may receive communion.

Oh I know the rule. I can't see how it would be a sin for a Baptist, Buddhist, Muslim to receive communion as it is not a part of their belief system.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: bucket on January 16, 2017, 03:05:26 PM
Also, I don't think Catholic rules apply to non catholics about communion. If it isn't part of your faith, then it's not. Take communion, don't. Who cares.
what?  no.  the rule is that only Catholics who aren't in a state of mortal sin may receive communion.

Oh I know the rule. I can't see how it would be a sin for a Baptist, Buddhist, Muslim to receive communion as it is not a part of their belief system.

Eternal damnation!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 03:10:14 PM
Also, I don't think Catholic rules apply to non catholics about communion. If it isn't part of your faith, then it's not. Take communion, don't. Who cares.
what?  no.  the rule is that only Catholics who aren't in a state of mortal sin may receive communion.

Oh I know the rule. I can't see how it would be a sin for a Baptist, Buddhist, Muslim to receive communion as it is not a part of their belief system.
Well, believe what you like.  That's why I just said that receiving communion as a non-Catholic is, at the very least, disrespectful. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 16, 2017, 03:10:53 PM
I disagree. Non-catholics take communion in their church, and it's not like the priest asks anyone who is visiting the church to not take the communion. It's sort of disrespectful to just expect everyone to know that they aren't allowed to take the communion, really.
Obviously if you don't know whether or not you're allowed to take communion it's not disrespectful.  And at most Catholic weddings I've been to, the priest will say something to the effect of "receiving Communion is for Catholics only.  non-catholics can come up and receive a blessing or remain seated.

@ Mommagooch -- no.  Communion is for Catholics only.

You mean in the catholic church right?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 03:11:15 PM
What's a good/interesting resource to learn more about the bible as a literary source? I'm not real interested on the faith and whatnot, but I often feel ignorant about the literary importance the bible has had on film and popular culture in general.

I feel this way about a lot of classic books/plays, but I might as well start with #1

You could always just read it.

I was hoping for something I could listen to. Also maybe just the highlights with background context or historical perspective

Genesis and Exodus include the stories of Adam and Eve, Noah, and Moses. Jonah is the story of Jonah (got swallowed by a whale). Job is a fun read. It's referenced less, but still referenced quite often. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John tell the story of Jesus. Revelations gets referenced a lot by weird end of the world type people (4 horsemen of the apocalypse, the antichrist, etc.).
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 16, 2017, 03:14:06 PM
this last turn in the conversation makes me really wish there was a christian sect whose core beliefs included mooching free communions off of the catholics.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 16, 2017, 03:15:28 PM
I disagree. Non-catholics take communion in their church, and it's not like the priest asks anyone who is visiting the church to not take the communion. It's sort of disrespectful to just expect everyone to know that they aren't allowed to take the communion, really.
Obviously if you don't know whether or not you're allowed to take communion it's not disrespectful.  And at most Catholic weddings I've been to, the priest will say something to the effect of "receiving Communion is for Catholics only.  non-catholics can come up and receive a blessing or remain seated.

@ Mommagooch -- no.  Communion is for Catholics only.

You mean in the catholic church right?
Yes. But Catholics always steal our food and drink tho at westside family church. :curse: It's not right, man!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: yoga-like_abana on January 16, 2017, 03:16:02 PM
I disagree. Non-catholics take communion in their church, and it's not like the priest asks anyone who is visiting the church to not take the communion. It's sort of disrespectful to just expect everyone to know that they aren't allowed to take the communion, really.
Obviously if you don't know whether or not you're allowed to take communion it's not disrespectful.  And at most Catholic weddings I've been to, the priest will say something to the effect of "receiving Communion is for Catholics only.  non-catholics can come up and receive a blessing or remain seated.

@ Mommagooch -- no.  Communion is for Catholics only.

You mean in the catholic church right?
Yes. But Catholics always still our food and drink tho at westside family church. :curse: It's not right, man!

 :D
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 16, 2017, 03:17:45 PM
Damn. I thought I beat you guys to it.  :bang:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 03:20:26 PM
I disagree. Non-catholics take communion in their church, and it's not like the priest asks anyone who is visiting the church to not take the communion. It's sort of disrespectful to just expect everyone to know that they aren't allowed to take the communion, really.
Obviously if you don't know whether or not you're allowed to take communion it's not disrespectful.  And at most Catholic weddings I've been to, the priest will say something to the effect of "receiving Communion is for Catholics only.  non-catholics can come up and receive a blessing or remain seated.

@ Mommagooch -- no.  Communion is for Catholics only.

You mean in the catholic church right?

Yeah, other Christian churches besides Catholics have communion; so "Communion is for Catholics only" isn't fully correct. Maybe "Communion in a Catholic church is only for Catholics" is correct.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 03:23:34 PM
What's a good/interesting resource to learn more about the bible as a literary source? I'm not real interested on the faith and whatnot, but I often feel ignorant about the literary importance the bible has had on film and popular culture in general.

I feel this way about a lot of classic books/plays, but I might as well start with #1

I find it interesting when people have never even heard of certain well known Bible stories. Like Jesus feeding the masses with the fish & bread. I mean, I am no Bible scholar, but some of these things are like common knowledge.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 16, 2017, 03:26:41 PM
I don't know what that means.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 03:27:40 PM
I don't know what that means.

You mean you don't know the story about how Jesus fed 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 16, 2017, 03:28:00 PM
Common knowledge is something known by most people
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 16, 2017, 03:28:41 PM
Has anyone read the Apocrypha?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Gooch on January 16, 2017, 03:40:28 PM
I don't know what that means.

You mean you don't know the story about how Jesus fed 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish?
Now that is #FakeNews
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 16, 2017, 03:54:09 PM
I find it disrespectful when people don't sit, stand, and kneel at a Catholic wedding. Especially if you are in the wedding party.
What if you don't know wtf is going on with their chants?

I don't know what you mean, but its pretty easy to follow along. Especially if someone held you in high enough esteem to have you be a part of their wedding party.
I'm just joking. I've never been in a catholic wedding, but I have been to some. I don't think Catholics even want you doing the kneel down stuff  either unless you're catholic. They're kinda snobby about who/what can be a part of their special god club.
Literally the only thing you're not allowed to do as a non-Catholic at a Catholic Mass is ingest the Eucharist.

Honest question:  Why?  I mean, if the catholics have an idea of what it means to be close to god, shouldn't they be ok with whoevs doing that even if they aren't picking up the rest?  I mean, closer is closer, even if it isn't as close as you can get.  Right?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CHONGS on January 16, 2017, 03:54:41 PM
I find it disrespectful when people don't sit, stand, and kneel at a Catholic wedding. Especially if you are in the wedding party.
What if you don't know wtf is going on with their chants?

