No but for real here are some pieces of advice that worked for me.
Do whatever it takes to not hate it the first 5-10 times. That means don't overdo it by trying to run too far or too many times a week at first. Run distances that are long enough to make you feel good about yourself but that leave you room for immediate growth. Also running too much at first puts you at serious risk for injury. 3 times a week is good, with at least one day or two in between.
Also, since it's balls hot right now, definitely run in the morning or evenings. If you run when it's way too hot you will get sunburns and you will sweat and it will suck and you'll get discouraged and never do it again. Plus, running in the morning is a great way to feel really elite, like you're better than other people because they're all lazy and you're out there. I almost never run in the mornings.
Download a running app.It will track your progress in a visible way, and it will play tunes while you run. Or you can listen to podcasts to pass the time, too. But it will record your times and distances and everything like that, and most have other bells and whistles that are p. sweet. I've only ever used the free Nike+ Running app. It's pretty good but I'm sure there are others that are good too.
If you really want to get into running long-term, budget about $200-$250 or so for the initial investment.Seems like a lot, but it's worth it imo. Spending this money on various things has helped me avoid injury and made it way more fun.
The main chunk of that is gonna come from the shoes. You should DEFINITELY get running shoes, and good ones. Don't just go to CostCo and buy the $20 white Fila shoes. Go to a bonafide running store with gait analysis. Don't know where you live but any decent-sized city should have at least one place that does this. (Manhattan Running Company on Anderson on the west side of town is where I got mine.) They set up a video camera and have you run on a treadmill and videotape it, then they tell you which shoes will best help you avoid injury. I tried many running stints in college/after, and it always came to a halt after about two weeks because I was just running in tennis shoes and ended up getting horrific shin splints. It wasn't until I bought running shoes last October that it really caught on for me. Aim to spend somewhere around $125. Most are good for about 400 miles, I think.
Another thing I would recommend buying is compression socks or compression calf sleeve thingies. Available online, but again I would recommend getting one pair in a running store that can measure your calves perfectly. Also pricey, like $40-$50 for one really good pair, which is really all you need. Running shoes and compression socks have been a running lifesaver for me.
The other stuff is just like things that make it way more fun (or even just tolerable). Stuff like $7 wraparound headphones, $15 or so for an armband for your phone so you can listen to music, etc. etc. I keep all my running stuff together in a tub thingy, but a shoebox would work too. Oh, and $3 for Vaseline, which you should always put on before a run unless you enjoy raw nips. Oh, and I rough ridin' love my
foam roller. Once you run enough to know that it is going to stick and you're going to do it long-term, definitely get that to feel amazing after a long run. Bookmark
YouTube video and use it as your guide the first few times 'til you figure it out.
Read a few pages of this thread whenever you need motivation:http://www.the-mainboard.com/index.php?threads/the-distance-running-thread.117755/They seem to have a pretty good thing going on over there. Haven't read the entire thread but it seems to have a wide variety of people. Fair warning: TMB is sometimes NSFW, so keep that in mind.
Add a little bit to your distance every day.I would say try to add around .25 miles each time. If you can't do that much at first, that's okay. Just try to get a little further every time. It's important to be able to see progress to stay motivated. Oh and there's a lot of really quick growth in the beginning for most people, which is great so enjoy that.
Figure out what style of breathing works best for youJust doing the thing where you wheeze right off the bat at the beginning of a run will make you miserable. Think about it as you're doing it, and be measured. There are a bunch of different methods of breathing and I've never been properly trained or whatever, but here's what works for me. I like to start out taking deep breaths that coincide with my footsteps. So I'll slowly inhale for 4 steps and then slowly exhale for 4 steps. As my run goes on and my lung capacity decreases, I'll shorten it to 3 steps inhale, 4 steps exhale. Then 3x3, then 3x2, then 2x2. If you find yourself super short of breath at any time then just slow down for a bit until it comes back to you.
When you start to feel it click, register for a race.Doesn't even matter if it's just like a 2 mile'r or whatever. 5K is a good goal if you have a month or two to prepare. Races are really fun and definitely preferable to running alone because there's a fun energy around them. And they usually give you timer gadgets and bibs and things and usually you get a shirt. Here in Louisiana, most races have free food and beer and stuff at the end. Occasionally peep the Running in the USA website to find one in your area. Oh, and if it's a decent sized race and you are a poor you can just sneak into the race without paying. No one will know. Can't recommend this though because I enjoy free shirts.
http://www.runningintheusa.com/Race/Default.aspxWhen starting out, do not worry about your speed. At all.Worry instead about just finishing, even if it takes you a long-ass time.
Try your best to not be publicly annoying.Seriously, nobody on facebook gives a crap. And talk about it a little bit with people but not too much because it can get really tiresome if that other person isn't a runner stud like you.