-Drop the crap out of mortgage interest rates for internet and irl friend steve dave
-$1B to Texas State (50% sports 50% academics, on the condition that the current athletic director gets canned)
-$1B to KSU (50% sports 50% academics, on the condition that we somehow find a way to get #LIFE back on the roster)
-Vacation across Europe & Asia
-Probably a couple of nice (not opulent) houses in Austin and Wyoming and MHK
-Buy Everton, wreck the crap out of the EPL
-Probably buy off some local election somewhere and install pissclams as mayor/governor/supreme overlord whatever gocats thing
-Finally have a reason to go into the "New to Investing" thread
-Does Sharper Image still exist? Because oh man.