Author Topic: Brucepocalypse Now . . .  (Read 1346 times)

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Offline sonofdaxjones

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Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« on: January 05, 2015, 04:32:42 PM »
(non-descript office at the edge of the city limits of Manhattan, KS)

The EMAW Council leader crosses over to a cabinet and picks up a pack of cigarettes, others are gathered in the room, one figure in the shadows of the dimly lit room.

               The leader turns and offers Willard a cigarette from the
               pack.

                                     Leader
                              (to Willard)
                         Do you want a cigarette?

                                     WILLARD
                         No thank you, sir.

                                     COLONEL
                              (pointing at man lingering in the shadowy background)
                         Captain, have you ever seen this
                         gentleman before?

                                     WILLARD
                         No, sir.  Not  personally.

                                     Leader
                         You've worked a lot on your own,
                         haven't you, Captain?

                                     WILLARD
                         Yes, sir, I have.

                                     COLONEL
                         Your report specifies counter coaching operations in multiple states and countries

                                     WILLARD
                         I'm not presently disposed to
                         discuss those operations, sir.

               There is a pause as the leader lights his cigarette, then
               moves to the sofa.  He bends down and picks up a dossier,
               looks at it.

                                     COLONEL
                         Did you not work for the coach eliminators in FIFA
                         Corps?

                                     WILLARD
                              (pause)
                         No, sir.

                                    Leader
                         Did you not terminate a Brazilian soccer
                         coach in San Paulo on 1 December 2009?

               Willard doesn't answer.

                                     Leader
                         Captain?

                                     WILLARD
                         Sir, I am unaware of any such
                         activity or operation, nor would I
                         be disposed to discuss an operation,
                         if it did in fact exist, sir.

               A pause.  Willard is tired and confused and hung over, but
               he is handling himself well.  The leader rises.

                                     Leader
                         I thought we'd have a bit of lunch
                         while we talked.  I hope you brought
                         a good appetite, Captain.

               Willard gets up and moves towards the dining table with
               the Leader and a man, presumably BSAC.  They sit down.

                                     Leader
                         I noticed that you have a bad hand
                         there.  Are you wounded?

                                     WILLARD
                         Had a little fishing accident on an excursion with Benji

                                     Leader
                         Fishing with Benji?

                                     WILLARD
                         Yes, sir.

                                    Leader
                         But you're feeling fit?  You're
                         ready for duty?

                                     WILLARD
                         Yes.  Very much so, sir.

               The food is being passed around.

                                     Leader
                         Well, let's see what we have here. 
                         Roast beef, and usually it's not
                         bad.
                              (to a man, presumably BSAC)
                         Try some,  Pass it around. 
                         To save a little time, we might
                         pass both ways.
                              (to Willard)
                         Captain, I don't know how you feel
                         about this shrimp, but if you eat
                         it, you'll never have to prove
                         your courage in any other way.

               Another co council leader, who is not eating with them, walks to the
               table, holding a small photo.

                                     Leader
                              (to Willard)
                         Captain, you've heard of oscar Weber?

               He shows the photo to Willard.

               (Black and White Photo of Weber)

           

                                     WILLARD
                         Yes, sir.  I've heard the name.

               The Leader accidentally drops the dossier.  Papers, photos,
               etc., scatter all over the floor.  The papers had different university logos on them.  He stoops down to pick
               them up.

                                     Other EMAW Council Leader
                         Jesus...P5 Conference b-ball coach

                         Leader (looking at other council member)
                          would you play that tape,
                         for the captain, please?
                              (to Willard)
                         Listen to it carefully, Captain.

               The Co-Leader moves to a tape recorder and turns it on.

                                     MALE VOICE (ON TAPE) (V.O.)
                         28th December '14, Sector F-O-O-D" 
.                    There were a lot of things that could have happened.
                     Sometimes everything goes against you and it was just one of those games and it is disappointing to take

                                     Leader
                         These were monitored out of
                         Manhattan.  It's been verified as
                         Weber's voice.

               All the men, including Willard, listen in wonder.

