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General Discussion => The New Joe Montgomery Birther Pit => Topic started by: renocat on February 19, 2015, 07:06:44 PM

Title: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 19, 2015, 07:06:44 PM
I would be a mean ass judge.  Two dorks in Reno Co. stole brass vases from graves.  I would make them sleep on a pile of corpses for a year.  Rapist would get a meat cleaver to the wallies.  Name the crime - wnat would your sentence be?
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: wetwillie on February 19, 2015, 07:10:21 PM
what would you do to shoplifters
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 19, 2015, 10:28:08 PM
what would you do to shoplifters
[/quote
Kiss Moochelle Obama.  One month of crapper cleaning duty at Walmart.  2 months standing in front of Kmart with a sign that says I am a cheapass thief while wearing only gruns.  Make them wear for 2 months clothes from the Dollar General bargin bin.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: bones129 on February 19, 2015, 10:30:16 PM
Judge Renocat...what would you do to purse snatchers?
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 19, 2015, 10:39:39 PM
Judge Renocat...what would you do to purse snatchers?
First snap the purse shut on their weasel and let it hang there for five hours for scaring the hell out of women - make sure there is a brick in the purse.   2 months they have carry a sack of dead skunks everywhere.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on February 19, 2015, 10:42:43 PM
stealing a car

(also, great thread renocat)
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 19, 2015, 11:06:19 PM
stealing a car

(also, great thread renocat)
1st sit naked straddling a hot radiator.  2nd Tie an electric wire to their gloryguys that sends a shock everytime someone nearby honks a horn, and make them drive around with a sign that says honk for God.  3rd a 2 yr sentence in a cell with Big Vic the Vasaline Man.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on February 19, 2015, 11:08:33 PM
illegally entering the country to find work
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: wetwillie on February 19, 2015, 11:12:39 PM
Writing a bad check
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on February 19, 2015, 11:13:45 PM
providing booze to a 19 yr old
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: The Big Train on February 19, 2015, 11:19:13 PM
any high level crime:

50 full mass catholic weddings(people they did not know)
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: slobber on February 20, 2015, 06:16:17 AM

any high level crime:

50 full mass catholic weddings(people they did not know)
Thank you. I'd get to celebrate mass an additional 50 times! (If I committed a high level crime)


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Dugout DickStone on February 20, 2015, 09:29:22 AM
speeding
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 20, 2015, 09:35:03 AM
teachers who seduce their students
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: slobber on February 20, 2015, 09:36:16 AM
Under age drinking


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 20, 2015, 09:57:26 AM
providing booze to a 19 yr old
[/quote
Drink 2 gallons of homemade amish wine; they can spit out pieces of manure and straw. 2nd 6 months of post frat party vomit clean up.  3rd sleep 4 nights in a dumpster with homeless winos in the summer.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Institutional Control on February 20, 2015, 10:08:14 AM
Pretty harsh penalty for a crime that shouldn't be a crime.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 20, 2015, 12:20:20 PM
teachers who seduce their students
A man -  locked in a room naked for a month with big bertha with her famed jungle butt, her elder sisters - the Droopers, and ex Rassler Gay Nature boy,  kicked out of teaching, banned from being near kids.
A woman - 5 years in a convent,  stuff her full of sugar for fat butt syndrome,  make her listen to pervet Biden whisper in her ear, and make sign everything Ms. Moelester.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: CHONGS on February 20, 2015, 12:28:35 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.kinja-img.com%2Fgawker-media%2Fimage%2Fupload%2Fs--wXbxQ-qp--%2Fc_fit%2Cfl_progressive%2Cq_80%2Cw_320%2F18r92bqtukzcqjpg.jpg&hash=056f82c59c05f05263baf8f56c5a00f05b76f37b)
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on February 20, 2015, 12:33:19 PM
Peeping tom
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 20, 2015, 07:17:17 PM
Writing a bad check
Since they like bad paper make them wipe with sandpaper or pepper oil soak tp for a year.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 21, 2015, 07:38:32 AM
Peeping tom
Yank their pubic hairs out with pliers and make em smell and onion for 24 hrs.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: The Big Train on February 21, 2015, 04:23:22 PM
 :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: ChiComCat on February 21, 2015, 05:25:48 PM
Well, next time I see a ballot for reno county judge I know who I am going to write in
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on February 21, 2015, 05:26:25 PM
cattle russlin'
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: wetwillie on February 21, 2015, 05:28:56 PM
I think judges get appointed so....
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 21, 2015, 07:12:12 PM
cattle russlin'
Unnatural relations with 25 goats or castration, ride in a full cattle truck across the US.  And clean chicken crap out of barns in Arkansaw for 2 years 12 hrs a day or until you pay for the critters you stole.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 21, 2015, 07:27:42 PM
Unnatural relations with 25 goats (not court-ordered, of course).
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on February 21, 2015, 08:45:13 PM
Sodomy
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 21, 2015, 09:10:17 PM
speeding
This is tough since I am a leadfoot.   10 mph+ - a visit from the Woodson Co sherrif (he will scare the whizz out of you).  20 to 30 you have to ride across America with a wacked out hippy and his three toothed woman and their 5 old farting dogs, then 1 year driving an amish tractor.  More - tie you to a bicycle and the bicycle to a NASCAR car, enjoy the ride.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on February 23, 2015, 01:04:42 PM
Sodomy
If crime occurred on a playground or park - 2 years in a female gorilla cage.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: mocat on February 23, 2015, 04:51:58 PM
I think judges get appointed so....

