Poll

Who should be the lead investigator for outting squawks?

MakeItRain
2 (13.3%)
Scoops
2 (13.3%)
Chingon
3 (20%)
pissclams
1 (6.7%)
Trim
1 (6.7%)
PoonHound69
2 (13.3%)
Dlew12
4 (26.7%)

Total Members Voted: 15

Voting closed: July 11, 2011, 05:37:38 PM

Author Topic: Squawk outting thread (VOTING FOR LEAD INVESTIGATOR OPEN!)  (Read 22871 times)

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Offline Kat Kid

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Squawk outting thread (VOTING FOR LEAD INVESTIGATOR OPEN!)
« on: July 06, 2011, 12:03:20 PM »
It is with regret that I post this thread.  Some of you may have noticed that clams has been acting strangely lately.  "Sure, but that's just clams bro.  clams is his name, strange is his game," you say.  Well some possibly uncomfortable truths must be revealed.  Some important questions must be asked.  These whispers have for too long been confined to the whispers of pm's and the admin board.  No more!  Empirical matters shall be brought in to the light to be judged in public.

Without revealing EMAW, LLC intellectual proprietary knowledge, I will disclose that there are statistical metrics that have unequivocally and scientifically discerned increases in squawk activity on the boards.  This is not the time to randomly point fingers or wage witch hunts.  But it is time to begin appointing a team of investigators to seek truth at the lowest and highest levels of goEMAW.  Deception is the mortal enemy of truth and we shall sleigh the serpentine beast of Falsehood in these fields.

I nominate Chingon to assume the role of lead investigator and rick daris to accompany him as deputy.  The first investigation shall focus on outting squawks, even among the highest positions within the goEMAW corporate boardroom.  The minions will settle for nothing less than a complete and thorough report and they deserve nothing less.

I will allow for seconds, further nominations and discussion below.  At sundown tomorrow (Thursday, July 7th) voting will be closed and we will post a poll to be administered during regular business hours (6am to 6pm) Friday July 8th so that the investigators may have the weekend to gather themselves for the difficult task at hand in the coming days.

Please direct any queries to myself in full public view below.

Sincerely,

Tortuga
Executive Asst. Communications Director, Ministry of Openness
Lead Executive Liason to Internal Investigations


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« Last Edit: July 09, 2011, 05:38:18 PM by Tortuga »

Offline Johnny Wichita

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2011, 12:06:05 PM »
I nominate myself to represent the lowest levels of goEMAW.  I have a pretty good resume of outing squawks. 

Offline OK_Cat

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2011, 12:28:54 PM »
It is with regret that I post this thread.  Some of you may have noticed that clams has been acting strangely lately.  "Sure, but that's just clams bro.  clams is his name, strange is his game," you say.  Well some possibly uncomfortable truths must be revealed.  Some important questions must be asked.  These whispers have for too long been confined to the whispers of pm's and the admin board.  No more!  Empirical matters shall be brought in to the light to be judged in public.

Without revealing EMAW, LLC intellectual proprietary knowledge, I will disclose that there are statistical metrics that have unequivocally and scientifically discerned increases in squawk activity on the boards.  This is not the time to randomly point fingers or wage witch hunts.  But it is time to begin appointing a team of investigators to seek truth at the lowest and highest levels of goEMAW.  Deception is the mortal enemy of truth and we shall sleigh the serpentine beast of Falsehood in these fields.

I nominate Chingon to assume the role of lead investigator and rick daris to accompany him as deputy.  The first investigation shall focus on outting squawks, even among the highest positions within the goEMAW corporate boardroom.  The minions will settle for nothing less than a complete and thorough report and they deserve nothing less.

I will allow for seconds, further nominations and discussion below.  At sundown tomorrow (Thursday, July 7th) voting will be closed and we will post a poll to be administered during regular business hours (6am to 6pm) Friday July 8th so that the investigators may have the weekend to gather themselves for the difficult task at hand in the coming days.

Please direct any queries to myself in full public view below.

Sincerely,

Tortuga
Executive Asst. Communications Director, Ministry of Openness
Lead Executive Liason to Internal Investigations


this all sounds like something a squawk would say, imo.

#teamclams

Offline ChiComCat

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2011, 12:36:03 PM »
If its all the same, I prefer the witch hunt method.

If that is already off the table, I nominate Winters for deputy.  We can't have both positions filled by Mods.  Who knows who they will protect?  They have too much at stake to be impartial.

Offline CHONGS

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2011, 12:55:10 PM »
I agree something must be done, and I humbly accept your nomination.  Rest assured all you EMAWs out there that I will be fair and impartial.  Please feel free to pm me details of any suspicious posting activities you notice.  Your anonymity is secure with me.

Offline Pete

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2011, 01:04:08 PM »
If its all the same, I prefer the witch hunt method.

If that is already off the table, I nominate Winters for deputy.  We can't have both positions filled by Mods.  Who knows who they will protect?  They have too much at stake to be impartial.

This.


Need some representation by the proletariat on this thing.  Plus, non-mods usually ask stupid questions, and responding to stupid questions can make people (read: squawks) misstep. 

Also, I am in favor a secondary group to covertly oversee the first group, in an effort to ensure fair play and effective squawk outing.  It's vitally important that the second group be anonymous and report directly to BSAC.  Probably should be nominated by someone who isn't in the first group.  I nominate Clams for that, since he obviously won't be in the first group, and he loves the rough ridin' crap out of secret societies.




Offline wetwillie

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2011, 01:07:23 PM »
If we discover in our own private investigations that we are actually a squawk are we obligated to report it?
When the bullets are flying, that's when I'm at my best

Offline 0.42

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2011, 01:08:50 PM »
I have a list of demands for my inevitable stake-burning:

  • The stake must, and I mean must, be made out of cherry mahogany.
  • A Neil Diamond record must be playing while you dumbasses are taking like 20 minutes to try and find a thing to light a fire with. Yeah, go buy a record player, you heathens.
  • Bob Strawn must read my last rites. I will not negotiate over this.


Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2011, 01:09:01 PM »
If we discover in our own private investigations that we are actually a squawk are we obligated to report it?

I think you just did, squawk.

Offline Johnny Wichita

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2011, 01:10:44 PM »
I humbly accept your nomination. 

Your nomination hasn't been seconded yet fuckface.  Just settle down. 

Offline Pete

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2011, 01:12:00 PM »
I humbly accept your nomination. 

Your nomination hasn't been seconded yet fuckface.  Just settle down. 

JFC, glad someone said it.  Thank you.

Offline wetwillie

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2011, 01:13:31 PM »
If we discover in our own private investigations that we are actually a squawk are we obligated to report it?

I think you just did, squawk.

Everyone knows you can't report yourself, first of many squawks outed.  You are welcome Chingon.
When the bullets are flying, that's when I'm at my best

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2011, 01:15:31 PM »
If we discover in our own private investigations that we are actually a squawk are we obligated to report it?

I think you just did, squawk.

Everyone knows you can't report yourself, first of many squawks outed.  You are welcome Chingon.

Whether you are allowed to report yourself or not, everyone knows what you are now.







Justice for Caylee.

Offline CHONGS

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2011, 01:17:13 PM »
I humbly accept your nomination.  

Your nomination hasn't been seconded yet fuckface.  Just settle down.  
interaction noted

Offline CHONGS

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2011, 01:19:18 PM »
If you find squawk activities and you don't report them, that is considered unEMAW like activity.  If we find out you have been uncooperative that will automatically trigger an investigation.

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2011, 01:20:29 PM »
If you find squawk activities and you don't report them, that is considered unEMAW like activity.  If we find out you have been uncooperative that will automatically trigger an investigation.

Should we report all activities to this thread or just use a pm?

Offline pissclams

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2011, 01:22:25 PM »
There's a lot of stuff that needs to come to the forefront during this investigation.  Will it?  Lulz, of course not.


Let me take each of you readers with me on a trip in my time machine.  Where are we going?  To the place in time after this investigation concludes.  What is the result?  The result is the same chodes doing the same chode like crap.  Squawks everywhere squawking around like a bunch of mongloids.  Good luck with that.

This whole scene smells exactly like what it is, complete bulllshit.


Cheesy Mustache QB might make an appearance.

New warning: Don't get in a fight with someone who doesn't even need to bother to buy ink.

Offline Kat Kid

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2011, 01:22:56 PM »
If we discover in our own private investigations that we are actually a squawk are we obligated to report it?

Yes.  Procedural due process is your only path to salvation.

Offline Pete

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #18 on: July 06, 2011, 01:23:48 PM »
Oregoncat is always posting stuff about KU.

Offline Kat Kid

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #19 on: July 06, 2011, 01:29:17 PM »
Pete, Wichita your concerns are duly noted.  I must clarify, Chingon has not yet been elected as lead investigator.  Chingon will report any squawk related activity (as we are all obliged to do under our user agreements) and has of course assumed the "interim" title commensurate with my nomination, his acceptance and his sterling reputation.

Offline CHONGS

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #20 on: July 06, 2011, 01:35:20 PM »
If you find squawk activities and you don't report them, that is considered unEMAW like activity.  If we find out you have been uncooperative that will automatically trigger an investigation.

Should we report all activities to this thread or just use a pm?
If your EMAW is so weak that you wish to remain anonymous, feel free to PM the information.

Offline slimz

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2011, 01:45:01 PM »
Tortuga:

(I meant to send this to you earlier this week. However, I believe much of it is still relevant.)

In the football board Thursday night I stated that goEMAW harbors a nest of squawks and squawk sympathizers who are helping to shape our message board dialogue. I further stated that I have in my possession the names of 57 squawks who are registered with goEMAW at present. A goEMAW moderator promptly denied this, claiming that there is not a single squawk at goEMAW. You can convince yourself of the falsity of the goEMAW claim very easily. You will recall that you personally appointed a board to screen goEMAW posters for the purpose of weeding out squawks—posters whom the mods considered dangerous to the security of this message board. Your board did a painstaking job, and named hundreds which had been listed as dangerous to the security of the message board, because of squawk connections.

While the records are not available to me, I know absolutely of one group of approximately 300 posters certified to the goEMAW moderators for banning because of squawkism.  They have actually only banned approximately 8. I understand that this was done after lengthy consultation with the now-convicted traitor, Bosz56. I would suggest, therefore, Tortuga, that you simply pick up your phone and ask the other moderators how many of those whom your board had labeled as dangerous squawks they failed to ban. The day the KSUFANS Un-EMAW Activities Committee exposed Bosz56 as an important link in a Lawrence squawk message board ring you signed an order forbidding goEMAW from giving any information in regard to the disloyalty or the squawk connections of anyone on that board to the goEMAW posters.

Despite this goEMAW moderator black-out, we have been able to compile a list of 57 squawks at goEMAW. This list is available to you but you can get a much longer list by ordering the other goEMAW mods to give you a list of those whom your own mods listed as being squawks and who are still posting at goEMAW. I believe the following is the minimum which can be expected of you in this case.

1. That you demand that pissclams give you and the proper goEMAW mods the names and a complete report on all of those who were mods at KSUFANS under Bosz56, and all of those still posting at goEMAW who were listed by your mods as bad posters because of their squawk connections.

2. That you promptly revoke the order in which you provided under no circumstances could a goEMAW poster obtain any information or help in exposing squawks. (It appears you have begun to rectify this today.)

Failure on your part will label goEMAW as being the bedfellow of international squawkism. Certainly this label is not deserved by the hundreds of loyal EMAW posters throughout the board, and by the sizable number of able loyal EMAWs in goEMAW management.

Sincerely,

slimz

Offline ChiComCat

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #22 on: July 06, 2011, 02:10:59 PM »
Lead investigator: MIR
Deputy: Winters
2nd Deputy: Poonhound69

If these are not the three running this, then any chance of this being done properly is nonexistent

Offline steve dave

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #23 on: July 06, 2011, 02:12:50 PM »
I nominate scoops as lead

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: Squawk outting thread (nomination of lead and deputy investigator)
« Reply #24 on: July 06, 2011, 02:19:46 PM »
I nominate scoops as lead

I second that nomination