I don't know what you mean, but its pretty easy to follow along. Especially if someone held you in high enough esteem to have you be a part of their wedding party.
I'm just joking. I've never been in a catholic wedding, but I have been to some. I don't think Catholics even want you doing the kneel down stuff  either unless you're catholic. They're kinda snobby about who/what can be a part of their special god club.
Literally the only thing you're not allowed to do as a non-Catholic at a Catholic Mass is ingest the Eucharist.

Honest question:  Why?  I mean, if the catholics have an idea of what it means to be close to god, shouldn't they be ok with whoevs doing that even if they aren't picking up the rest?  I mean, closer is closer, even if it isn't as close as you can get.  Right?
No
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 16, 2017, 03:56:42 PM
Ok.  Weird, but ok. 

All in or nothing?  Seems unJesus'ish, but not my crew, so whatevs. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 16, 2017, 03:56:53 PM
Catholics believe it is actually blood and body of Christ. You must have a pure soul, having gone to confession That's not true of of other religions
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: EMAWican on January 16, 2017, 03:59:16 PM
Communion was always my favorite time growing up when I went to church.  My mom even bought some sparkling grape juice for me because it tasted so good at church.  It never quite tasted as good outside of church tho.

The Blood of Christ
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 16, 2017, 04:00:39 PM
I don't know what that means.

You mean you don't know the story about how Jesus fed 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish?

Nope. Pretty good example of why I'm interested in learning a bit
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 04:02:08 PM
I don't know what that means.

You mean you don't know the story about how Jesus fed 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish?

Nope. Pretty good example of why I'm interested in learning a bit

I like when I tell Gooch Bible stories because he acts like I am telling a story out of a Harry Potter book.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 16, 2017, 04:02:38 PM
Well you are
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 04:03:28 PM
Do you know about how Jonah got swallowed by a whale?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 04:05:27 PM
I disagree. Non-catholics take communion in their church, and it's not like the priest asks anyone who is visiting the church to not take the communion. It's sort of disrespectful to just expect everyone to know that they aren't allowed to take the communion, really.
Obviously if you don't know whether or not you're allowed to take communion it's not disrespectful.  And at most Catholic weddings I've been to, the priest will say something to the effect of "receiving Communion is for Catholics only.  non-catholics can come up and receive a blessing or remain seated.

@ Mommagooch -- no.  Communion is for Catholics only.

You mean in the catholic church right?
Obvs.
Quote
Honest question:  Why?  I mean, if the catholics have an idea of what it means to be close to god, shouldn't they be ok with whoevs doing that even if they aren't picking up the rest?  I mean, closer is closer, even if it isn't as close as you can get.  Right?
Because it's a sacrament that requires an understanding, appreciation, and belief beyond what someone like fanning has when he shows up to his first Christmas mass.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 16, 2017, 04:08:40 PM
Hey man, I've been to several masses.  :shakesfist: Just my first one in Shawnee. Mom grew up Catholic.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Gooch on January 16, 2017, 04:08:47 PM
Do you know about how Jonah got swallowed by a whale?
That was in Pinocchio dummy.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 04:09:51 PM
Hey man, I've been to several masses.  :shakesfist: Just my first one in Shawnee. Mom grew up Catholic.
Just using you as an example, homie.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 16, 2017, 04:10:41 PM
I get it.  :)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 16, 2017, 04:11:42 PM
Do you know about how Jonah got swallowed by a whale?

I have seen Pinocchio
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 04:31:25 PM
Catholics believe it is actually blood and body of Christ. You must have a pure soul, having gone to confession That's not true of of other religions

It absolutely is true of pretty much every other church that serves communion.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 16, 2017, 04:35:02 PM
Catholics believe it is actually blood and body of Christ. You must have a pure soul, having gone to confession That's not true of of other religions

It absolutely is true of pretty much every other church that serves communion.
I thought Catholics were the only ones with confession, though.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 04:36:15 PM
Catholics believe it is actually blood and body of Christ. You must have a pure soul, having gone to confession That's not true of of other religions

It absolutely is true of pretty much every other church that serves communion.
I thought Catholics were the only ones with confession, though.

Yeah, the confession part is unique. The teaching of communion as the body and blood of Christ is not.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CHONGS on January 16, 2017, 04:39:09 PM
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transubstantiation
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 16, 2017, 04:41:00 PM
lots of christian sects practice confession.  it's not unique to catholicism.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 04:42:18 PM
Catholics believe it is actually blood and body of Christ. You must have a pure soul, having gone to confession That's not true of of other religions

It absolutely is true of pretty much every other church that serves communion.
I thought Catholics were the only ones with confession, though.

Yeah, the confession part is unique. The teaching of communion as the body and blood of Christ is not.
This would be news to me.  Do you have any kind of source to back this up?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 04:43:33 PM
Catholics believe it is actually blood and body of Christ. You must have a pure soul, having gone to confession That's not true of of other religions

It absolutely is true of pretty much every other church that serves communion.
I thought Catholics were the only ones with confession, though.

Yeah, the confession part is unique. The teaching of communion as the body and blood of Christ is not.
This would be news to me.  Do you have any kind of source to back this up?

Just attending church growing up, going to a class to get baptized, listening to the preacher at the beginning of communion, etc.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 04:47:05 PM
Every church I've ever attended has referred to communion as the "body of Christ" right before the communion. The only real differences are that some pass trays with stale bread and grape juice or wine around the pews, and some have you get in line to take the communion at the front.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 16, 2017, 04:47:36 PM
Catholics believe it is actually blood and body of Christ. You must have a pure soul, having gone to confession That's not true of of other religions

It absolutely is true of pretty much every other church that serves communion.
I thought Catholics were the only ones with confession, though.

Yeah, the confession part is unique. The teaching of communion as the body and blood of Christ is not.
Did not know that. Thank you.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 04:48:58 PM
I think you should've listened harder unless you're eastern orthodox.

From my understanding, protestants' communion is a symbolic thing wherein they receive a wafer and grape juice to symbolically represent Jesus' sacrifice, the last supper, etc.

Whereas Catholics believe that they are consuming the actual flesh and blood of Christ.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 16, 2017, 04:50:39 PM
Well, at the last supper, Christ referenced the bread as his body and the wine as his blood. So symbolically representing the last supper is the same thing. Unless you literally mean you think you are eating skin instead of bread or something.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 16, 2017, 04:52:12 PM
I thought cannibalism is a sin
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 04:52:52 PM
So like the Catholic church at the Vatican has a room that they have been keeping Jesus' body in and they just send out tiny parts of it to each church?

I guess it doesn't get all used up because they use the same magic as with the fish and loaves of bread?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: DQ12 on January 16, 2017, 04:53:26 PM
Well, at the last supper, Christ referenced the bread as his body and the wine as his blood. So symbolically representing the last supper is the same thing. Unless you literally mean you think you are eating skin instead of bread or something.
I'm definitely no theologian so I don't want to split hairs too thin here, but it's laid out in the wiki link Chingon posted re. transubstantiation. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 16, 2017, 04:55:48 PM
Oh it is more like when Jesus turned water into wine. One second it was water then suddenly it was wine.

So one second it is a wafer and then suddenly it is a piece of a 2000 years dead guy.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 16, 2017, 05:01:53 PM
one second it is a wafer and then suddenly it is a piece of a 2000 years dead guy.

i think it's his living body.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: mocat on January 16, 2017, 05:05:39 PM
From my understanding, protestants' communion is a symbolic thing wherein they receive a wafer and grape juice to symbolically represent Jesus' sacrifice, the last supper, etc.

Whereas Catholics believe that they are consuming the actual flesh and blood of Christ.

this is accurate from my experience. although sometimes it's bread that you rip off and dip into wine
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 16, 2017, 05:10:59 PM
From my understanding, protestants' communion is a symbolic thing wherein they receive a wafer and grape juice to symbolically represent Jesus' sacrifice, the last supper, etc.

Whereas Catholics believe that they are consuming the actual flesh and blood of Christ.

this is accurate from my experience. although sometimes it's bread that you rip off and dip into wine

not all of them.  methodists, for example, believe in the real presence of christ within the food.  the food isn't transformed, but neither is it symbolic.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Asteriskhead on January 16, 2017, 05:48:28 PM
I think you should've listened harder unless you're eastern orthodox.

From my understanding, protestants' communion is a symbolic thing wherein they receive a wafer and grape juice to symbolically represent Jesus' sacrifice, the last supper, etc.

Whereas Catholics believe that they are consuming the actual flesh and blood of Christ.

I was raised Methodist. Every church I attended used the juice and bread as a symbol. I don't know every protestant's experience tho.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Asteriskhead on January 16, 2017, 05:51:23 PM
lib, I have a few bibles from my church going days, if you would like to borrow one. I'd say the four books of the gospel are fairly important to read, regardless of whatever bias you have going into it.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: mocat on January 16, 2017, 05:57:48 PM
yeah Jesus said a lot of awesome stuff
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: bucket on January 16, 2017, 06:12:06 PM
Michael Bay should make a movie, "Revelations." I would watch that.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Asteriskhead on January 16, 2017, 07:09:06 PM
yeah Jesus said a lot of awesome stuff

He is credited with many great things.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: wetwillie on January 16, 2017, 09:10:28 PM
If you want to read a book that reads like sys wrote it then Job is your man.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 07:57:11 AM
I've read the King James (alpha Protestant bible version fwiw) cover to cover multiple times. AMA.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 07:59:29 AM
Noah. If you don't read a lot of bible pages and junk you'd assume he was a pretty major character in the Bible amarite? Nah, he only gets a few pages. His story is just one of the headline grabbers to get your attention so the church flaunts it like some hot POA.
Title: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:00:48 AM
David. He's a good guy in the Bible. But he does tons of stuff that doesn't seem like good guy stuff. That's just one example, tons of the "good guys" in the Bible are awful pieces of trash.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:02:18 AM
Jesus. One day he's saying give to Caesar what is Caesars and the next he's losing his crap manic style and flipping over tax collector tables and whipping people. Bi-polar?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:03:30 AM
Also, booze. It's involved in tons of stuff. Jesus makes it for people to get blackout when they are so blasted they can't even go get more. Pretty solid endorsement for booze=good imo.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:05:10 AM
You know what's a great story in the Bible that gets very little press? When the demon is inside the person and it gets cast out of them and put into an entire herd of pigs and the pigs go bonkers and suicide off a cliff. WTF Bible. Where did that come from?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:05:48 AM
Also, booze. It's involved in tons of stuff. Jesus makes it for people to get blackout when they are so blasted they can't even go get more. Pretty solid endorsement for booze=good imo.

Except one time it's used by a chick so she can do sex with her dad. That was a lowlight.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:09:20 AM
Revelations. Nobody even knows who wrote it. So like this obvious bad boomer trip written by some mystery dude gets allowed in?
Title: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:09:44 AM
Confession: I usually skip all the poetry books.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:12:41 AM
That part where it starts going through the family tree of the dude and you realize all of his ancestors lived to be like 500 years old...lol ok
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 08:13:36 AM
Confession: I usually skip all the poetry books.

I think only preachers and priests read that crap.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 17, 2017, 08:24:15 AM
Little more vague than I was thinking
Title: The Bible
Post by: Tobias on January 17, 2017, 08:27:36 AM
guess i dont need the audiobook anymore, p good recap
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 08:30:36 AM
Lib, you do know about Jesus walking on water and raising Lazarus from the dead, right?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 08:35:26 AM
The bible has a story where a bunch of kids mock some old man, calling him "bald head". So the old dude curses them in the name of god and 2 she-bears come out and maul 42 of them.

Quote
2 Kings 2:23-24King James Version (KJV)

23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 17, 2017, 08:35:42 AM
Lib, you do know about Jesus walking on water and raising Lazarus from the dead, right?

I've heard about it, but don't really know the details
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:44:18 AM
Lib, you do know about Jesus walking on water and raising Lazarus from the dead, right?

I've heard about it, but don't really know the details

That's about it actually.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 08:45:23 AM
Yeah, most of the stories in the bible are about 2 lines long.
Title: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 08:49:48 AM
You watch some of those Bible movies? Mostly filled in gaps between a couple WTF things (turn stick into snake, rains frogs, make the sea split in two....just fill in the rest around that)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 08:50:20 AM
Here's a great song to help you understand the Lazarus story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvAqvr8_TP8


Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 17, 2017, 10:09:25 AM
@lib you should check out:

A Child's First Bible https://www.amazon.com/dp/0842331743/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_SfKFybKZHX8GX

My son really likes it and there is a bunch of crazy crap in there that I've never heard of and am inspired to learn about eventually.

Really leaves more questions than answers, tho.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 17, 2017, 12:29:59 PM
I thought cannibalism is a sin

Only if you're Jewish.  We went over this already.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 17, 2017, 12:31:22 PM
that she-bear story is great.  you never know when god's going to go apeshit for some little thing that he normally lets slide.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 17, 2017, 12:37:59 PM
And to clear up the Catholic communion thing, some churches practice "open" communion and some practice "closed" communion, which means they only want members of the faith participating.  That is because they see it as having a specific meaning and that if you do not share that significance then you should not participate.  Catholic communion is very much closed because their beliefs are among the most extreme: that once the rite is performed then the bread and wine become the flesh and blood of Jesus, which takes Jesus's words literally while most other Christians believe they were meant figuratively.

As you can imagine, this is about as sensitive as it gets with Catholics, who don't want to see people consuming their savior without a sincere belief in what they are doing.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 17, 2017, 12:39:35 PM
that she-bear story is great.  you never know when god's going to go apeshit for some little thing that he normally lets slide.

I've heard an interpretation that this story is intended to show that (Elisha or Elijah, I forget) did not realize how much power he had been given at this point.
Title: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 12:43:17 PM
Good way for god to teach him that lesson by having one or more rough ridin' grizzleys maul exactly 42 children.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 12:44:44 PM
That'll teach this bald crap
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 12:45:40 PM
Also the more famous story where god makes the dad almost murder his son to prove he loves him. What a great god. Didn't even make him follow through!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 17, 2017, 12:50:07 PM
I made an mostly uninformed choice, when it was mine to make, and I am feeling pretty good about it, you guys.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 01:09:12 PM
that she-bear story is great.  you never know when god's going to go apeshit for some little thing that he normally lets slide.

I like to think it's how Baylor decided on their mascot.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 01:16:55 PM
Also the more famous story where god makes the dad almost murder his son to prove he loves him. What a great god. Didn't even make him follow through!

Oh yeah that's a classic.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 01:21:42 PM
You know why women have to have a painful childbirth, right? Because Eve ate an apple. If it wasn't for Eve being so stupid and selfish, babies would just fly out of vages with ease.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: mocat on January 17, 2017, 01:24:05 PM
Jesus. One day he's saying give to Caesar what is Caesars and the next he's losing his crap manic style and flipping over tax collector tables and whipping people. Bi-polar?

he flipped over people's tables who were selling stuff inside the temple. never did anything negative re: tax or tax collectors iirc
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 01:25:24 PM
You know why women have to have a painful childbirth, right? Because Eve ate an apple. If it wasn't for Eve being so stupid and selfish, babies would just fly out of vages with ease.

God told her not to eat that apple. Don't act like all she did was eat an apple.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 01:25:31 PM
iirc it was money changers? May have to revisit to confirm (not irl)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 17, 2017, 01:26:27 PM
No doubt it was dealing with the charge to send money to Palestine, or something.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 01:27:15 PM
Strong guy who was strong from magic hair but some broad cut it and then he was pud. He killed like a thousand dudes with the jaw bone of an irl ass iirc. Pretty brutal weapon.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 01:28:19 PM
Can anyone tell me how two people (Adam & Eve) populated the world without any incest involved?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 01:28:36 PM
Like Hercules but not fake (fake)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Spracne on January 17, 2017, 01:29:23 PM
The guy who rode around on his ass and would repeatedly beat his ass for no good reason so god gave his ass the power to speak and his ass asked him why the guy beat him so, and the guy felt super guilty.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 01:30:06 PM
Can anyone tell me how two people (Adam & Eve) populated the world without any incest involved?

Do the math m.g.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 01:30:34 PM
Strong guy who was strong from magic hair but some broad cut it and then he was pud. He killed like a thousand dudes with the jaw bone of an irl ass iirc. Pretty brutal weapon.

Yeah, but after he became pud, the evil dudes chained him up to 2 pillars and he prayed to god for the strength to kill himself by pulling the building down on top of him. God granted him that strength, even though suicide is a sin.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 01:33:00 PM
Devil and Jesus go on an irl vision quest to the desert. Buddy comedy movie ft. James Franco and that guy who I can't remember his name but is in those movies with him all the time.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: _33 on January 17, 2017, 01:36:20 PM
Revelations. Nobody even knows who wrote it. So like this obvious bad boomer trip written by some mystery dude gets allowed in?

Well, the Apostle John wrote Revelation, which is sometimes titled as "The Revelation of John".  You might be thinking of Hebrews?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 01:37:44 PM
Revelations. Nobody even knows who wrote it. So like this obvious bad boomer trip written by some mystery dude gets allowed in?

Well, the Apostle John wrote Revelation, which is sometimes titled as "The Revelation of John".  You might be thinking of Hebrews?

Wrong
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 01:37:58 PM
Can anyone tell me how two people (Adam & Eve) populated the world without any incest involved?

Do the math m.g.

So incest was ok back then?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 01:38:21 PM
Then there is the story of Job, where God and Satan catch each other at the urinal and bet each other $1 that Job wouldn't be so high and mighty if he lost his family, health, and livelihood. Job gets pretty pissed off, but never quite breaks. God is pleased that he won the $1 bet, so he blesses Job with new children who were better than the ones he lost earlier.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 17, 2017, 01:38:26 PM
Lots of rules have changed
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 01:38:54 PM
Devil and Jesus go on an irl vision quest to the desert. Buddy comedy movie ft. James Franco and that guy who I can't remember his name but is in those movies with him all the time.

Is Seth Rogen Jesus or the devil?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: _33 on January 17, 2017, 01:39:31 PM
Revelations. Nobody even knows who wrote it. So like this obvious bad boomer trip written by some mystery dude gets allowed in?

Well, the Apostle John wrote Revelation, which is sometimes titled as "The Revelation of John".  You might be thinking of Hebrews?

Wrong

Well I'm pretty sure though.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 17, 2017, 01:40:20 PM
Can anyone tell me how two people (Adam & Eve) populated the world without any incest involved?

Do the math m.g.

So incest was ok back then?

After eating the apple, I think we can all agree that something like incest isn't that big of a deal. 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 01:40:28 PM
How about those three guys who got thrown into a furnace and nothing happened to them.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 17, 2017, 01:41:06 PM
Devil and Jesus go on an irl vision quest to the desert. Buddy comedy movie ft. James Franco and that guy who I can't remember his name but is in those movies with him all the time.

Is Seth Rogen Jesus or the devil?

No way Franco can play anything but the Devil, imo.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Stevesie60 on January 17, 2017, 01:41:44 PM
Can anyone tell me how two people (Adam & Eve) populated the world without any incest involved?

The theory is that since they were genetically perfect that they wouldn't have created dumb-dumbs by breeding, it would have taken a while (generations) for that to happen.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Stevesie60 on January 17, 2017, 01:46:01 PM
Can anyone tell me how two people (Adam & Eve) populated the world without any incest involved?

The theory is that since they were genetically perfect that they wouldn't have created dumb-dumbs by breeding, it would have taken a while (generations) for that to happen.

I think it's of note that I'm not a Christian. But there are plenty of reasons more condemning of that religion than this.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 01:46:57 PM
Can anyone tell me how two people (Adam & Eve) populated the world without any incest involved?

Do the math m.g.

So incest was ok back then?
Incest was practiced for a very long time.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 01:48:06 PM
So apparently God didn't have a problem with incest until he gave Moses a list of rules on some stone tablets.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 01:48:09 PM
And stevesie is correct. Incest doesn't equal physical and mental defects.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 01:48:37 PM
Incest is a commandment?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Stevesie60 on January 17, 2017, 01:51:06 PM
That's not a commandment.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 01:52:36 PM
Didn't think so. I went and checked as I am a bit rusty. I'm pretty outlawing incest is a fairly modern thing. I'll look it up.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 01:55:52 PM
Yeah, I don't think incest is condemned anywhere in the bible. I could be wrong, though.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 01:57:28 PM
Incest was not in the Ten Commandments. It was on the third table that Moses dropped.  :lol:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Moses
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 02:00:15 PM
Didn't think so. I went and checked as I am a bit rusty. I'm pretty outlawing incest is a fairly modern thing. I'll look it up.

Leviticus 20:11-21
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 17, 2017, 02:00:56 PM
This is all so confusing, god seems to change its mind a lot
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 02:02:04 PM
I'm driving and on TT, can someone post the scripture?

Also lol there was a 3rd dropped tablet? Wtf?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 02:02:44 PM
Leviticus also says you shouldn't eat shellfish so maybe when shellfish became ok, so did incest.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 02:04:00 PM
Leviticus is the most batshit crazy book of the bible, really.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 02:04:11 PM
Confusing yes, but I don't think the flaws of the Bible discredit a Christian God. Man is corrupt, man is stupid, man wrote and edited the book.

I'll know the truth when I die.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 02:05:30 PM
Didn't think so. I went and checked as I am a bit rusty. I'm pretty outlawing incest is a fairly modern thing. I'll look it up.

Leviticus 20:11-21

17 And if a man shall take his sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it is a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister's nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.

18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

19 And thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister, nor of thy father's sister: for he uncovereth his near kin: they shall bear their iniquity.


Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 02:07:01 PM
I'm driving and on TT, can someone post the scripture?

Also lol there was a 3rd dropped tablet? Wtf?

He dropped 2 tablets. He had the 10 commandments on them and when he got back down off the mountain he saw all of his followers partying and he was so pissed off that he wasn't invited that he threw the tablets in disgust. Then he had to climb back up the mountain and make 2 more. Everyone at the party knew to cool it off when they saw Moses coming down the mountain the next time.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 02:08:23 PM
Also lol there was a 3rd dropped tablet? Wtf?

Pretty well documented.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I48hr8HhDv0
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 02:10:06 PM
Didn't think so. I went and checked as I am a bit rusty. I'm pretty outlawing incest is a fairly modern thing. I'll look it up.

Leviticus 20:11-21

17 And if a man shall take his sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it is a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister's nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.

18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

19 And thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister, nor of thy father's sister: for he uncovereth his near kin: they shall bear their iniquity.
So just a simple social taboo.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 02:10:41 PM
Learning a lot I'm here. Thank you.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 02:10:59 PM
It sounds like over the clothes stuff is ok, though.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 17, 2017, 02:11:51 PM
I'm driving and on TT, can someone post the scripture?

Also lol there was a 3rd dropped tablet? Wtf?

He dropped 2 tablets. He had the 10 commandments on them and when he got back down off the mountain he saw all of his followers partying and he was so pissed off that he wasn't invited that he threw the tablets in disgust. Then he had to climb back up the mountain and make 2 more. Everyone at the party knew to cool it off when they saw Moses coming down the mountain the next time.
Those assholes :shakesfist:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 02:17:20 PM
I'd like to see someone put their baby in a basket on the river nowadays and not get CPS called on them.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 02:18:26 PM
pussification of america
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 17, 2017, 02:27:56 PM
The Bible has a rule on period sex?  :bwpopcorn:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 17, 2017, 02:32:43 PM
i'm no lawyer, but it sounds like taking a sister was ok as long as the dude didn't see his sister's nakedness.  so they just had stay clothed or wear blindfolds or something for the first generation and after that there are cousins and the like which were fair game for sighted rough ridin'.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: mocat on January 17, 2017, 02:46:52 PM
talk about incest for like 5 minutes and stevesie shows up out of nowhere, wow
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 02:53:35 PM
i'm no lawyer, but it sounds like taking a sister was ok as long as the dude didn't see his sister's nakedness.  so they just had stay clothed or wear blindfolds or something for the first generation and after that there are cousins and the like which were fair game for sighted rough ridin'.

Some versions translate that as marrying and having sex instead of "seeing nakedness"; so I am not sure.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 02:53:57 PM
The Bible has a rule on period sex?  :bwpopcorn:

Oh yeah, no period sex, obv.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 02:59:39 PM
i'm no lawyer, but it sounds like taking a sister was ok as long as the dude didn't see his sister's nakedness.  so they just had stay clothed or wear blindfolds or something for the first generation and after that there are cousins and the like which were fair game for sighted rough ridin'.

Is this at all related to the Jews that only can have sex through a hole in a sheet????
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Asteriskhead on January 17, 2017, 03:04:46 PM
talk about incest for like 5 minutes and stevesie shows up out of nowhere, wow

yea, that is news of the day, folks.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 17, 2017, 03:08:04 PM
Just watched that curb episode last week
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CHONGS on January 17, 2017, 03:42:35 PM
Who said god stopped with eve?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 17, 2017, 03:54:53 PM
The bald guy who turns beast master and then child killer is a great story
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 17, 2017, 04:12:03 PM
mrs. gooch, i think god is a say what you mean and mean what you say kind of guy.  if he wanted no rough ridin' he would have said so in plain english.  like with that bear example it was no calling people bald, oh you kids can't listen? boom, let's see if a she-bear will teach you some manners.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 17, 2017, 04:13:43 PM
One of the prevailing themes throughout the old testament is that God just DNGAF about children. No time for their bullshit.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 17, 2017, 04:22:49 PM
Spare the bear, spoil the child.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 8manpick on January 17, 2017, 04:53:42 PM
Sucks that after Adam and Eve spent all that time creating incest breeders, that Noah and his wife had to do the same thing again later.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: OK_Cat on January 17, 2017, 04:54:24 PM
God sounds like a perv who is just into incest


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 17, 2017, 06:50:52 PM
I think Noah's sons got to bring their wives onto the ark; so it was only cousin incest, not sibling incest.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: wetwillie on January 17, 2017, 07:01:25 PM
Sucks that after Adam and Eve spent all that time creating incest breeders, that Noah and his wife had to do the same thing again later.

