goemaw.com

General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: AST on February 07, 2014, 11:37:42 AM

Title: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 11:37:42 AM
customer - mr tramp, can you come look at the pool heater you installed, i think something is wrong


me - why is that


customer - we turned it on last night to heat the pool and it started smoking and now this morning there is smoke coming from the heater and pool


me - that is steam, that happens when you have a 200 degree heater box, an 80 degree pool and 20 degree air temperature


customer - if you could just come out and take a look because something is wrong and we don't want to swim until it gets fixed


me - no problem, i'll be by shortly and that will be $75 for 1 minute of diagnostics


 :Wha:

p.s. i know it is not bottling
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Tobias on February 07, 2014, 11:41:24 AM
paging @KSUBrian :driving:
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: 8manpick on February 07, 2014, 11:44:12 AM
That is fantastic
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: cDubya on February 07, 2014, 11:46:14 AM
I really would have enjoyed the ensuing  :Take the Bait: that would undoubtedly have occured without your disclaimer at the bottom!
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Brock Landers on February 07, 2014, 11:49:32 AM
Hey it's dumbasses like them that you can make some good money off of.

I have a similar story involving cold weather and morons.  Years ago as a young EMAW'r I worked at Dillons (Eastside Super Dillons holla) and sometimes would have to do something random like inflate a helium balloon over in the Floral department later in the evening after the regular Floral chicks had left for the day.  Whenever I would do this in cold weather the customer would come back to the store a couiple of minutes later and this would happen:

Customer:  Hey man this balloon has a leak in it, get me another one and test it out this time.

Me:  Oh haha that's fine, it's cold outside.

Customer:  Blank stare

Me:  Remember chemistry class in high school? Gasses such as helium will do this in cold weather.

Customer:  Blanker stare

Me:  Trust me.  I promise your balloon will go back to normal once you get it inside

Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 11:52:51 AM
I really would have enjoyed the ensuing  :Take the Bait: that would undoubtedly have occured without your disclaimer at the bottom!

oh man I ALMOST HAD YOU and now the bait is spoiled for everyone

Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 07, 2014, 11:53:25 AM
Me- "Hi this is wackycat w/ ....... I saw you had requested some information to futher your education, What has you looking into school?"

Customer- "Go EFF yourself you rough ridin' loser and never call back again!!! :click:"

Me- "Sounds good. Have a nice day!"

 :lol:

EVERY DAY. ALL DAY! :gocho:
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 11:54:44 AM
 :Woot: these are great guys keep them coming
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: ShellShock on February 07, 2014, 11:55:37 AM
In my younger years, I worked at a steak restaurant and had a guy say that he wanted his french fries cooked without throwing them into the "nasty fryer that is a germ pool". Keep in mind that at this place we emptied fryers every other night and the kitchen was actually extremely clean, so I immediately took offense. I then invited him back to the kitchen to have him show me how to do that and he immediately followed saying that "he'll show me". The look on his face (and mine for that matter) when he finally realized how french fries are cooked was priceless. He couldn't have shoved his foot in his mouth any further if he tried.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: mocat on February 07, 2014, 12:12:16 PM
this pretty much sums up every conversation i have

architect: are those columns structural?

me: well, they're columns, so, yes

architect: can we demo them?

me:  :curse:
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on February 07, 2014, 12:17:14 PM
this pretty much sums up every conversation i have

architect: are those columns structural?

me: well, they're columns, so, yes

architect: can we demo them?

me:  :curse:

oh man mocat have I got a great demo column story for you.

an HVAC company installed their stuff in an office building in Atlanta this summer but they really liked the spot where a massive column was so they just took the column out. then the floor collapsed and they were all "wtf floor. whats your deal?! :curse:"
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: mocat on February 07, 2014, 12:22:36 PM
good grief
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on February 07, 2014, 12:37:53 PM
In my younger years, I worked at a steak restaurant and had a guy say that he wanted his french fries cooked without throwing them into the "nasty fryer that is a germ pool". Keep in mind that at this place we emptied fryers every other night and the kitchen was actually extremely clean, so I immediately took offense. I then invited him back to the kitchen to have him show me how to do that and he immediately followed saying that "he'll show me". The look on his face (and mine for that matter) when he finally realized how french fries are cooked was priceless. He couldn't have shoved his foot in his mouth any further if he tried.

