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TITLETOWN - A Decade Long Celebration Of The Greatest Achievement In College Athletics History => Kansas State Football => Topic started by: Winters on October 27, 2014, 06:23:39 PM
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Want to make a hilarious joke on the SEC? Want to bitch about them? Post here!
I'll start: http://www.scientificamerican.com/slideshow/southeast-is-the-most-unhealthy-u-s-region-slide-show/
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could this thread be another King Classic? STAY TUNED :Wha:
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Did you hear about the Gator who bought an AM radio?
It took him two weeks to figure out that it worked at night.
zing!
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Auburn and Georgia were playing a game at Georgia. With about two minutes left in the first half, Georgia had the ball with a first down. A Georgia fan sets some firecrackers off. Auburn, thinking it was halftime, ran off the field. Three plays later, Georgia punts.
zing!
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How do you know it's fall in Tennessee?
The leaves begin to fall about the same time as the UT football team!
zing!
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if there's one thing I love, it's a good zinger :lol:
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OK
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Please keep this a thing, Winters. I'm enjoying these
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Not really a joke, but just a factoid.
What happens to Big 12 title contenders when they face an SEC team? They lose.
Am I doing it right?
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Not really a joke, but just a factoid.
What happens to Big 12 title contenders when they face an SEC team? They lose.
Am I doing it right?
You're not doing it right at all. Read the thread title. An, "SEC MASTER JOKE THREAD." You're very bad at telling jokes.
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University of Missouri.
Zing!!!!
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A test to see if you are a true Mississippi State fan
A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just “misunderstood”.
It’s easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You’ve been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
Your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.
You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
zing!
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How many LSU fans does it take to eat an armadillo?
Two. One to do the eating, and one to watch for cars.
zing!
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What do you call a Texas A&M grad with a Big 12 Championship ring?
A thief.
zing!
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What do you get when you cross a Florida fan with a South Carolina fan?
Alligator boots that are across the road!
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What is a Missouri fan's favorite kind of donut?
A Tiger Tail!
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What is an LSU fan's favorite kind of donut?
A Tiger Tail!
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What is an Auburn fan's favorite kind of donut?
A Tiger Tail!
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
SEC fan
Get the eff off my porch you fat disgusting racist smelly weirdo!
ZING
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A Mississippi State fan walks into a bar, plops himself down with tears in his eyes, and asks the bartender for the hardest shot he has. The bartender asks, "what's matter guy?" as he passes him a shot of pure grain alcohol. The Mississippi State fan stares at the shot and weeps, "I just cut a whole crap load of onions and my eyes hurt!". The bartender then asks, "OK, but why do you need the strong drink?". The Mississippi State fans gulps it down, shudders and exclaims "Because I am a terrible alcoholic".
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What kind of jokes do they tell in Poland?
Ole Miss Jokes!
zing!
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What did Jack Cantele do the day after the auburn game?
Tried to hang himself but he couldn't kick the chair out from under him.
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What did Jack Cantele do the day after the auburn game?
Tried to hang himself but he couldn't kick the chair out from under him.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.reactiongifs.com%2Fr%2F2013%2F09%2Faaron-paul-boo-bitch.gif&hash=1588be89336123fcb6947d62d66ded65ad446046)
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Arkansas fan and Oklahoma fan are sitting down to lunch at their job site (bridge repair over a deep ravine). Oklahoma fan opens his lunch box and says: "Oh, man! Burritos again? I told my wife that I absolutely HATE burritos! If I get burritos for lunch tomorrow, I'm going to jump to my death." Arkansas fan opens his lunch box: "Bologna sandwich? crap. My wife knows I hate bologna sandwiches! If I get another bologna sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump to my death."
Tomorrow comes. OU guy opens his lunch box: Burrito. He jumps to his death. Arkansas guy opens his lunch box: Bologna sandwich. He jumps to his death.
At the funeral, the wives of the OU fan and Pig Aggy were sitting next to each other...
OU wife: "I wish I had taken my husband seriously about not packing burritos for his lunch. They are cheap and I thought he secretly loved them."
Ark wife: "My husband has been packing his own lunch for years."
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An elephant meets an Alabama fan in the parking lot of Winn-Dixie. The elephant is eating a five foot high pile of cashews, and the Bama fan walks up to him, with his cart full of sensible and nutritious food purchases. "Hello elephant", the Bama fan greets the pachyderm, "it's funny meeting you here considering the mascot for my favorite football time is an abstract concept given corporeal form in terms of an elephant!". The elephant keeps chewing, but raises his nose as if to say "hold on a minute I am still chewing, but will reply to you soon". The elephant swallows, and says "Hello sir, my name is Qarn of the magical House Greatfoot. I see you have made some wise shopping decisions today and for this I will grant you three wishes!"
The Alabama fan is taken aback, but then for his first wish he says: "I first wish for Alabama to win the next 7 national championships in football". Qarn bellows out "IT IS SO". For his next wish, the Bama fans requests, "For my second wish, I want Auburn to lose every football game for the next seven years!". "IT IS SO", Qarn trumpets and takes in a another trunk full of cashews. "For my third wish, well I want to be the most handsome man in the world", the Alabama fan whispers in Qarn's ear. Qarn lets out a hearty elephantian laugh and says, "OK OK IT WILL BE SO!". Excitedly the Alabama fan pulls out his cell phone fan takes a selfie, but his dismay he looks just as ugly as he did before. "What's the deal Qarn?" he cried, but Qarn just laughs as says, "Oh silly human, I can't grant wishes! I am just an elephant who loves cashews and pulling pranks in parking lots." Devastated the Alabama fan begins weeping uncontrollably. Visibly shaken by this mans sorrow, Qarn realizes the gravity of his trick and runs away.
Time passes and Alabama does indeed win the next seven national championships in football, Auburn loses every game for the next seven years, and the Alabama fan realizes that looks only go so far, and self-confidence is what women actually find most attractive. Qarn lives out the rest of his days in the Birmingham zoo, eating peanuts and remembering that day, that one glorious day when he learned how to talk and found a five foot high pile of cashews in the Winn-Dixie parking lot. Also, he discovered that he could fit three additional friends inside of his Volkswagen, which was important for their raids on peoples refrigerators for peanut butter.
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An elephant meets an Alabama fan in the parking lot of Winn-Dixie. The elephant is eating a five foot high pile of cashews, and the Bama fan walks up to him, with his cart full of sensible and nutritious food purchases. "Hello elephant", the Bama fan greets the pachyderm, "it's funny meeting you here considering the mascot for my favorite football time is an abstract concept given corporeal form in terms of an elephant!". The elephant keeps chewing, but raises his nose as if to say "hold on a minute I am still chewing, but will reply to you soon". The elephant swallows, and says "Hello sir, my name is Qarn of the magical House Greatfoot. I see you have made some wise shopping decisions today and for this I will grant you three wishes!"
The Alabama fan is taken aback, but then for his first wish he says: "I first wish for Alabama to win the next 7 national championships in football". Qarn bellows out "IT IS SO". For his next wish, the Bama fans requests, "For my second wish, I want Auburn to lose every football game for the next seven years!". "IT IS SO", Qarn trumpets and takes in a another trunk full of cashews. "For my third wish, well I want to be the most handsome man in the world", the Alabama fan whispers in Qarn's ear. Qarn lets out a hearty elephantian laugh and says, "OK OK IT WILL BE SO!". Excitedly the Alabama fan pulls out his cell phone fan takes a selfie, but his dismay he looks just as ugly as he did before. "What's the deal Qarn?" he cried, but Qarn just laughs as says, "Oh silly human, I can't grant wishes! I am just an elephant who loves cashews and pulling pranks in parking lots." Devastated the Alabama fan begins weeping uncontrollably. Visibly shaken by this mans sorrow, Qarn realizes the gravity of his trick and runs away.
Time passes and Alabama does indeed win the next seven national championships in football, Auburn loses every game for the next seven years, and the Alabama fan realizes that looks only go so far, and self-confidence is what women actually find most attractive. Qarn lives out the rest of his days in the Birmingham zoo, eating peanuts and remembering that day, that one glorious day when he learned how to talk and found a five foot high pile of cashews in the Winn-Dixie parking lot. Also, he discovered that he could fit three additional friends inside of his Volkswagen, which was important for their raids on peoples refrigerators for peanut butter.
A cautionary tale. :thumbs:
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What did Jack Cantele do the day after the auburn game?
Tried to hang himself but he couldn't kick the chair out from under him.
luked
Guys I just caught wind of some terrible news related to our friend Jack Cantele.
He tried to commit suicide Thursday night after the game.
But he was unable to kick the chair out from under him.
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That's luked from like 1995 Lin elliot
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That's luked from like 1995 Lin elliot
yeah, obviously i :dubious:'d unruly awful post immediately after he did it