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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: renocat on September 06, 2015, 01:12:52 PM

Title: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: renocat on September 06, 2015, 01:12:52 PM

At mexican before the game and drank gallons of water. The beans have swollen up.  Now I am trying to pass a burrito brick.  I don't want to go excavating with a spoon.  Any secret remedies.

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: DQ12 on September 06, 2015, 02:43:24 PM

had an issue with this in high school once.  4 days.  unbelievably painful. 

bit the bullet (so to speak), and went with a suppository.  it was not a fun experience, but it worked. 

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on September 06, 2015, 02:53:11 PM

Apparently squatting is more conducive to emptying your bowels than the seated position, so maybe try that?

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Cire on September 06, 2015, 02:54:30 PM

Hydrate.  Jog for 20 minutes

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: SdK on September 06, 2015, 03:02:35 PM

Quote from: Mrs. Gooch on September 06, 2015, 02:53:11 PM

Apparently squatting is more conducive to emptying your bowels than the seated position, so maybe try that?

It is. Prune juice and some Marlboro Reds loosen the bowels too.

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: wetwillie on September 06, 2015, 03:16:18 PM

Avacadoes contain 75 percent insoluable fiber.

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: kslim on September 06, 2015, 03:51:52 PM

Cup of coffee and a heater will always do the trick.

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Tobias on September 06, 2015, 03:57:23 PM

give our guy The Flush a call

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Bloodfart on September 06, 2015, 06:31:54 PM

Sorry about the bad genes bro.  T's & P's

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Trogdor on September 06, 2015, 06:38:59 PM

Push

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: star seed 7 on September 06, 2015, 06:41:14 PM

never had this problemo

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: The Big Train on September 06, 2015, 07:42:29 PM

panda from the union keeps me pretty regular

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: renocat on September 06, 2015, 10:05:40 PM

2 mile walk and Marysville water.  A burrito bomb explosion that hurt like hell and likely killed a black squirrel or two, but beautiful relief.   Renosweets had some suggestions that are not printable, something about steel wool, a stick, grease and dynamite.

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Bloodfart on September 07, 2015, 12:38:27 AM

 :On the can:   

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: bones129 on September 07, 2015, 12:57:39 AM

 :dunno:

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Bloodfart on September 07, 2015, 01:02:58 AM

Quote from: bones129 on September 07, 2015, 12:57:39 AM

:dunno:

Inorite?  I'm always 5 days from diarrhea.

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Panjandrum on September 07, 2015, 10:40:38 AM

I got on a kick where I ate Fiber One bars every day for a bit. They were tasty.

I ended up getting drunk while traveling once, and I downed a couple before bed.  The flight the next day was the worst I've ever had.  Once I got home, I was on the toilet for at least an hour.

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: BrokenSky1113 on September 07, 2015, 10:48:32 AM

Drink lots of codine suryp

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Phil Titola on September 07, 2015, 10:54:17 AM

...and combofan season officially ends.  :buh-bye:

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Gooch on September 07, 2015, 11:02:11 AM

Finger your butthole

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: Tobias on September 09, 2015, 12:33:57 AM

any luck with The Flush, @renocat?

Title: Re: Constipation. Help me.
Post by: hemmy on September 09, 2015, 11:08:28 AM

Go to walgreens and buy a bottle of magnesium citrate. It will empty you.