goemaw.com
General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: CHONGS on January 26, 2013, 10:24:36 PM
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so like a 25% chance I might be headed to jail (prison really) for about 6 months (at minimum). I can't talk about the deets (obvs), but what tips do any of you guys have. I know they say act crazy and whatnot but this aint the movies and I although I look rough (a bit like a younger danny trejo with glasses), it wont fool anyone as soon as I open my mouth. Thx for tips guys.
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Get your mom to bake you a birthday cake with a file in it
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depends on what you're in for.
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depends on what you're in for.
Well I think can at least say its a nonviolent crime.
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depends on what you're in for.
Well I think can at least say its a nonviolent crime.
Are you going to lose computer privileges when you get out
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will you remove my ban before you go in?
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will you remove my ban before you go in?
1) I did not ban you.
2) If I did ban you, no. I would make sure you stayed banned until I was dead and buried plus 40 years.
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considering you own a message board with several top notch attorneys, your change of jail time should be hovering around 0%
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will you remove my ban before you go in?
1) I did not ban you.
2) If I did ban you, no. I would make sure you stayed banned until I was dead and buried plus 40 years.
You may not have banned me, but you do have the power to lift my ban. This is an opportunity to makeup for the poor decisions you've made in the past.
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considering you own a message board with several top notch attorneys, your change of jail time should be hovering around 0%
The deal is, is that I don't own any part of it. This was made sure of from the beginning. Legally I am 100% an independent contractor who sometimes helps administrate. BSAC was no dummy.
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will you remove my ban before you go in?
1) I did not ban you.
2) If I did ban you, no. I would make sure you stayed banned until I was dead and buried plus 40 years.
You may not have banned me, but you do have the power to lift my ban. This is an opportunity to makeup for the poor decisions you've made in the past.
If I personally liked you I would certainly lift the ban. But c'est, ce que c'est!
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considering you own a message board with several top notch attorneys, your change of jail time should be hovering around 0%
The deal is, is that I don't own any part of it. This was made sure of from the beginning. Legally I am 100% an independent contractor who sometimes helps administrate. BSAC was no dummy.
son of a bitch, in that case you should probably look into carrier pigeon training to get notes to the outside to work on your escape. Also learn how to make prison alcohol for barter.
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See if those anti-rape female condom are real or not. If they exist, shove one up your butthole. If not, get used to having dongs up there. Unless you get like minimum security. If you do, just keep your head down and do your time quietly.
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See if those anti-rape female condom are real or not. If they exist, shove one up your butthole. If not, get used to having dongs up there. Unless you get like minimum security. If you do, just keep your head down and do your time quietly.
get real. this isn't tv and I am what most people would consider an unattractive person. the only thing I am worried about getting stabbed with is a melted down toothbrush sharpened into a knife.
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If I could go to prison for 6 months without losing my job or my wife leaving me, I think it could be a pretty cool life experience.
I hope you read lots of books, get swole, and have a full and beautiful life.
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Also pirate a bunch of Krav Maga DVDs RIGHT NOW and learn some techniques to fend off the sharpened toothbrushes.
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Also pirate a bunch of Krav Maga DVDs RIGHT NOW and learn some techniques to fend off the sharpened toothbrushes.
probably a good idea (but not pirating because that is wrong both morally and legally).
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Have you seen the ending of Scream 2? Acting crazy definitely helps.
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Also pirate a bunch of Krav Maga DVDs RIGHT NOW and learn some techniques to fend off the sharpened toothbrushes.
probably a good idea (but not pirating because that is wrong both morally and legally).
lol
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Headed for state prison or federal prison? Quite a difference between the two venues, as I understand it.
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Also pirate a bunch of Krav Maga DVDs RIGHT NOW and learn some techniques to fend off the sharpened toothbrushes.
probably a good idea (but not pirating because that is wrong both morally and legally).
well at least we know what you did now.
Ts and Ps.
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Not that I am a hardened criminal or anything, but I have spend a bit of time in jail. It really all depends upon where you go and what the gen pop consists of. Since you are a member of goEMAW, I can trust that you are a highly intelligent person. Befriend whoever you think wields a lot of power by any means possible without sacrificing what you value about yourself and roll with it. Find a spot, fill the role, survive, get out.
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holding out hope this is one of those gpc/kstatefans copy/pastie threadies
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Not that I am a hardened criminal or anything, but I have spend a bit of time in jail. It really all depends upon where you go and what the gen pop consists of. Since you are a member of goEMAW, I can trust that you are a highly intelligent person. Befriend whoever you think wields a lot of power by any means possible without sacrificing what you value about yourself and roll with it. Find a spot, fill the role, survive, get out.
Don't think that will work in prison, he's gonna have to hang out with dudes from his race or he's gonna get beat up by other races and beat up/raped by his own race. Course, the shot callers from whichever gang he joins are gonna make him shank someone, likely leading to a longer sentence.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2ekNmsz-Iw
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I would run. Especially if I didn't have wife and kids and had a skillset that can be done elsewhere easily. 6mo doesn't sound like a lot but eff that.
January is a fantastic time to check out warmer climates.
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Not that I am a hardened criminal or anything, but I have spend a bit of time in jail. It really all depends upon where you go and what the gen pop consists of. Since you are a member of goEMAW, I can trust that you are a highly intelligent person. Befriend whoever you think wields a lot of power by any means possible without sacrificing what you value about yourself and roll with it. Find a spot, fill the role, survive, get out.
Don't think that will work in prison, he's gonna have to hang out with dudes from his race or he's gonna get beat up by other races and beat up/raped by his own race. Course, the shot callers from whichever gang he joins are gonna make him shank someone, likely leading to a longer sentence.
How does what I said contradict what you said?
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Not that I am a hardened criminal or anything, but I have spend a bit of time in jail. It really all depends upon where you go and what the gen pop consists of. Since you are a member of goEMAW, I can trust that you are a highly intelligent person. Befriend whoever you think wields a lot of power by any means possible without sacrificing what you value about yourself and roll with it. Find a spot, fill the role, survive, get out.
Don't think that will work in prison, he's gonna have to hang out with dudes from his race or he's gonna get beat up by other races and beat up/raped by his own race. Course, the shot callers from whichever gang he joins are gonna make him shank someone, likely leading to a longer sentence.
How does what I said contradict what you said?
Just the part about choosing who he wants to side with. In prison, you have to hang out with your race. County jails around here are much more relaxed and people tend to just hang out with whoever is sleeping near them because you spend most of your time on your bed.
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pete told me about prison nachos one time. when you get back you can show us how to make them.
oh and t's & p's
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pete told me about prison nachos one time. when you get back you can show us how to make them.
oh and t's & p's
Bernard Hopkins had some pretty cool stories about different ways to make food in prison. Something about a light bulb and a shoebox used to make a sort of toaster oven. (I think he called it a microwave but that dude ain't real bright.)
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I will visit you chings. will do the thing where we put the fists on the glass.
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so like a 25% chance I might be headed to jail (prison really) for about 6 months (at minimum). I can't talk about the deets (obvs), but what tips do any of you guys have. I know they say act crazy and whatnot but this aint the movies and I although I look rough (a bit like a younger danny trejo with glasses), it wont fool anyone as soon as I open my mouth. Thx for tips guys.
My special lady friend used to work in the criminal justice system in Kansas, specifically around where/how they placed prisoners. One of THE most important things you need to do is to be very hospitable and peaceful when they evaluate you. Sometimes they would hold the new prisoner in an area for a while for whatever reason (other pending charges), and if you behaved yourself during this classification process, then you were more likely to get minimum security. If you go in there and behave poorly, then you get sent to medium or maximum.
Obviously there are some crimes for which they skip that and send you right maximum.
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I always heard you should slug the biggest guy there right off the bat to send a message.
Also, jail will basically give you time to get really cut and read a bunch of books, doesnt seem like it would be that bad.
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I heard you throw the biggest guy off the top floor and kill him. Seems a bit extreme for 6 months though and, I would imagine, could keep you in prison longer.
I would act crazy. Not outlandish or over the top, but just quiet Steve Buscemi from Con-Air crazy.
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Start a rumor that you are HIV positive, that will give you plenty of peace and quiet
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What if you found the biggest, baddest mofo in prison and just raped the hell out of him? Seems like that would establish dominance...
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weird thread.
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Should probably merge this with the Master Dating thread and then eventually to Fanning Related thread. I have a feeling that every thread will eventually end up in the Fanning thread.
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I mean, she looked 18, right?
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Not that I am a hardened criminal or anything, but I have spend a bit of time in jail. It really all depends upon where you go and what the gen pop consists of. Since you are a member of goEMAW, I can trust that you are a highly intelligent person. Befriend whoever you think wields a lot of power by any means possible without sacrificing what you value about yourself and roll with it. Find a spot, fill the role, survive, get out.
Don't think that will work in prison, he's gonna have to hang out with dudes from his race or he's gonna get beat up by other races and beat up/raped by his own race. Course, the shot callers from whichever gang he joins are gonna make him shank someone, likely leading to a longer sentence.
How does what I said contradict what you said?
Just the part about choosing who he wants to side with. In prison, you have to hang out with your race. County jails around here are much more relaxed and people tend to just hang out with whoever is sleeping near them because you spend most of your time on your bed.
Word up. I had to side with an admitted racist and wife beater. We did make a hammock out of sheets across the bunks though! :D
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No one cares about you, just go to jail and stfu.
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Start a rumor that you are HIV positive, that will give you plenty of peace and quiet
What if his raper is also HIV positive? Welp, that guy has a clean conscious now. Don't have to worry about infecting a guy who already has it.
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What's the statute of limitations on what you allegedly did?
I mean, if its a couple yrs, why not run?
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Make sure to get a tattoo for every person you raped or killed before you go.
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Make sure to get a tattoo for every person you raped or killed before you go.
A teardrop under your eye for every Metallica album you seeded.
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Start a rumor that you are HIV positive, that will give you plenty of peace and quiet
What if his raper is also HIV positive? Welp, that guy has a clean conscious now. Don't have to worry about infecting a guy who already has it.
I would hope said positive innate would want to keep that on the down low. Actually, I wonder if they take HIV positive inmates out of the general population?
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Here is a guide to making prison booze. Practice this before you're incarcerated so you get really good at it. If you can make quality wine in jail, nobody will eff with you.
http://dudefoods.com/how-make-your-own-prison-wine/
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I have an employee who did 8 months in the OC prison. Although it depends on where you are, he shared a few of his stories. These may or may not be true and/or exaggerated...
1. Depending on your race, you will be "beat in". The length of the beating depends on what race you are. The first letter of your race is how many seconds you get beaten. Black= 2 seconds, Mexican= 13 seconds, White=23 seconds. He was white so he got the worst of it.
2. If you do something that hurts the population, you will get your ass kicked. This is probably fairly obvious. He said he accidentally removed some dumbbells from the rec room to another part of a prison which was a no-no. The guards took them away from everyone as a punishment and, in return, he got his ass kicked.
3. If you do something that someone who's part of a gang doesn't like, you can be "greenlit". That means you are fair game for anyone in that gang to attack. While this guy never got greenlit, it was always a fear of his because an attack could be when you least expected and you'd be constantly paranoid.
4. Inmates know where cameras are and aren't. While this may be another fairly obvious one, watch where you go. They know where they can get you and where they'll be caught on camera. In general, the guards don't really care so if there's no hard, video evidence, it's hard to prosecute them.
Good luck and godspeed.
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If you have any habits, break them now. I had a boss that went in a couple times. The last time, he hired a couple friends he met inside. One used to tell me how the boss would s a guys d for cappuccino/coffee.
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I'm nervous for chings... :ohno:
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If you have any habits, break them now. I had a boss that went in a couple times. The last time, he hired a couple friends he met inside. One used to tell me how the boss would s a guys d for cappuccino/coffee.
i know a lot of serious caffeineheads, but none who would suck a dick for coffee who aren't already into sucking dick.
Edit: what i'm trying to say is that your boss must like coffee a whole lot.
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You've learned enough law here to fake it; tell all the fellow inmates you're a lawyer and that you're gonna file a class-action lawsuit on their behalf to get everyone sprung and paid.
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Chings, I would immediately claim to have a substance abuse problem of whatever kind.
Some states have drug and alcohol treatment programs inside the prison, and sometimes they even have their own buildings/floors/cell blocks.
It's a good way to get out of the general population.
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crap is a weapon. Aim for the eyes.
:bitchslap:<--- except with crap covered hand.
Godspeed chings may he bless and protect you.
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What's the statute of limitations on what you allegedly did?
I mean, if its a couple yrs, why not run?
Not sure if that works for active cases, does it? I mean, won't the just arrest him down the road during a traffic stop or something, find the warrant and send him back to face his trial/sentence?
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If you have any habits, break them now. I had a boss that went in a couple times. The last time, he hired a couple friends he met inside. One used to tell me how the boss would s a guys d for cappuccino/coffee.
I'm trying to think of a single thing I would s a guys d for... Thank God I don't have a crippling heroin addiction or something.
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Are you sure you're going to prison?
Most non-violent crimes that have sentences less than 1yr can be served in county jail.
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You should teach your fellow inmates the inner workings of CHIRP. Tell them that it was 80% ATS last season that they can use it to get rich when they get out because, let's face it, nobody is gong to want to give them a job. It should probably take about 6 months to teach those bozos basic algebra, let alone a mathematical college football predictor, so that should make you some friends and keep them occupied until you can get out.
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Are you sure you're going to prison?
Most non-violent crimes that have sentences less than 1yr can be served in county jail.
Maybe even get to do some work release or something...
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When will you know if you are going to prison/jail or not? If you do end up going, when will be be headed in?
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Can I be admin while Chingon is gone? I promise that I won't unban Kim Carnes.
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Can I be admin while Chingon is gone? I promise that I won't unban Kim Carnes.
get in line, bub.
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There will be an older black guy who can get things. Become his best friend. You'll probably have a cell at the end of the row, so just tunnel out of there with a rock hammer. Also, get a poster of a hot chick to cover up the tunnel.
If you ever get the chance to tar the roof, make sure you take it. You could overhear a guard's financial problems and help him, for a fee of 3 beers for you and your pals.
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There will be an older black guy who can get things. Become his best friend. You'll probably have a cell at the end of the row, so just tunnel out of there with a rock hammer. Also, get a poster of a hot chick to cover up the tunnel.
If you ever get the chance to tar the roof, make sure you take it. You could overhear a guard's financial problems and help him, for a fee of 3 beers for you and your pals.
Also avoid the sisters, they are no good.