in the vast majority of US states, no
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: ChiComCat on February 23, 2015, 05:05:02 PM
speeding
This is tough since I am a leadfoot.   10 mph+ - a visit from the Woodson Co sherrif (he will scare the whizz out of you).  20 to 30 you have to ride across America with a wacked out hippy and his three toothed woman and their 5 old farting dogs, then 1 year driving an amish tractor.  More - tie you to a bicycle and the bicycle to a NASCAR car, enjoy the ride.

We're going to need more farting dogs
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on March 06, 2015, 07:41:33 PM
university of CA-Irvine StuCo flag hater nuts.   The American flag should be tattooed to flag poles and when itis salute time, give them a knife when they want the flag removed. Or make them wear diapers  for whining  while walking through a red neck western KS town.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on April 27, 2015, 10:19:27 PM
Baltimore Ghetto Gang Goodie Grabbers and hell raisers.. If I caught you on video rioting, bombing, looting, and cutting fire hoses.  I would get Yitsock Bulldozer from Israel to smash your house, I would fire bomb your car, steal your along and picture of Obama and his obamer cell phone, and slice your hose with a dull knife.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!) on April 27, 2015, 11:19:18 PM
Baltimore is such an unmitigated police state shithole, that they have actually set up cameras in scarier neighborhoods to police the proletariat. This keeps cops safe and a watchful eye on the unwashed masses, in the event there's an outburst
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: GregKSU1027 on April 28, 2015, 07:21:56 AM
Baltimore is such an unmitigated police state shithole, that they have actually set up cameras in scarier neighborhoods to police the proletariat. This keeps cops safe and a watchful eye on the unwashed masses, in the event there's an outburst
Big Brother is always watching.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Mr Bread on April 30, 2015, 10:54:00 AM
I think judges get appointed so....

in the vast majority of US states, no

all federal, which are located in all us states.  bang in your fat face.  also in illinois some are elected and then the elected ones appoint the rest, so both.  kerpow, you fat face again.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Mr Bread on April 30, 2015, 10:55:08 AM
@renocat

two male animals (nonhuman) having gay sex with each other.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Mr Bread on April 30, 2015, 10:56:00 AM
i mean really getting after it. 
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on April 30, 2015, 10:43:09 PM
@renocat

two male animals (nonhuman) having gay sex with each other.
Not sure I would make a critter judge.  Growing up we had a cattle dog who was always humping our yellow tomcat.  The cat would get pissed and scratch the hell out the dog's belly. When the dog was not romancing the cat, he would chase cows and get kicked in the head or you could find he chewing on a cow patty trying to find undigested corn.  Given a dog with active wallies cannot self manipulate himself for a thrill and everyone neutering females that never now come into heat,  I would not be to hard on themfor such an act.   Might consider banning the to the preserve with Benji the bull. Two squirrels - shoot 'em.  Two reptiles - flush.  In reality if this happens some KU professor will get a 2 million dollar federal grant for a study and a medal of valor from Obama.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: BringBackEcoKat on May 04, 2015, 02:52:16 PM
We should go back to the eye for an eye mentality. I once read an article about this sicko that microwaved a baby and I was so upset that he himself didn't get to have such a gruesome fate.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Mr Bread on May 04, 2015, 05:37:33 PM
who rapes the rapists? 
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: BringBackEcoKat on May 05, 2015, 12:18:53 AM
Can't we hire someone for that?
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Mr Bread on May 05, 2015, 12:51:35 PM
i should be more specific.  if a person commits a heterosexual rape then the punishment would be the same assuming no sodomy.  seems unlikely to be a deterrent. 

it's not eye for an eye if a male vaginally rapes a female and that male is then anally raped by a male.  inequitable.  that's like an eye for an eye and some teeth. 
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Spracne on May 05, 2015, 01:08:59 PM
The harm is a violation of ones person, and the harm-causing act is penetration.  Therefore, if you don't penetrate, it don't equate.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Mr Bread on May 05, 2015, 08:19:50 PM
You look like a fool spracne.  The violation is sexual intercourse against one's will.  The one having committed heterosexual rape shall be raped heterosexually.  Anybody knows anything knows that. 

I never had you pegged as one of those hurhurhur good old boy male rape victim of a female rapist deniers.  Disappointing. 
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on May 05, 2015, 08:55:41 PM
i think being a ku fan means you are a denier of all manners of rape
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: BringBackEcoKat on May 08, 2015, 11:01:39 PM
Okay if a man vaginally rapes a woman then, I would feed him viagra and find the most disgusting woman to go to town on him. Is that more fair?
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: john "teach me how to" dougie on May 09, 2015, 09:03:34 AM
 :excited: :Carl:
Okay if a man vaginally rapes a woman then, I would feed him viagra and find the most disgusting woman to go to town on him. Is that more fair?

In baseball, that's called a 'slump buster'. Probably not an effective deterrent.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: slobber on May 28, 2015, 08:54:01 AM

:excited: :Carl:
Okay if a man vaginally rapes a woman then, I would feed him viagra and find the most disgusting woman to go to town on him. Is that more fair?

In baseball, that's called a 'slump buster'. Probably not an effective deterrent.
Blumpkin would have some interesting thoughts on this.


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on June 15, 2015, 06:31:19 PM
Groping, grinding, and hunching at a school dance.  Stick em together with superglue.  Those showing public displays of affection/horniness zap them with a catitle prod.  Give em an electro-weasel
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: slobber on June 16, 2015, 05:33:54 AM
Now you are just making crap up.


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on August 13, 2015, 11:11:01 AM
Liberals whizzing all over everything in San Francisco has caused light poles to corrode and fall over and now they are painting walls with a repellent that makes the whizz splash back on the whizee.  If you piss on a wall you likely don't care if you get a yellow misting.  Put up video cameras and any one caught wall whizzing put a time release clamp on their weasal.  Repeat offenders get dribble port installed.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on August 13, 2015, 11:42:01 AM
How do you know it's only liberals whizzing all over everything
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: renocat on August 13, 2015, 11:45:00 AM
How do you know it's only liberals whizzing all over everything
Conservatives just smile and whizz down their pants, a religious thing - family friendly.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: Asteriskhead on August 13, 2015, 12:37:19 PM
Liberals whizzing all over everything in San Francisco has caused light poles to corrode and fall over and now they are painting walls with a repellent that makes the whizz splash back on the whizee.  If you piss on a wall you likely don't care if you get a yellow misting.  Put up video cameras and any one caught wall whizzing put a time release clamp on their weasal.  Repeat offenders get dribble port installed.

i'd guess that most homeless individuals don't have a political ideology that they identify with.
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: mocat on August 13, 2015, 12:56:25 PM
How do you know it's only liberals whizzing all over everything
Conservatives just smile and whizz down their pants, a religious thing - family friendly.

omg  :lol:
Title: Re: If you were a mean ass judge, what would be your penalties?
Post by: star seed 7 on August 13, 2015, 01:14:12 PM
 :D