Lack of rudimentary bible knowledge, sad....really.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 18, 2017, 10:00:15 AM
I didn't like it when God killed the eldest son of every Egyptian family. That was sad.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 18, 2017, 10:38:58 AM
How about that lady that got turned into a pillar of salt just for looking where God told her not to look (at the burning city of Sodom).
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 18, 2017, 10:45:44 AM
So the Catholic Bible has more books than the Protestant Bible?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Trim on January 18, 2017, 11:56:42 AM
Has there been a book written or movie made that is all the bible's events but with the characters framed differently, i.e. with god as the antagonist that the last few pages of examples seem to indicate he (or she!) should be?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 18, 2017, 12:02:28 PM
Well it doesn't depict the Biblical events, but this movie has the same jerkish God....
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/fd/Oh%2C_God%21_%28movie_poster%29.jpg)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cartierfor3 on January 18, 2017, 12:23:17 PM
What's a good/interesting resource to learn more about the bible as a literary source? I'm not real interested on the faith and whatnot, but I often feel ignorant about the literary importance the bible has had on film and popular culture in general.

I feel this way about a lot of classic books/plays, but I might as well start with #1

You should start with the sermon on the mount. It is the most famous collection of things Jesus said and it has a lot of sayings that are commonly used in literature, movies, TV, etc. Stuff like the love your enemy, turn the other cheek, no one can serve 2 masters, judge not lest ye be judged are all in that portion of the bible. Its Matthew chapters 5, 6, and 7. Biblegateway.com is a good website that you can read it in different translations. Reading it would take maybe 15 minutes.

If you want like an easy overview of famous bible stories like Moses, Noah, David, Abraham, etc etc etc. I bet there's a cliff notes version that you could read and have a basic understanding of the arc of the bible and the most famous parts. If you're interested I could see if there is a condensed reading guide for something like that.

Hope that helps, but I'm still not really sure what you are looking for or like a bible for dummies guide or something?

Go Cats.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 18, 2017, 01:09:28 PM
A lady got pregnant but was a virgin.  Her boyfriend believed this and was totally cool with it.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: wetwillie on January 18, 2017, 01:10:31 PM
A lady got pregnant but was a virgin.  Her boyfriend believed this and was totally cool with it.

"And had in mind to divorce her quietly"
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 18, 2017, 01:12:15 PM
A lady got pregnant but was a virgin.  Her boyfriend believed this and was totally cool with it.

He didn't believe it at first. God had to send an angel to let him know what happened.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 18, 2017, 01:14:07 PM
A lady got pregnant but was a virgin.  Her boyfriend believed this and was totally cool with it.

He didn't believe it at first. God had to send an angel to let him know what happened.

Someone fact check this
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 18, 2017, 01:15:55 PM
A lady got pregnant but was a virgin.  Her boyfriend believed this and was totally cool with it.

He didn't believe it at first. God had to send an angel to let him know what happened.

Someone fact check this

Do you think he really believed her or maybe he just didn't want her to get stoned to death?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 18, 2017, 01:17:57 PM
18 This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. 19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. 25 But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 18, 2017, 01:20:05 PM
so, he was good with the fact that she was preg but not by him.  I mean, believed the angel, but diidn't want to follow through on the name?  That seems kinda WTFy.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 18, 2017, 01:21:25 PM
1. Why has Mary & Joseph not yet had sex if they were already married?
2. What kind of pregnancy tests did they use back then? How did they know Mary was pregnant?
3. Joseph didn't want to disgrace Mary....so when did they tell the world that Joseph was not Jesus' father?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 18, 2017, 01:22:41 PM
but diidn't want to follow through on the name? 

He named him Jesus like the angel said....
“Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 18, 2017, 01:25:07 PM
Immanuel in RATM's post, tho

WTF is going on here?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 18, 2017, 01:27:13 PM
Immanuel in RATM's post, tho

WTF is going on here?

The angel said to name him Jesus, and that they would call him Immanuel, which means "God with us." I think that means that the angel was telling him that his son would be worshiped by the people.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 18, 2017, 01:30:32 PM
Immanuel in RATM's post, tho

WTF is going on here?

The angel said to name him Jesus, and that they would call him Immanuel, which means "God with us." I think that means that the angel was telling him that his son would be worshiped by the people.

The angle was reminding Joseph of a prophecy which said there would be a virgin birth and the people would call that son "God with us"; not that should be his literal name.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 18, 2017, 09:39:13 PM
Apparently people can't even agree whether or not Mary and Joseph were already married when he found out she was pregnant.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: everyone shut up on January 18, 2017, 10:31:41 PM
would've made a great maury povich episode, tho
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: wetwillie on January 18, 2017, 10:55:11 PM
would've made a great maury povich episode, tho

"You are NOT the father!"
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: puniraptor on January 18, 2017, 11:02:43 PM
cucked by an angel
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Tobias on January 18, 2017, 11:04:55 PM
omg :lol:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 18, 2017, 11:05:49 PM
 :Wha:
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Kat Kid on January 18, 2017, 11:18:38 PM
I have the Book of Genesis comic version by Robert Crumb and it is by far the weirdest book I own.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 19, 2017, 07:54:08 AM
I guess Catholics believe that Mary took a vow of virginity and stayed a virgin her whole life even though the Bible says that Jesus had brothers and sisters whose mother was Mary. So the Pope was like, "No that was a different Mary." What?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 19, 2017, 07:59:29 AM
I guess Catholics believe that Mary took a vow of virginity and stayed a virgin her whole life even though the Bible says that Jesus had brothers and sisters whose mother was Mary. So the Pope was like, "No that was a different Mary." What?

I have never heard of any kind of a vow. Catholics do (unnecessarily) believe Jesus had no brothers and sisters despite James being identified as "the brother of Jesus." Of course, calling a follower of Jesus a brother does not necessarily suggest a blood relationship. I've also heard the same word could be translated into something like nephew or cousin but have no idea if that's true.

I swear, this thread is turning into big time #fakenews.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 19, 2017, 10:36:00 AM
I guess Catholics believe that Mary took a vow of virginity and stayed a virgin her whole life even though the Bible says that Jesus had brothers and sisters whose mother was Mary. So the Pope was like, "No that was a different Mary." What?

I have never heard of any kind of a vow. Catholics do (unnecessarily) believe Jesus had no brothers and sisters despite James being identified as "the brother of Jesus." Of course, calling a follower of Jesus a brother does not necessarily suggest a blood relationship. I've also heard the same word could be translated into something like nephew or cousin but have no idea if that's true.

I swear, this thread is turning into big time #fakenews.

There is a ton of stuff in the Bible that looks fake newsy
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 19, 2017, 11:06:03 AM
The "proof" of her vow was that when the angel told her she was going to have a baby she asked how this could happen. If she had planned to have sex with Joseph (since they were married), she wouldn't have had to ask how she could get pregnant.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 19, 2017, 11:12:33 AM
So he married her but she had told him no sex?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 19, 2017, 11:27:26 AM
So he married her but she had told him no sex?

Right. This leads to even more confusion because now they haven't consummated their marriage. So even though the Bible says they were "betrothed" when she got pregnant; it is not clear whether that means married or engaged. The Hebrew word for betrothed basically means married but before consummation.

So if a couple gets married and then goes to their wedding reception, they are said to be betrothed. But you wouldn't only consider them engaged at that point.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 19, 2017, 11:51:06 AM
I bet they did at least hand stuff
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 19, 2017, 11:55:49 AM
Joe really got screwed in this deal, imo
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 19, 2017, 12:11:04 PM
Not really. He was just a simple man (Deftones version) of no great feat and his name will live on forever. Immortality.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 19, 2017, 12:13:58 PM
I don't think he signed up for a life of celibacy, though.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: everyone shut up on January 19, 2017, 12:14:37 PM
did they have decent lotion 2000 years ago?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 19, 2017, 12:15:10 PM
did they have decent lotion 2000 years ago?

Probably some kind of oil.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on January 19, 2017, 12:18:07 PM
Probably didn't do mouth stuff tho
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 19, 2017, 12:21:10 PM
Cucked by the hand of God.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 19, 2017, 12:23:09 PM
I don't think he signed up for a life of celibacy, though.
I don't think so either. I'm sure they boned a lot or he raped her a lot. Whatever was permissible at that time.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: everyone shut up on January 19, 2017, 12:26:27 PM
side chick
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: The Big Train on January 19, 2017, 12:32:46 PM
This is turning into quite the scandal
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 19, 2017, 12:35:49 PM
Revelations. Nobody even knows who wrote it. So like this obvious bad boomer trip written by some mystery dude gets allowed in?

Well, the Apostle John wrote Revelation, which is sometimes titled as "The Revelation of John".  You might be thinking of Hebrews?

Wrong

Well I'm pretty sure though.

Wrong
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 19, 2017, 12:37:54 PM
God wrote Revelations. Some other dude just put it on paper for him.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: SdK on January 19, 2017, 01:59:17 PM
Sounds about right
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 19, 2017, 02:02:48 PM
Do you guys think that Jesus banged Mary Magdalene?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: CNS on January 19, 2017, 02:07:13 PM
probably.  Makes more sense than not.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Gooch on January 19, 2017, 02:38:52 PM
Do you guys think that Jesus banged Mary Magdalene?
Well she was a whore. <---- fact check that
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 19, 2017, 02:43:53 PM
Do you guys think that Jesus banged Mary Magdalene?
Well she was a whore. <---- fact check that

There is no evidence to support this. She was just a Jesus groupie.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 19, 2017, 02:56:13 PM
If you're basing what is true and not true in the Bible based on evidence you aren't going to have much Bible left. Like the entire book of exodus historically did not happen.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Trim on January 19, 2017, 03:14:12 PM
I remember liking the jericho story involving a wall or fortress. But that there was a wall, fortress, etc. is the extent of what I remember from the story.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 19, 2017, 03:15:27 PM
If you're basing what is true and not true in the Bible based on evidence you aren't going to have much Bible left. Like the entire book of exodus historically did not happen.

What I mean is that there is nothing even in the Bible that says Mary Magdalene was a whore/prostitute.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 19, 2017, 03:15:58 PM
I remember liking the jericho story involving a wall or fortress. But that there was a wall, fortress, etc. is the extent of what I remember from the story.

I think it came crumbling down......
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Asteriskhead on January 19, 2017, 04:02:23 PM
Do you guys think that Jesus banged Mary Magdalene?
Well she was a whore. <---- fact check that

There is no evidence to support this. She was just a Jesus groupie.

the preferred nomenclature is muse.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: everyone shut up on January 19, 2017, 04:23:54 PM
i bet 'ol jesus had his pick of the church hotties. hey girl, see that huge lake? just turned it to wine. party!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: steve dave on January 19, 2017, 04:40:07 PM
According to the Bible Jesus loved getting people blackout 1st
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 19, 2017, 07:09:50 PM
If you're basing what is true and not true in the Bible based on evidence you aren't going to have much Bible left. Like the entire book of exodus historically did not happen.

What I mean is that there is nothing even in the Bible that says Mary Magdalene was a whore/prostitute.

True. People point to other clues in the text, but this is mostly just a tradition.

We have serious problems confirming the truth of any ancient text, btw.  Although it is also true that outside of the text of the Bible, we would have little reason to believe a lot of the things in the OT.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Emo EMAW on January 19, 2017, 09:46:07 PM
 So this question isn't specific to the BIble, but like what is the earliest piece of written history? 
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: puniraptor on January 19, 2017, 09:50:39 PM
So this question isn't specific to the BIble, but like what is the earliest piece of written history?

fascinating Wikipedia article ticket complete

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historiography#The_history_of_written_history (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historiography#The_history_of_written_history)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: puniraptor on January 19, 2017, 09:56:54 PM
So this question isn't specific to the BIble, but like what is the earliest piece of written history?

fascinating Wikipedia article ticket complete

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historiography#The_history_of_written_history (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historiography#The_history_of_written_history)

jk apparently that article actually sucks. I just liked the link title.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: puniraptor on January 19, 2017, 09:58:08 PM
So this question isn't specific to the BIble, but like what is the earliest piece of written history?

fascinating Wikipedia article ticket complete

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historiography#The_history_of_written_history (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historiography#The_history_of_written_history)

jk apparently that article actually sucks. I just liked the link title.

maybe better

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recorded_history (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recorded_history)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cartierfor3 on January 20, 2017, 01:52:11 PM
Franklin Graham commented before praying for the benediction at the inaguration that it was raining, and rain is a sign of God's blessing in the bible. I recall that not being 100% true.

Genesis 7:

4 Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made.

22 Everything on dry land that had the breath of life in its nostrils died. 23 Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out; people and animals and the creatures that move along the ground and the birds were wiped from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartkid.com%2Fimages%2F124%2Fshock-face-free-cliparts-that-you-can-download-to-you-computer-and-TUyXgF-clipart.jpeg&hash=6cb1d8b6e2373d0d75d3c5a4f3b99ad606fb003c)
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Panjandrum on January 20, 2017, 01:55:26 PM
Franklin Graham commented before praying for the benediction at the inaguration that it was raining, and rain is a sign of God's blessing in the bible. I recall that not being 100% true.

If I believed in such things, I would assume it was our founding fathers crying from Heaven.

But that's just me.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 20, 2017, 02:46:09 PM
So did all the fish and other sea creatures die in the flood? If so, how?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 20, 2017, 02:48:04 PM
So did all the fish and other sea creatures die in the flood? If so, how?

No, it clearly stated creatures with nostrils that walk the ground and birds.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 20, 2017, 02:55:33 PM
it seems pretty unfair to let all the aquatic animals skate after everything they contributed to the wickedness of man.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 20, 2017, 02:58:04 PM
it seems pretty unfair to let all the aquatic animals skate after everything they contributed to the wickedness of man.

Something has to eat all of those land animal carcasses. Noah shouldn't have to step out of the boat and see all of that carnage.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 20, 2017, 03:02:05 PM
So did all the fish and other sea creatures die in the flood? If so, how?

No, it clearly stated creatures with nostrils that walk the ground and birds.

23 Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out; people and animals and the creatures that move along the ground and the birds were wiped from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartkid.com%2Fimages%2F124%2Fshock-face-free-cliparts-that-you-can-download-to-you-computer-and-TUyXgF-clipart.jpeg&hash=6cb1d8b6e2373d0d75d3c5a4f3b99ad606fb003c)

It clearly says animals AND the creatures that move along the ground; not just the land animals.

So, how did Noah preserve 2 of each sea creature? Did he have an aquarium on the ark?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 20, 2017, 03:03:13 PM
They wouldn't have gone on to mention nostrils if they meant sea creatures, Mrs. Gooch. A fish was not an animal to an early man like Noah.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Trim on January 20, 2017, 03:06:02 PM
I remember liking the jericho story involving a wall or fortress. But that there was a wall, fortress, etc. is the extent of what I remember from the story.

I think it came crumbling down......

I just looked it up on wikipedia.  There was an espionage and whore component to the story that I think is what grabbed me.  The middle part is pretty lame.

Quote
Joshua sent spies to Jericho, the first city of Canaan to be taken, and discovered that the land was in fear of Israel and their God. The Israelites marched around the walls once every day for seven days with the priests and the Ark of the Covenant. On the seventh day they marched seven times around the walls, then the priests blew their ram's horns, the Israelites raised a great shout, and the walls of the city fell. Following God's law of herem the Israelites took no slaves or plunder but slaughtered every man, woman and child in Jericho, sparing only Rahab, a Canaanite prostitute who had sheltered the spies, and her family.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 20, 2017, 03:06:52 PM
Wait, so was noah before or after adam and eve?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 20, 2017, 03:08:10 PM
I watched raiders of the lost arc this weekend so that arc of the covenant stuff actually is semi-familiar
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cartierfor3 on January 20, 2017, 03:11:35 PM
Wait, so was noah before or after adam and eve?

after.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 20, 2017, 03:12:52 PM
seals have nostrils, but they aren't creatures on dry land that have the breath of life in them.  god is so obvious with that dry land loophole.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 20, 2017, 03:20:57 PM
seals have nostrils, but they aren't creatures on dry land that have the breath of life in them.  god is so obvious with that dry land loophole.

How long can a seal go without coming up on land to rest?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 20, 2017, 03:24:20 PM
forty days and forty nights.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 20, 2017, 03:26:40 PM
or is that just how long it rained?  they can go however long they had to go.  or maybe longer, afaik, god just tested them that one time.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 20, 2017, 03:27:52 PM
The people who wrote down what God told them to wouldn't have even known what a seal was. God probably just didn't feel like it was worth the time to explain how he didn't actually kill any of the seals and why they were good enough to breathe the air and not die. His point was made.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 20, 2017, 03:33:21 PM
Wait, so was noah before or after adam and eve?

after.

So how are there people now if God genocided all the peeps except noah?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Cartierfor3 on January 20, 2017, 03:34:13 PM
Wait, so was noah before or after adam and eve?

after.

So how are there people now if God genocided all the peeps except noah?

his fam, all his sons and their wives and junk were on board the Ark also.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 20, 2017, 03:34:36 PM
Does Hebrew have a word for seal?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: star seed 7 on January 20, 2017, 03:34:57 PM
Alright, good enough for me!
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 20, 2017, 03:36:19 PM
Also, for all the atheist libtards who believe in evolution, there were probably fewer animal species back in Noah's day.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 20, 2017, 03:38:18 PM
oh, they knew what seals were alright.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 20, 2017, 03:45:04 PM
Also, for all the atheist libtards who believe in evolution, there were probably fewer animal species back in Noah's day.

No, there were way more.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 20, 2017, 03:51:55 PM
Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 20, 2017, 03:53:01 PM
in the water is not on the face, mrs. gooch.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Asteriskhead on January 20, 2017, 03:59:25 PM
I'm fairly certain that none of it is supposed to be taken literally.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on January 20, 2017, 04:13:18 PM
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/the-face-of-the-earth

Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 20, 2017, 04:16:52 PM
that's why nobody uses the collins dictionary.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 20, 2017, 04:18:28 PM
Also, for all the atheist libtards who believe in evolution, there were probably fewer animal species back in Noah's day.

No, there were way more.

Sounds like we have ourselves a creationist here.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Dugout DickStone on January 20, 2017, 04:19:44 PM
so god had/has a law that you have to slaughter women and children if you take over their city?
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: catastrophe on January 20, 2017, 04:20:37 PM
so god had/has a law that you have to slaughter women and children if you take over their city?

Only sometimes.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: sys on January 20, 2017, 04:24:44 PM
only if the women or children are hittites, amorites, canaanites, perizzites, hivites or jebusites.  god hated them.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Trim on January 20, 2017, 04:45:30 PM
only if the women or children are hittites, amorites, canaanites, perizzites, hivites or jebusites.  god hated them.

With an exception for traitorous prostitutes.
Title: Re: The Bible
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 20, 2017, 05:47:24 PM
Also, for all the atheist libtards who believe in evolution, there were probably fewer animal species back in Noah's day.

No, there were way more.

Sounds like we have ourselves a creationist here.

Really it's just someone with no idea how evolution works.