How did he think they were cooked?
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: ShellShock on February 07, 2014, 12:46:19 PM
In my younger years, I worked at a steak restaurant and had a guy say that he wanted his french fries cooked without throwing them into the "nasty fryer that is a germ pool". Keep in mind that at this place we emptied fryers every other night and the kitchen was actually extremely clean, so I immediately took offense. I then invited him back to the kitchen to have him show me how to do that and he immediately followed saying that "he'll show me". The look on his face (and mine for that matter) when he finally realized how french fries are cooked was priceless. He couldn't have shoved his foot in his mouth any further if he tried.

How did he think they were cooked?

A combination of baked and grilled I guess?  :confused:

This guy was a real piece of work...in the end, I just threw them in the fryer right in front of him and he just ate them and didn't complain.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: DQ12 on February 07, 2014, 12:51:16 PM
TelaFlora is the absolute worst.  If you want flowers delivered, do not use them.  I had an existential crisis dealing with them last Valentine's Day.  It was so bad that I made a formal complaint to the Better Business Bureau and requested a handwritten apology.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 12:57:36 PM
TelaFlora is the absolute worst.  If you want flowers delivered, do not use them.  I had an existential crisis dealing with them last Valentine's Day.  It was so bad that I made a formal complaint to the Better Business Bureau and requested a handwritten apology.

you are doing this so wrong
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Trim on February 07, 2014, 01:11:17 PM
mind-bottling
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: puniraptor on February 07, 2014, 01:17:35 PM
AST, are you sure you didn't convert that guys pool thingie into a meat smoker by accident?
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Brock Landers on February 07, 2014, 01:18:45 PM
AST, are you sure you didn't convert that guys pool thingie into a meat smoker by accident?

Ha I actually thought of an enormous fondue pot when I first read it.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 01:48:14 PM
AST, are you sure you didn't convert that guys pool thingie into a meat smoker by accident?

i like where your head is at
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Institutional Control on February 07, 2014, 02:04:16 PM
AST, are you sure you didn't convert that guys pool thingie into a meat smoker by accident?

i like where your head is at

That's what she said.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Shooter Jones on February 07, 2014, 02:11:51 PM
Witnessed this exchange a few weeks ago:

Downtown Denver, Wednesday night, a bar does 25 cent wings that actually used to be 15 cents (have to order in increments of 10). So I mean, they're cheap wings, don't expect something amazing, but they're ok. Good for a few beers with the bros for sure.

Two dudes walk in hammered, one around 40-45 yo, the other 25-30. You can tell they are co-workers and the older guy is the mediocre employee that made it to the pinnacle of their career and the younger guy wants to be the older guy in 15 years. They're yelling their convo at each other, the older guy keeps asking the younger guy if some "bitches" are gonna meet up with them or what. Just the worst. Then they order the wings. When they arrive, the older guy eats one and flips out saying it tastes like "beef jerky", he starts demanding his money back ($2.50) or saying they should serve him their chicken tender app. (around $9) on the house. He yells as the bartender walks away, "and you didn't even chill my last shot of Jameson."

After all gets settled, (he got the chicken tenders, btw, no idea what all he paid for or not), and he orders another "chilled shot of Jameson," he starts telling the younger guy this is a learning experience and says, "I know what I want, and I get what I want, you should strive to do the same. Now where are those chicks?"

Was painful to be around.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: EMAWmeister on February 07, 2014, 02:13:45 PM
I worked at the Kansas City Nut Company in the Oak Park Mall in high school. Every customer interaction was full of HUR HUR HURing on their end. 

"I want your fresh roasted chocolate nuts in my mouth   :lol:"

"Sir you're like 40 and have your two young children with you"
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: DQ12 on February 07, 2014, 02:15:09 PM
TelaFlora is the absolute worst.  If you want flowers delivered, do not use them.  I had an existential crisis dealing with them last Valentine's Day.  It was so bad that I made a formal complaint to the Better Business Bureau and requested a handwritten apology.

you are doing this so wrong
Explain.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: lopakman on February 07, 2014, 02:23:10 PM
http://consumerist.com/2006/06/13/the-best-thing-we-have-ever-posted-reader-tries-to-cancel-aol/ (http://consumerist.com/2006/06/13/the-best-thing-we-have-ever-posted-reader-tries-to-cancel-aol/)
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 02:23:24 PM
TelaFlora is the absolute worst.  If you want flowers delivered, do not use them.  I had an existential crisis dealing with them last Valentine's Day.  It was so bad that I made a formal complaint to the Better Business Bureau and requested a handwritten apology.

you are doing this so wrong
Explain.
is about mind-bottling customers, but whatev's, just busting chops
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: sys on February 07, 2014, 02:27:58 PM
hey ast, can you diagnose my pool via messageboard for free?
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 02:29:43 PM
hey ast, can you diagnose my pool via messageboard for free?

i probably can, step 1, is it full of water?

if not, there's your problem
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: sys on February 07, 2014, 02:36:15 PM
it is full of water!  i would like it to pump itself as well or better than it does now, but without using so much electricity.  is it just unmotivated?
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 02:45:02 PM
it is full of water!  i would like it to pump itself as well or better than it does now, but without using so much electricity.  is it just unmotivated?

pentai intelliflo vs or intelliflo vs+svrs.  works seemlessly with existing pentair automation systems and can also operate as a stand alone computer if your equipment is streamlined.  has a built in freeze-protection that engages the motor drive when temperature gets too low and is highly programmable.  i usually program them to pull about 500 W vs a 2.0 hp moter that pulls around 1.4 kW.  conservatively will reduce your pool electrical usage by 50% while boasting round the clock filtration plus increasing your pool filter life.  manufacturer claims 75% reduction.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 02:51:08 PM
also, check your filter pressure, if it is too high, backwash or perform a filter clean.  if is too low, you have an obstruction in either your pump or suction lines.  this will help pump performance but will do nothing to help with electrical costs.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Stevesie60 on February 07, 2014, 02:54:03 PM
Hey buddy, you know how to make a ninja turtle shot?
Yeah.
Can I get one of those, but as a drink?
Yeah, I can do that.
Hey man, can you make it...you know, extra stout for me?
Well it's made up of a bunch of fruity liqueurs, so there's not going to be much alcohol in there no matter what.
......I trust you.
*I make it just like I normally would*
Yeah man, that's what I'm talking about. I can tell you're a good bartender.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Tobias on February 07, 2014, 02:55:26 PM
Hey buddy, you know how to make a ninja turtle shot?
Yeah.
Can I get one of those, but as a drink?
Yeah, I can do that.
Hey man, can you make it...you know, extra stout for me?
Well it's made up of a bunch of fruity liqueurs, so there's not going to be much alcohol in there no matter what.
......I trust you.
*I make it just like I normally would*
Yeah man, that's what I'm talking about. I can tell you're a good bartender.

i read this whole customer interaction in "pissclams" voice and i think it works
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Stevesie60 on February 07, 2014, 02:57:35 PM
Hey buddy, you know how to make a ninja turtle shot?
Yeah.
Can I get one of those, but as a drink?
Yeah, I can do that.
Hey man, can you make it...you know, extra stout for me?
Well it's made up of a bunch of fruity liqueurs, so there's not going to be much alcohol in there no matter what.
......I trust you.
*I make it just like I normally would*
Yeah man, that's what I'm talking about. I can tell you're a good bartender.

i read this whole customer interaction in "pissclams" voice and i think it works

Hey buddy, you got any good sig cocks?
Yeah, I've made up a #life shot.
Can I get one of those, but as a drink?
Yeah, I can do that.
Hey man, can you make it...you know, extra stout for me?
Well it's made up of a bunch of vodkas, so it's already made up completely of high percentage vodkas.
......I trust you.
*I make it just like I normally would*
Yeah man, that's a great sig male genitals. I can tell you're a good bartender.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: sys on February 07, 2014, 03:00:33 PM
is it hard to change a pump?  i'm not very smart with machines.  the filter cleaning part.  is there something i open and then dump out or replace?

so this one?

http://www.poolcleaningparts.com/pentair-intelliflo-011018-vs-variable-speed-pump.html?___store=default

or this one?  what does the 2nd one do $300 better than the 1st?

http://www.poolcleaningparts.com/intelliflo-vs-svrs-variable-speed-energy-saving-pump.html?___store=default
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: star seed 7 on February 07, 2014, 03:02:56 PM
I don't think the last line in either interaction happened.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: michigancat on February 07, 2014, 03:03:00 PM
some of you people don't sound like you have a customer first mindset.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Emo EMAW on February 07, 2014, 03:05:28 PM
is it hard to change a pump?  i'm not very smart with machines.  the filter cleaning part.  is there something i open and then dump out or replace?

so this one?

http://www.poolcleaningparts.com/pentair-intelliflo-011018-vs-variable-speed-pump.html?___store=default

or this one?  what does the 2nd one do $300 better than the 1st?

http://www.poolcleaningparts.com/intelliflo-vs-svrs-variable-speed-energy-saving-pump.html?___store=default

Keep in mind over the lifetime of a pump 5% is spent on initial purchase, 10% spent on servicing over the life, and 85% spent on electricity. 
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: sys on February 07, 2014, 03:07:18 PM
i meant $200 better.  goddamnit, emo.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Emo EMAW on February 07, 2014, 03:10:09 PM
Like I didn't click the links and do any math or anything but the point was apples to apples efficiency gains is worth spending money on. 
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 07, 2014, 03:12:40 PM
I'm so confused what SYS and Emo do off their customer interactions in this thread.  :dunno:
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Trim on February 07, 2014, 03:15:14 PM
Hey buddy, you know how to make a ninja turtle shot?
Yeah.
Can I get one of those, but as a drink?
Yeah, I can do that.
Hey man, can you make it...you know, extra stout for me?
Well it's made up of a bunch of fruity liqueurs, so there's not going to be much alcohol in there no matter what.
......I trust you.
*I make it just like I normally would*
Yeah man, that's what I'm talking about. I can tell you're a good bartender.

i read this whole customer interaction in "pissclams" voice and i think it works

Hey buddy, you got any good sig cocks?
Yeah, I've made up a #life shot.
Can I get one of those, but as a drink?
Yeah, I can do that.
Hey man, can you make it...you know, extra stout for me?
Well it's made up of a bunch of vodkas, so it's already made up completely of high percentage vodkas.
......I trust you.
*I make it just like I normally would*
Yeah man, that's a great sig male genitals. I can tell you're a good bartender.


It'd be, "Hey man, what's your sig male genitals?"
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 04:11:52 PM
is it hard to change a pump?  i'm not very smart with machines.  the filter cleaning part.  is there something i open and then dump out or replace?

so this one?

http://www.poolcleaningparts.com/pentair-intelliflo-011018-vs-variable-speed-pump.html?___store=default

or this one?  what does the 2nd one do $300 better than the 1st?

http://www.poolcleaningparts.com/intelliflo-vs-svrs-variable-speed-energy-saving-pump.html?___store=default

wow sys, those are all great questions.  let's address them one at a time.

Quote
can you change the pump?

i would recommend that you would have a licensed professional do this as your area might have specific plumbing and electrical codes that must be met but we will go through the skills needed to complete this job and you can decide.
a.  can you replace an existing light switch in your house without either dying or burning your house down?  if the answer is yes, you can mark off one skill needed.  keep in mind you have to determine whether your existing pump is wired 110 or 240 VAC and wire your new pump accordingly or make the required electrical changes to switch from one to the other on the existing electrical circuit that it occupies
b.  can you plumb pvc pipe and do you have the required minimum sch40 material to do the job (also, i would highly recommend sch80 fittings on the pump inlet & outlet or heat resistant couplers)?  if the answer is yes, you can mark off another skill needed.  keep in mind that you may be plumbing with flooded or elevated suction and will need the proper tools and materials to complete this job if necessary
c.  can you easily navigate and program a smartphone or computer?  if the answer is yes, you can mark off the last skill needed. 

Quote
the filter cleaning part.  is there something i open and then dump out or replace?

i would prefer to answer this question in a bit, after you provide me with more information.  what style of filter do you currently use?  is it a sand, cartridge or diatomaceous earth filter?