                                     Weber (ON TAPE) (V.O.)
                          I did not see how that happened and the ball bounced their way. We won a game two years ago in the same scenario, so there is not much you can say. It was just disappointing.

                                     MALE VOICE (ON TAPE) (V.O.)
                         "Transmission 11, received '14,
                         December 31, , Sector
                         F-O-O-D".

                                     Weber (ON TAPE) (V.O.)
                        Obviously another heartbreaker for us, but give our kids credit.

               The TAPE is TURNED OFF.

                                     Leader
                         oscar Weber was one of the most
                         outstanding mid major basketball coaches around, but his
                          methods, became...unsound.  Unsound.

                                     Co Council Leader
                         Now he's out there running another P5 team into the ground with his recruits, he's murdered . . .

                                     WILLARD
                         I don't follow sir.  Murdered who, murdered what?

                                     Co-Leader
                         Weber is murdering the men's basketball program at Kansas State

                                     Leader
                         Well, you see, Willard, in this
                         business, men sometimes are in over there heads.  Every man
                         has got a breaking point.  You
                         have and I have them. oscar Weber
                         has reached his.  And, very
                         obviously, he cannot handle the job

               Willard looks from the co-leader to the leader to BSAC who is
leaning in from the shadows.  They are intensely interested in his response,
               which they want to be "yes."

                                     WILLARD
                              (carefully)
                         Yes, sir.  Very much so, sir. 
                         Obviously In over his head.

               The three men pull back, satisfied.

                                     Co-Leader
                         Your mission is to proceed to Men's basketball offices at Kansas State University by whatever means available using whatever assets you find available or can obtain and to terminate Weber as head coach of Kansas State Basketball.

                                     WILLARD
                              (to Leader)
                         Terminate...Weber?

                                     Leader
                         He's over there operating without
                         any true major conference program abilities, with no sense of direction

                                     BSAC
                         Terminate with extreme prejudice.

               The civilian hands Willard a cigarette, and lights it for
               him.

                                     Co_leader
                         You understand, Captain, that this
                         mission does not exist, nor will
                         it ever exist.


      
      


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« Last Edit: January 05, 2015, 04:54:41 PM by sonofdaxjones »

Offline EMAWmeister

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Re: Bruceacolypse Now . . .
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2015, 04:34:14 PM »
I'm not reading all of that

Offline Trim

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Re: Bruceacolypse Now . . .
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2015, 04:42:24 PM »
It's a damn shame xtranormal isn't around anymore.

Online michigancat

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Re: Bruceacolypse Now . . .
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2015, 04:47:44 PM »
I think it should have been "Brucepocalypse" instead.

Offline Gooch

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2015, 05:09:42 PM »
I'm not reading all of that
You should it was not bad. (I love that movie tho)

Offline meow meow

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2015, 07:21:12 PM »
The roast beef was the main character, no?

Offline ben ji

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2015, 07:28:40 PM »
Thanks for the mention dax!

Great work as well.

Offline nicname

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2015, 09:58:05 PM »
 :thumbsup:

I'm picturing this as more of a Humphrey Bogat, film noir type flick. Black and white, obviously.
If there was a gif of nicname thwarting the attempted-flag-taker and then gesturing him to suck it, followed by motioning for all of Hilton Shelter to boo him louder, it'd be better than that auburn gif.

Offline kso_FAN

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2015, 10:02:06 PM »
Heh! :D

Offline Skipper44

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2015, 10:14:57 PM »
I love it when dax puts his creative hat on

Offline bones129

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2015, 10:15:52 PM »
I love it when dax puts his creative hat on

Yes, good show dax.

Offline Bookcat

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2015, 04:32:00 AM »
Stan Weber as Dennis Hopper:

"They think you've come to ...take him away...I hope that isn't true" -

Offline bones129

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Re: Brucepocalypse Now . . .
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2015, 07:45:14 AM »
Stan Weber as Dennis Hopper:

"They think you've come to ...take him away...I hope that isn't true" -

 :lol: