Hello friends i am contacting you as a new american football fan from the great land of KAZAKHSTAN. I have picked the Wild Cats (or maybe Rowdy Cats?) as my new favorite team because Kansas is in the middle of northern America and there is a city there. Also, purple is a signal for snow cap run-off in my culture and I love snow cap run-off
1. When the deep voice guys on television say "1st and 10" or "3rd and three" is there a bunch of math involved or is it more simple than that? I don't really want to do any more math than I need to
2. Why is the score for a touchdown 6, and not like...68 or something? Seems arbitrary
3. Are we (the Rowdy Cats fans of Kansas America) going to be good this harvest season? I want promotion into the England Premier League as soon as possible if I'm going to remain a supporter
4. Can the games be moved forward 11 hours? This time differential is going to eff my poophole until it is brown and black
5. There are so many white lines on the field, I feel like I am watching Tron or some movie similar with a bunch of lines. What do the lines mean? Are they like goals?
7. Speaking of colors, the ball is brown. Is this of significance?
8. Is SteveDave on this website as much of a little bitch as she seems to be?
9. How many weapons are allowed in this sport?
10. Speaking of weapons, how is our linebacker depth in terms of short-field cover options, mainly referring to these speedy pass-catching backs that seem to be cropping up in every offense across the Major 5
11. I'm looking into doing crack cocaine in extraordinary amounts in the next few weeks. Am I going to die?
12. There are also too many white numbers on the pitch, begging the question: how much rough ridin' math is involved in this dumb bullshit? Too many white people too.
13. Who would you rather want to eff in a gay way: Ryan Gosling, Max Schneider, Brano Mares, or Brad? My brown friend asked me to ask this just now haha
15. It seems food used to be more pure 150 years ago, what exactly triggered the change from natural food harvesting processes to mass manufacturing, preservatives, and genetic engineering. Was it overpopulation, or something more sinister?
16. THE grass on the pitch always has a bunch of different colored green stripes in it, some light, some dark. Symbolism?
17. When people go into bars with friends, how do they acquire the friends?
18. Why don't they just put all the players lined up before the score line and block all the score attempts? It's the simplest thing in the world outside of simple cell function.
19. The whole sport seems arbitrary?
20. Is everything arbitrary?
14. How do you know if you are gay?