Quote
what does the 2nd one do $300 better than the 1st?

let's see here, do you want pump protection or better pump protection because that is what this boils down to as they are both great pumps.
both pumps offer
a. thermal overload protection
b. under & over voltage protection
c. freeze protection
d. variable speed programming
the VS-SVRS offers
a. a safety vacuum release system

what does this mean?  it means that the pump is fully compliant with the virginia graeme baker pool and spa safety act which eliminates the need to bring your pool drains to compliance.  it also means that anytime there is a drain or skimmer obstruction the pump will shut off.  so if little jimmy is diving for pennies and gets stuck to the main drain, boom, pump shuts off, releasing jimmy from the bottom and he can dive for pennies another day. 

so basically the SVRS gives you 2 things.  most importantly, piece of mind.  can you put a price tag on piece of mind sys?  i would think that price tag would be way more than $200 if you could but yet you get it for only $200.  secondly, it gives you compliance, so you have that going for you as well.

i really hope this helps!



Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Asteriskhead on February 07, 2014, 04:18:20 PM
I had a Junction City resident threaten to drive to Manhattan and blow me up with a grenade. That was a fun discussion.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: 0.42 on February 07, 2014, 04:18:33 PM
a.tramp. Thoughts on short-term mortgage rates?
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 04:23:48 PM
I had a Junction City resident threaten to drive to Manhattan and blow me up with a grenade. That was a fun discussion.

that customer sounds unreasonable  :dunno:  was he being unreasonable or did you do something to deserve this level of reciprocity
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 07, 2014, 04:26:13 PM
a.tramp. Thoughts on short-term mortgage rates?

mortgage rates are still near all time lows.  go long term, make additional monthly payments and sock some money away in gold and tin foil.  greed and crazy are always in demand.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: puniraptor on February 07, 2014, 04:34:29 PM
Diatomaceous Earf!!!
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: sys on February 07, 2014, 05:01:27 PM
a.  can you replace an existing light switch in your house without either dying or burning your house down?

yes!   :emawkid:


b.  can you plumb pvc pipe and do you have the required minimum sch40 material to do the job (also, i would highly recommend sch80 fittings on the pump inlet & outlet or heat resistant couplers)?  if the answer is yes, you can mark off another skill needed.  keep in mind that you may be plumbing with flooded or elevated suction and will need the proper tools and materials to complete this job if necessary.

maybe.   :crossfingers:  never have, but it sounds like something i could do unless it was flooded or suctiony, in which case i would have to give up.


c.  can you easily navigate and program a smartphone or computer?

no.   :frown:  it sounds like i'm going to have to either hire a licensed professional or an illegal immigrant to do this part.



i would prefer to answer this question in a bit, after you provide me with more information.  what style of filter do you currently use?  is it a sand, cartridge or diatomaceous earth filter?

i'll have to answer this later as well, after i go home and look at it and then google the name of it or take a photo and post it here for you to identify.


a safety vacuum release system

sounds like i can go with the cheaper one then.  no little jimmies and i don't even think the drain works.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: 0.42 on February 08, 2014, 01:18:04 AM
a.tramp. Thoughts on short-term mortgage rates?

mortgage rates are still near all time lows.  go long term, make additional monthly payments and sock some money away in gold and tin foil.  greed and crazy are always in demand.

@steve dave
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 08, 2014, 08:14:07 AM
a.tramp. Thoughts on short-term mortgage rates?

mortgage rates are still near all time lows.  go long term, make additional monthly payments and sock some money away in gold and tin foil.  greed and crazy are always in demand.

@steve dave

haven't you heard, snitches get stitches
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: ben ji on February 08, 2014, 09:11:21 AM
I worked in the kitchen at Tubby's. Had a guy come up to the window with a 16 oz steak he brought in and asked if we would cook it for him...Medium Rare....I told him all we had was a flat top but he still wanted it to happen.

I doubt it was medium rare but he ate it.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 08, 2014, 09:15:08 AM
I worked in the kitchen at Tubby's. Had a guy come up to the window with a 16 oz steak he brought in and asked if we would cook it for him...Medium Rare....I told him all we had was a flat top but he still wanted it to happen.

I doubt it was medium rare but he ate it.

he brought his own steak in to be cooked  :lol:  i bet he tells that story at holidays like he's a boss.  probably tries to pick up chicks with that story as well
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: IPA4Me on February 08, 2014, 09:38:09 AM
I worked in the kitchen at Tubby's. Had a guy come up to the window with a 16 oz steak he brought in and asked if we would cook it for him...Medium Rare....I told him all we had was a flat top but he still wanted it to happen.

I doubt it was medium rare but he ate it.
HVAC contractors like to use that scenario to explain why the won't install internet purchased equipment.

"Would you take your own steak to the restaurant to have it cooked? Why would you expect me to install other equipment?

"Well, yes, yes I would take my own steak."

 :buh-bye:
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Asteriskhead on February 10, 2014, 12:44:04 PM
I had a Junction City resident threaten to drive to Manhattan and blow me up with a grenade. That was a fun discussion.

that customer sounds unreasonable  :dunno:  was he being unreasonable or did you do something to deserve this level of reciprocity

I told the individual that the service provider would not be able to come back that day because he had other commitments.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 10, 2014, 01:38:09 PM
I had a Junction City resident threaten to drive to Manhattan and blow me up with a grenade. That was a fun discussion.

that customer sounds unreasonable  :dunno:  was he being unreasonable or did you do something to deserve this level of reciprocity

I told the individual that the service provider would not be able to come back that day because he had other commitments.

this one is definitely on him, nothing you said warrants a grenade attack
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: slobber on February 10, 2014, 01:42:36 PM
Hey buddy, you know how to make a ninja turtle shot?
Yeah.
Can I get one of those, but as a drink?
Yeah, I can do that.
Hey man, can you make it...you know, extra stout for me?
Well it's made up of a bunch of fruity liqueurs, so there's not going to be much alcohol in there no matter what.
......I trust you.
*I make it just like I normally would*
Yeah man, that's what I'm talking about. I can tell you're a good bartender.

i read this whole customer interaction in "pissclams" voice and i think it works

Hey buddy, you got any good sig cocks?
Yeah, I've made up a #life shot.
Can I get one of those, but as a drink?
Yeah, I can do that.
Hey man, can you make it...you know, extra stout for me?
Well it's made up of a bunch of vodkas, so it's already made up completely of high percentage vodkas.
......I trust you.
*I make it just like I normally would*
Yeah man, that's a great sig crock. I can tell you're a good bartender.
I am totally going to walk into Station sometime and say this to the handsome bartender. (Assuming Stevesie is the most handsome bartender in the ville.)
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: pissclams on February 10, 2014, 02:31:26 PM
if you do, make sure and use trim's suggesto, it's "what's your sig male genitals?"
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Diamond Dave on February 11, 2014, 03:54:50 AM
I've worked in the restaurant industry for 15+ years so there's plenty to choose from but one will always stick with me.

In my early 20's I worked at a sandwich shop and was working an evening shift. A guy came in, ordered a large veggie, and left without incident. About five minutes later he came back very agitated and told me I forgot to put cheese on it.  I was almost positive I had, since it the cheese melts over the veggies and without it, it's a huge pain in the ass to try and close. Regardless, I apologized and made him a new one. He eagle eyed me the entire time. I finished it up, wrapped it up, apologized again for the inconvenience, and told him to have a good night.

A few minutes later, he was back again and livid. He started yelling at me."I told you it wanted cheese on my sandwich! Why can't you get this right?" I told him that i had put it on and offered to point it out to him. He put the sandwich on the counter, unwrapped it and screamed, "Where is it? Show it it me!" I looked down and saw a mangled sandwich. It was blatantly obvious that this guy had tried his hardest to pick the melted cheese off of his sandwich because there were little globs of dried, melted cheese all over it. I politely pointed out the cheddar and mozzarella cheese globs that were amongst the veggies. The dude lost his crap. After cussing me out, he picked up his sandwich, turned around as if to head to the door, but instead quickly turned back around and threw his unwrapped sandwich at me. He rough ridin' launched his sandwich at my face, yelled one last "eff you!" and stormed out. Fortunately he wasn't accurate and he ended up barely missing me. I looked at my coworker, was all like  :dunno: and got back to work.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: star seed 7 on February 11, 2014, 03:57:25 AM
maybe next time don't be so stingy with the cheese bro

go sharks
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 11, 2014, 06:22:39 AM
yes, people that don't eat meat get aggitated like that very easily
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: steve dave on February 11, 2014, 06:58:33 AM
I've never looked at this thread because of the title.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: IPA4Me on February 11, 2014, 07:27:56 AM
I looked at because of the title. I'm still wondering how you bottle a mind.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 11, 2014, 07:41:06 AM
well, this is awkward...
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: slobber on February 11, 2014, 08:00:17 AM
well, this is awkward...
I assumed it was something all of the cool kids were saying. Own the crap out of it, you are a 'cat fan.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 11, 2014, 08:05:53 AM
well, this is awkward...7
I assumed it was something all of the cool kids were saying. Own the crap out of it, you are a 'cat fan.
oh, i do own the crap out of it.  i even put a disclaimer in the 1st post itt saying i knew "bottling" was not the correct term.

the awkwardness is for the people that didn't catch that
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Bloodfart on February 11, 2014, 09:01:50 AM
OH MAN ALEXANDER SUPERTRAMP GOT YOU DOBBER!
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 11, 2014, 09:10:12 AM
this is not, and i will repeat THIS IS NOT, a thread about getting people.  it is a thread about stupid customers so let's get back to task
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Emo EMAW on February 11, 2014, 09:25:25 AM
Was on the horn with this dude who was telling me I picked the wrong pump because they weren't getting the flow they needed.  He makes me sit on the phone as he's tearing it apart.  Low and behold he goes "ooohh holy crap, there's a mouse stuck in one of the impellers."  In the coolest calmest voice possible I said "sir we don't recommend pumping rodents or any other small animals with this model."  I think he told me to eff off and hung up.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 11, 2014, 09:39:03 AM
Was on the horn with this dude who was telling me I picked the wrong pump because they weren't getting the flow they needed.  He makes me sit on the phone as he's tearing it apart.  Low and behold he goes "ooohh holy crap, there's a mouse stuck in one of the impellers."  In the coolest calmest voice possible I said "sir we don't recommend pumping rodents or any other small animals with this model."  I think he told me to eff off and hung up.



 :ROFL:

that's a good one, i had an almost identical incident but substitute a spiderman action figure for the rodent
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 11, 2014, 09:40:26 AM
oh, and it was a valve but he thought it was a problem with the pump i had just installed
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: cDubya on February 11, 2014, 09:47:26 AM
AS, only 3 pages until  :Take the Bait:! Nice!
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: slucat on February 11, 2014, 10:25:42 AM
i was bar tending at a local yokal bar while in undergrad; worked a halloween party, i was asked to make a long island-made it gave it to the chick; she was all "this is too strong, make it again"
I was all  :horrorsurprise: :Wha: :shakesfist:
no tip.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Unruly on February 11, 2014, 10:33:46 AM
I looked at because of the title. I'm still wondering how you bottle a mind.

Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 11, 2014, 10:47:01 AM
i was bar tending at a local yokal bar while in undergrad; worked a halloween party, i was asked to make a long island-made it gave it to the chick; she was all "this is too strong, make it again"
I was all  :horrorsurprise: :Wha: :shakesfist:
no tip.

dumb broad probably had a long island ice tea and an arnold palmer confused
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: sys on February 11, 2014, 01:09:36 PM
Was on the horn with this dude who was telling me I picked the wrong pump because they weren't getting the flow they needed.  He makes me sit on the phone as he's tearing it apart.  Low and behold he goes "ooohh holy crap, there's a mouse stuck in one of the impellers."  In the coolest calmest voice possible I said "sir we don't recommend pumping rodents or any other small animals with this model."  I think he told me to eff off and hung up.

they fall in, bad person.  i've fished a couple of baby rats out (live).  poor things.

 
ast, i haven't checked on my filter yet.  i will soon, so please keep checking the thread.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Emo EMAW on February 11, 2014, 01:19:17 PM
Was on the horn with this dude who was telling me I picked the wrong pump because they weren't getting the flow they needed.  He makes me sit on the phone as he's tearing it apart.  Low and behold he goes "ooohh holy crap, there's a mouse stuck in one of the impellers."  In the coolest calmest voice possible I said "sir we don't recommend pumping rodents or any other small animals with this model."  I think he told me to eff off and hung up.

they fall in, bad person.  i've fished a couple of baby rats out (live).  poor things.

 
ast, i haven't checked on my filter yet.  i will soon, so please keep checking the thread.

This was a big ass irrigation pump, but ya, they do, and why does that make me an bad person? 
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: sys on February 11, 2014, 01:25:11 PM
he wasn't trying to pump the rodent!
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Emo EMAW on February 11, 2014, 01:31:57 PM
He doubted my engineering goddamnit!  His doubt required my sarcastic response.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: star seed 7 on February 11, 2014, 05:54:56 PM
i was bar tending at a local yokal bar while in undergrad; worked a halloween party, i was asked to make a long island-made it gave it to the chick; she was all "this is too strong, make it again"
I was all  :horrorsurprise: :Wha: :shakesfist:
no tip.

this is more of a stevesie story, dunno if he remembers it.  some dude comes up and orders a double crown and coke.  stevesie makes it and dude goes and sits down at a table.  waitress comes back with the drink and dude says he can't even taste the crown in it so stevesie puts more in and waitress takes it back to him.  waitress comes back and says the dude says the drink is too strong to drink and left.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: wetwillie on February 11, 2014, 06:01:03 PM
He doubted my engineering goddamnit!  His doubt required my sarcastic response.

Do engineers typically offer tech support for the product they design? I have no background obviously. 
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: michigancat on February 11, 2014, 06:11:51 PM
He doubted my engineering goddamnit!  His doubt required my sarcastic response.

Do engineers typically offer tech support for the product they design? I have no background obviously. 

I'm guessing emo didn't design the pump - just spec'ed it. And I'd guess engineers generally offer tech support (in some form) for everything they design. In my case it's usually filtered through customer service.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: ShellShock on February 11, 2014, 06:22:30 PM
He doubted my engineering goddamnit!  His doubt required my sarcastic response.

So are you an engineer then? I haven't been able to figure out what you do.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: GoodForAnother on February 11, 2014, 06:45:30 PM
yes, emo works for burlington northern
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on February 11, 2014, 07:42:02 PM
i was bar tending at a local yokal bar while in undergrad; worked a halloween party, i was asked to make a long island-made it gave it to the chick; she was all "this is too strong, make it again"
I was all  :horrorsurprise: :Wha: :shakesfist:
no tip.

this is more of a stevesie story, dunno if he remembers it.  some dude comes up and orders a double crown and coke.  stevesie makes it and dude goes and sits down at a table.  waitress comes back with the drink and dude says he can't even taste the crown in it so stevesie puts more in and waitress takes it back to him.  waitress comes back and says the dude says the drink is too strong to drink and left.

that was a rick daris go to move back when i used to sling drinks. oh what's that? you don't think there's enough rum in your rum and coke, bad person? oh ok. dump out drink and fill with nothing but rum and then super small splash of coke and give back. what? what's that now? there's too much rum? jesus guy. gmafb. get the eff out of here w/ this crap.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on February 11, 2014, 07:49:44 PM
I splashed a baby with a bowl of salsa one time at Carlos O Kellys. It was the last table before the end of my shift. They had just sat down and as I walked towards them, I tripped, and launched the bowl of salsa I had in my hand right on the babies face.  :lol: Manager told me to go home and forget about it.  :D I didn't have to roll silverware. :Woot:
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Emo EMAW on February 11, 2014, 08:09:57 PM
He doubted my engineering goddamnit!  His doubt required my sarcastic response.

Do engineers typically offer tech support for the product they design? I have no background obviously.

Dunno.  I do stand by my work and if ever someone calls it into question they are welcome to speak with me directly.  But I reserve the right to be respectfully sarcastic.   Anyway I don't do that function anymore.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: sys on February 12, 2014, 12:18:16 AM
why wasn't there a rodent screen over the impeller intake?
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: star seed 7 on February 12, 2014, 01:15:27 AM
why wasn't there a rodent screen over the impeller intake?

bad engineering
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: AST on February 12, 2014, 06:49:07 AM
shots fired
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: ChiComCat on February 12, 2014, 12:44:02 PM
Lost power at work for a few hours the other day.  Had a guest ask if it was due to a local highway being closed.  Was all I could do not to tell he that yep, power was stuck in traffic.
Title: Re: this is a thread for mind-bottling customer interactions
Post by: Emo EMAW on February 12, 2014, 01:09:47 PM
why wasn't there a rodent screen over the impeller intake?

Improper installation would be my guess.  Wells should always be capped and sometimes screened.