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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: felix rex on April 11, 2011, 08:26:06 PM

Title: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: felix rex on April 11, 2011, 08:26:06 PM
Quote
Mr. Devoureau, who was born physically female, is a man at the Motor Vehicle Commission, at the Social Security office, at home, at job interviews. But what about at the urinal?

...An employer fired Mr. Devoureau because it said only a man was allowed to do his job: watching men urinate into plastic cups at a drug treatment center...Last June, Urban Treatment Associates in Camden hired Mr. Devoureau as a part-time urine monitor...


Also, the writer had to laugh a little when he put in this line:

Quote
Mr. Devoureau now has another part-time job, as a package handler for a shipping company.
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Joker on April 12, 2011, 08:57:24 AM
Acrobatic Rigger – sets up equipment for acrobatic troupes
Air Hole Driller – operates machine which makes holes in smoking pipes
Babbitter – adds alloy to metal workpieces
Back Washer – operates machine for washing sliver (a continuous textile strand)
Bed Rubber – operates machine which smoothes stone blocks
Bit Shaver – smoothes mouthpieces of smoking pipes
Bobbin Loose-End Finder - finds and ties broken thread on winding machines
Brilliandeer-Lopper – uses a machine to cut and shape diamonds
Bucket Chucker – operates machine for smoothing inside surface of buckets
Cake Stripper – operates a machine used in the cottonseed oil business
Carroter – conditions fur for use in felt hat manufacture
Chick Sexer – inserts illuminating tool into baby birds to determine gender
Debubblizer – operates equipment which removes bubbles from plastics
Dolly Pusher – moves camera equipment around scene of TV recording / broadcast
End Frazer – operates machinery used in manufacturer of stems for smoking pipes
Flatcar Whacker – maintains and repairs logging rail cars
Fur Blower – runs machinery for fumigating and cleaning furs
Gambreler – hangs animal carcases on hooks ready for preparation
Gang Knife Fish Chopper – chops fish into pieces for canning
Getterer – applies solution to wires in lamp manufacture
Grizzly Worker – breaks rock and ore on quarry conveyor belts and chutes
Hair-Boiler Operator – operates high temperature vats for curling animal hair
Hand Nailer – assembles wooden boxes, pallets and packing cases
Horse Identifier – verifies horses at racetracks
Jet Wiper – wipes spinnerettes through which strands of rayon are produced
Lag Screwer – inserts bolts in table legs
Last Putter-Away - sorts and stores shoe moulds
Lingo Cleaner - cleans metal heddles used in Jacquard loom harnesses
Mother Repairer – improves metal phonograph record matrices
Napper Tender – operates machinery which gives socks a fluffy appearance
Nut Steamer – immerses almonds, pecans etc in hot water to soften shells
Odd Bundle Worker – arranges tobacco leaves on conveyor belt
Odd Shoe Examiner – examines shoe uppers for defective parts
Oyster Floater – spreads shellfish in container to keep fresh / remove impurities
Poultry Offal Icer – shovels ice into chicken waste parts to avoid spoiling
Quill Buncher-and-Sorter – arranges feather types for use in dusters
Redye Hand – sorts and bags hose and panty hose for redying
Roving Sizer – checks output of woollen carding machines
Rug Hooker – operates device to make piles on rugs and carpets
Scarf Gluer – joins together plywood panels
Sea-Foam-Kiss Maker – makes candy kisses and puts them on wax paper to harden
Ski Topper – operates machine that fits plastic strips onto skis
Skull Grinder – cleans ear and nose passages of brained pig heads
Smash Hand – repairs broken yarns on a loom
Smoke Jumper – parachutes in to endangered ares to combat forest fires
Snailer – operates machine which polishes and inscribes clocks and watches
Soft Crab Shedder – helps crabs to shed hard shells so they can be sold as soft-shell crabs
Sulky Driver – takes charge of two-wheel, horse-drawn carriages in races
Sumatra Opener – unbales and stacks tobacco
Targeteer – tests accuracy and functionality of weapons
Top Waddy – organises groups of cowpunchers on a range (also known as Top Screw)
Trip Follower – posts positions of aircraft on a flight-following board
Tubber – tends tumbling machines which clean items to be used as jewellery
Unscrambler – controls movement on food processing conveyor belts
Wax-Ball Knock-Out Worker – removes wax forms from insides of new basketballs
Whizzer – operates felt-hat drying machinery
Winterizer – operates chilling machine for removing stearin from vegetable oils
Worm Picker – patrols grassy areas to find worms for fishing bait
Wrinkle Chaser – uses various tools to remove defects from new shoes
Yeast Pusher - transfers yeast from fermenting cellar to storage tanks
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: The1BigWillie on April 12, 2011, 09:07:39 AM
A friend of my dad's was the guy that stood behind the incoming prisoners as they bent over and spread their butt cheeks to make sure they didn't have any contraband hidden in their crack or up their asses.  A very humbling position.  I'm guessing technology has made this position obsolete by now. 
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: felix rex on April 12, 2011, 09:23:23 AM
A friend of my dad's was the guy that stood behind the incoming prisoners as they bent over and spread their butt cheeks to make sure they didn't have any contraband hidden in their crack or up their asses.  A very humbling position.  I'm guessing technology has made this position obsolete by now. 

Quote
Bobbin Loose-End Finder
Last Putter-Away
Wax-Ball Knock-Out Worker
Worm Picker
Wrinkle Chaser
Yeast Pusher

Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: felix rex on April 12, 2011, 09:25:00 AM
Oh, that urine monitoring position? Sorry. It's just part-time.
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on April 12, 2011, 09:26:38 AM
fluffer
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Dirty Sanchez on April 12, 2011, 11:16:46 AM
wedding photographer
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Johnny Wichita on April 12, 2011, 11:19:00 AM
wedding photographer

 :bwpopcorn:
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: felix rex on April 12, 2011, 11:56:05 AM
part-time fluffer

part-time wedding photographer
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on April 12, 2011, 11:56:54 AM
part-time fluffer

part-time wedding photographer

I actually think full-time fluffer would be worse than part-time.
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: john "teach me how to" dougie on April 12, 2011, 12:56:38 PM
wedding photographer

Quote from: OK_cat
I'm not a Wedding Photographer!  :bawl:
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Ghost of Stan Parrish on April 13, 2011, 06:12:52 PM
Was speaking with an orthodox Hasidic guy.  I asked him his profession, and the answer was "ritual slaughterer."   :horrorsurprise:

(Probably a better story for the awesome-sounding jobs thread.)
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: jtksu on April 13, 2011, 08:04:56 PM
That a dude that does kosher slaughtering?
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Saulbadguy on April 13, 2011, 09:26:01 PM
A one legged cat trying to bury turds on a frozen pond.
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Ghost of Stan Parrish on April 14, 2011, 06:09:22 AM
That a dude that does kosher slaughtering?

That and/or mass murder.
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: pissclams on April 17, 2011, 02:12:33 PM
been giving this a lot of thought.  NHL Hockey coach. 
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: OK_Cat on April 17, 2011, 03:29:05 PM
wedding photographer

Quote from: OK_cat
I'm not a Wedding Photographer!  :bawl:

while i'm not one, the idea of being one is appealing.  According to our friend google, the average cost for a wedding photographer is $3,000.  Assuming a "full-time" photographer works 4 weddings a month (average, of course...some months aren't as wedding-friendly), then that lowly photographer is bringing in 144k a year before taxes/expenses.

Seems like Dirty Sanchez must be AT LEAST bringing in $150,000 a year, or he's just an idiot who insults a profession that clearly is more important than his.

 :popcorn:
Title: Re: Hilariously terrible-sounding jobs
Post by: Dugout DickStone on April 17, 2011, 03:54:04 PM
I enjoyed my stint as a Top Waddy.