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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: kslim on August 02, 2012, 09:17:07 AM

Title: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: kslim on August 02, 2012, 09:17:07 AM
and non football related ( i stole this but it blew my mind) insider itk stuff

pparently, we — a collective of food-eating-ketchup-using hooligans — have been consuming ketchup all wrong.
If you’ve ever poured ketchup into those tiny paper cup containers and brought them back to your table for fry dunking and burger smearing, you might be a victim of ketchup ignorance as well.
Did you know that these ketchup containers are built to fan out, and are made to allow for more dunk square-footage?
As it stands, your fries probably fit pretty snugly, but imagine wanting to dip your burger into that tiny cup — not happening.
The conversation came up after a long day at the beach. I was weathered, the sun had beat down on my face, I was nothing more than a walking zombie and my barbaric eating habits must have shown. There we were, a group of my friends sitting on a picnic table outside of a local burger shack in Laguna Beach, and I was trying to dunk my burger into a cup of ketchup that looked like this:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fcontent%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F08%2Fketchup-wrong.jpg&hash=3e74c961f7ab435d3c8a2d316924a0bd3a0dd595)
My friend Matt, noticing my struggle of trying to fit a humongous peg into a seemingly unwilling pinhole of ketchup, nonchalantly reached for my ketchup container, tugged the upper crust out, and showed me that I had been using these ketchup containers wrong my entire life.
Now my dunking apparatus looked like this:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fcontent%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F08%2Fketchup-been-done-wrong.jpg&hash=71e03dfef256de3ebc56771b468a420169a062b1)
Amazing. I will never look at people using ketchup in the pre-fanned containers the same again. Hell, I can barely look at myself in the mirror for doing it incorrectly my entire l ife.
Thanks mom and dad, for teaching me absolutely nothing about proper ketchup eating. At least now I know.
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: steve dave on August 02, 2012, 09:19:36 AM
you would have to fan it out before filling it though or your hands would get ketchup on them
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: pissclams on August 02, 2012, 09:21:18 AM
you would have to fan it out before filling it though or your hands would get ketchup on them

thanks dr. science
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: kslim on August 02, 2012, 09:22:29 AM
you would have to fan it out before filling it though or your hands would get ketchup on them

i thought that was a given, the trial and error would be fun either way
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: OK_Cat on August 02, 2012, 10:00:58 AM
oh my.  now THAT is a scoop. 
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: pissclams on August 02, 2012, 10:02:54 AM
you would have to fan it out before filling it though or your hands would get ketchup on them

i thought that was a given, the trial and error would be fun either way

it was a given, for everyone minus dr.science
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 02, 2012, 10:24:08 AM
and non football related ( i stole this but it blew my mind) insider itk stuff

pparently, we — a collective of food-eating-ketchup-using hooligans — have been consuming ketchup all wrong.
If you’ve ever poured ketchup into those tiny paper cup containers and brought them back to your table for fry dunking and burger smearing, you might be a victim of ketchup ignorance as well.
Did you know that these ketchup containers are built to fan out, and are made to allow for more dunk square-footage?
As it stands, your fries probably fit pretty snugly, but imagine wanting to dip your burger into that tiny cup — not happening.
The conversation came up after a long day at the beach. I was weathered, the sun had beat down on my face, I was nothing more than a walking zombie and my barbaric eating habits must have shown. There we were, a group of my friends sitting on a picnic table outside of a local burger shack in Laguna Beach, and I was trying to dunk my burger into a cup of ketchup that looked like this:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fcontent%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F08%2Fketchup-wrong.jpg&hash=3e74c961f7ab435d3c8a2d316924a0bd3a0dd595)
My friend Matt, noticing my struggle of trying to fit a humongous peg into a seemingly unwilling pinhole of ketchup, nonchalantly reached for my ketchup container, tugged the upper crust out, and showed me that I had been using these ketchup containers wrong my entire life.
Now my dunking apparatus looked like this:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fcontent%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F08%2Fketchup-been-done-wrong.jpg&hash=71e03dfef256de3ebc56771b468a420169a062b1)
Amazing. I will never look at people using ketchup in the pre-fanned containers the same again. Hell, I can barely look at myself in the mirror for doing it incorrectly my entire l ife.
Thanks mom and dad, for teaching me absolutely nothing about proper ketchup eating. At least now I know.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic03.mediaite.com%2Fsportsgrid%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F03%2F257966312-2a4f14eea56ee73d12faca04cec2fdb7.4d7f69d8-full.gif&hash=890dd0b7d4275d96443cf0874bbe77938bdeb514)
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: Stevesie60 on August 02, 2012, 10:27:09 AM
That is possibly my favorite gif of all time.
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: Panjandrum on August 02, 2012, 10:37:46 AM
That is possibly my favorite gif of all time.

So appropriately used here, too.
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: EMAW4life-JHL on August 02, 2012, 10:44:36 AM
my boner for KSU football is huge.
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: EMAWmeister on August 02, 2012, 11:03:40 AM
21 years old, just learned how to eat ketchup.

From now on, I'll be  :dance: when I'm at a fast food joint and show my friends how to use ketchup.
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: slobber on August 02, 2012, 11:06:11 AM
21 years old, just learned how to eat ketchup.

From now on, I'll be  :dance: when I'm at a fast food joint and show my friends how to use ketchup.
Don't say anything. Good lord, act like you have been there before.
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: MadCat on August 02, 2012, 11:15:56 AM
Proper ketchup-cup-usage must be kept an exclusive fraternity.  Don't tell your friends that they are uncivilized.
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: kslim on August 02, 2012, 11:51:53 AM
Proper ketchup-cup-usage must be kept an exclusive fraternity.  Don't tell your friends that they are uncivilized.
i will use it to make my friends feel poor
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: Asteriskhead on August 02, 2012, 01:05:57 PM
What about putting your ketchup on one of those plastic large drink lids? They hold more ketchup, and have more usable "dunk" space. It's possible that this is too uncivilized. Can someone else weigh in?
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: TheHamburglar on August 02, 2012, 01:08:04 PM
What about putting your ketchup on one of those plastic large drink lids? They hold more ketchup, and have more usable "dunk" space. It's possible that this is too uncivilized. Can someone else weigh in?

Uncivilized or not, I don't care, this is what I do.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: slobber on August 02, 2012, 01:26:07 PM
I use the peanut container at 5 guys. Uncivilized?
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: Mikeyis4dcats on August 02, 2012, 06:19:49 PM
you tards have obviously never done jello shots.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: SdK on August 02, 2012, 06:24:41 PM
you tards have obviously never done jello shots.

Actually quite funny, I have. Never made the connection though. Also...ketchup is for the birds. Mustard!  :love:
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: star seed 7 on August 02, 2012, 06:29:57 PM
Ketchup is gross.  The people that use the drink lids disgust me.
Title: Re: Re: K-State Football Insiders Post Insider Secrets In This Thread! 2 Month Countdown
Post by: EMAWmeister on August 02, 2012, 07:01:45 PM
What about putting your ketchup on one of those plastic large drink lids? They hold more ketchup, and have more usable "dunk" space. It's possible that this is too uncivilized. Can someone else weigh in?

I learned this from my roommate from chicago during my freshman year.  Maybe it's just a big city thing?
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on August 02, 2012, 07:06:28 PM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: Bloodfart on August 02, 2012, 07:55:28 PM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!

:barf: Thanks fanningbacteria.  Do you honestly think they sanitize those trays?!?  They are an extension of the table/floor/restroom/where you poop!
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on August 02, 2012, 07:56:58 PM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!

:barf: Thanks fanningbacteria.  Do you honestly think they sanitize those trays?!?
Did you not read the part where you put the ketchup on the paper cover? You don't eat the crap that bleeds onto the tray face.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: Bloodfart on August 02, 2012, 08:04:53 PM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!

:barf: Thanks fanningbacteria.  Do you honestly think they sanitize those trays?!?  They are an extension of the table/floor/restroom/where you poop!
Did you not read the part where you put the ketchup on the paper cover? You don't eat the crap that bleeds onto the tray face.

HEY I'M SORRY BE MORE SPECIFIC IN THE FUTURE OK? YOU'RE AN OK DOOD ALRIGHT! 
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on August 02, 2012, 08:51:59 PM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!

:barf: Thanks fanningbacteria.  Do you honestly think they sanitize those trays?!?  They are an extension of the table/floor/restroom/where you poop!
Did you not read the part where you put the ketchup on the paper cover? You don't eat the crap that bleeds onto the tray face.

HEY I'M SORRY BE MORE SPECIFIC IN THE FUTURE OK? YOU'RE AN OK DOOD ALRIGHT!
:lol:
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: ChiComCat on August 03, 2012, 12:35:47 AM
You know whats really a revelation, just putting the ketchup on the rough ridin' burger so you're not dunking it every damn bite.  Seriously people, do you individually put dressing on every bite of salad too?  Because if so, I'm about to blow your minds
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: OK_Cat on August 03, 2012, 10:00:48 AM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!

maybe i'm over-stepping my bounds since i've never worked fast food and you probably have....but what makes you think that those paper sheets on the trays are clean?  they probably sit in a huge stack on the floor in the back somewhere, probably infected with hantivirus and brown recluse spiders. 
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on August 03, 2012, 10:04:58 AM
You know whats really a revelation, just putting the ketchup on the rough ridin' burger so you're not dunking it every damn bite.  Seriously people, do you individually put dressing on every bite of salad too?  Because if so, I'm about to blow your minds

Some things are just better dipped. Sometimes I don't put my ketchup and mustard directly on the burger because they make the bun soggy and slippery. If its already a greasy burger, dipping is the ONLY solution. Salad is a different story. If I ate salad with my hands, hell yeah I'm gonna dunk that crap, cuz its way better.

I'll tell you what, though, if I ever do eat a salad with my hand and I have to dunk my lettuce in a ranch cup, bet your ass that cup is gonna be fanned out.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: pissclams on August 03, 2012, 10:10:48 AM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!

maybe i'm over-stepping my bounds since i've never worked fast food and you probably have....but what makes you think that those paper sheets on the trays are clean?  they probably sit in a huge stack on the floor in the back somewhere, probably infected with hantivirus and brown recluse spiders. 

they stack those trays one on top of the other.  meaning that the bottom of the tray stacked on top of fannings, rests directly on fannings paper/ketchup reservoir.  and is anything but clean.  because they don't wipe the bottoms of those trays.  lol.  go cats.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on August 03, 2012, 11:10:03 AM
Even if the paper were clean, it's a porous medium. As soon as that paper gets damp with ketchup, it's open season for bacteria to travel right through that paper.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: pissclams on August 03, 2012, 11:15:31 AM
porous medium
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: Unruly on August 03, 2012, 11:16:42 AM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!


I bet fanning is fantastic at checkers.  He see's this awesome play so he does it, only to get double jumped right back.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on August 03, 2012, 12:16:43 PM
Hey dumbasses, just pour a crap load of ketchup on your tray where the paper covers it. If ketchup gets on the tray, that's what the employees job is for, to clean it. You're welcome!

maybe i'm over-stepping my bounds since i've never worked fast food and you probably have....but what makes you think that those paper sheets on the trays are clean?  they probably sit in a huge stack on the floor in the back somewhere, probably infected with hantivirus and brown recluse spiders.
What makes you think those paper ketchup holders are clean? Also, yes, young fanning cooked at sonic & wendys before puberty.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: Cire on August 03, 2012, 12:35:05 PM
Bread won't get soggy if you put a swipe of butter/mayo on it
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 03, 2012, 12:56:18 PM
What makes you think those paper ketchup holders are clean? Also, yes, young fanning cooked at sonic & wendys before puberty.

Wait, so you were like 11 and worked at Wendy's or you hit puberty at age 17?
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on August 03, 2012, 01:02:11 PM
What makes you think those paper ketchup holders are clean? Also, yes, young fanning cooked at sonic & wendys before puberty.

Wait, so you were like 11 and worked at Wendy's or you hit puberty at age 17?
Late bloomer  :embarrassed: I was 15-16.
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 03, 2012, 01:21:06 PM
What makes you think those paper ketchup holders are clean? Also, yes, young fanning cooked at sonic & wendys before puberty.

Wait, so you were like 11 and worked at Wendy's or you hit puberty at age 17?
Late bloomer  :embarrassed: I was 15-16.

It worked out ok for you from what I hear. 
Title: Re: Super Elite Insider Food Secrets That Only Bilderbergs Know
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on August 03, 2012, 01:53:27 PM
What makes you think those paper ketchup holders are clean? Also, yes, young fanning cooked at sonic & wendys before puberty.

Wait, so you were like 11 and worked at Wendy's or you hit puberty at age 17?
Late bloomer  :embarrassed: I was 15-16.

It worked out ok for you from what I hear.
:thumbs: :dance: