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TITLETOWN - A Decade Long Celebration Of The Greatest Achievement In College Athletics History => Kansas State Football => Topic started by: The_Wippuh on January 09, 2014, 10:43:11 AM
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Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn was stripped naked, thrown into a cage, and eaten alive by a pack of ravenous dogs, according to a newspaper with close ties to SEC commissioner Mike Slive.
Malzahn, who had been considered an up-and-coming coach in college football, was executed this morning after losing the BCS title game and ending the SEC’s streak of seven consecutive national championships. He was found guilty of “attempting to undermine SEC superiority.”
Birmingham, Ala.-based pro-SEC newspaper “Birmingham News” reported that Malzahn and his five top assistants were set upon by 120 hunting hounds which had been starved for five days.
Slive and Alabama head coach Nick Saban supervised the one-hour ordeal along with other SEC coaches, according to the report. The newspaper added that Malzahn and his assistants were “completely eaten up.”
In the highly scripted execution, the SEC accused Malzahn of “attempting to undermine conference superiority by all sorts of intrigues and despicable methods including not sniffing out an obvious fake punt and failing to hold a lead.”
The conference also accused him of of corruption, stealing recruits, playing a thief at quarterback and “embarrassing” clothing choices.
The SEC also today announced plans to test a missile in southeast Alabama, not far from Tallahassee, Florida.
http://www.sportspickle.com/2014/01/gus-malzahn-executed-sec-headquarters-shaming-conference-bcs-title-game-loss (http://www.sportspickle.com/2014/01/gus-malzahn-executed-sec-headquarters-shaming-conference-bcs-title-game-loss)
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interesting if accurate
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I accept this without question as a factual report.
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if we're going to start posting the onion articles here then i just don't even
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that's hilarious
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Video? :excited:
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To the person who posted the story, :thumbsup:
To the person who hated on the story, :shakesfist:
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To the person who hated on the story, :shakesfist:
It's @emawblast.
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To the person who hated on the story, :shakesfist:
It's @emawblast.
:surprised: WE HAVE AN @ FUNCTION? i just got notified via Tapatalk about this... i didn't realize this worked...
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To the person who hated on the story, :shakesfist:
It's @emawblast.
:surprised: WE HAVE AN @ FUNCTION? i just got notified via Tapatalk about this... i didn't realize this worked...
Okay, 'blast, now I have no rough ridin' idea if you're being serious. :horrorsurprise:
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It's @emawblast.
:surprised: WE HAVE AN @ FUNCTION? i just got notified via Tapatalk about this... i didn't realize this worked...
:surprised: what on earth? someone try @ing me so we can get something out of this thread
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It's @emawblast.
:surprised: WE HAVE AN @ FUNCTION? i just got notified via Tapatalk about this... i didn't realize this worked...
:surprised: what on earth? someone try @ing me so we can get something out of this thread
@Tobias
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If this is a real thing, I think I found my "Greatest Contribution of 2014" already. :sdeek:
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@Tobias
damn you @emawblast :shakesfist:
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:frown:
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can you @ yourself? @puniraptor
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can you @ yourself? @puniraptor
Here:
http://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=30758.0 (http://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=30758.0)
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wut! an @function? about time!
good luck @ing me
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wut! an @function? about time!
good luck @ing me
@Trim is going to be so happy about this.
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What does it do? Is it just useful in tapatalk?
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This is making Missouri justifying their move to the SEC even harder. Ts and Ps Mizzou... Ts and Ps.
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This is making Missouri justifying their move to the SEC even harder. Ts and Ps Mizzou... Ts and Ps.
Sorry if we didn't stay on track with the OP. It's just that we can't take anything said from the SEC seriously; not after their top team lost to our third rated team. Their "superiority" is now a joke. :ROFL:
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Sorry if we didn't stay on track with the OP. It's just that we can't take anything said from the SEC seriously; not after their top team lost to our third rated team. Their "superiority" is now a joke. :ROFL:
Excellent point, however Saban may have lost that game on purpose according to the following...
http://www.sportspickle.com/2014/01/nick-saban-admits-enjoying-seeing-alabama-fans-suffer (http://www.sportspickle.com/2014/01/nick-saban-admits-enjoying-seeing-alabama-fans-suffer)
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Sorry if we didn't stay on track with the OP. It's just that we can't take anything said from the SEC seriously; not after their top team lost to our third rated team. Their "superiority" is now a joke. :ROFL:
Excellent point, however Saban may have lost that game on purpose according to the following...
http://www.sportspickle.com/2014/01/nick-saban-admits-enjoying-seeing-alabama-fans-suffer (http://www.sportspickle.com/2014/01/nick-saban-admits-enjoying-seeing-alabama-fans-suffer)
‘Oh, no. Saban is past his prime, but we’re stuck with him because of his new contract.’ Ha! Maybe so. Maybe the future is all Auburn and Gus Malzahn. Could very well be. And if that’s the case, I say: suck it. Suck it long. Suck it hard. You should have enjoyed it more when we were on top. These idiots meant nothing to me then and they mean nothing to me now.” :lol:
:thumbsup: