You wake up in the middle of the night with a girl and you have to fart...

[jeffy]

I couldn't possibly eat more sauerkraut and fried cheese.

Then how does she feel anything more than a warm breeze on her legs?

[purplebybirth]

I did it again last night, you guys.   

This time I said, "I think you're just going to have to resign yourself to the fact that I am a gassy individual," and fell right back asleep.

how she acts in the next 48 hours will determine if she is a keeper or not

[SkinnyBenny]

She's a keeper. 

Related: why doesn't this thread have more than two pages?  Are that many ksufans posters  ?

[kst8cat]

She's a keeper. 

Related: why doesn't this thread have more than two pages?  Are that many ksufans posters  ?

Maybe because not everybody is a big fart blossom like you.

 

[SkinnyBenny]

 

[kst8catfan]

 

It's totally sad that I'm wasting my first post on this thread.
But, you bastards have got me rolling on my office floor.
I'm sure my employees here at KAZZU know for sure that I'm going nutz.

[SkinnyBenny]

How is that sad?  I'd call it......honorable.

[The1BigWillie]

I held one last night from about 12:30am to 7:30am.  Had relations before going to sleep and this morning before making my exit.  Began the farting process on the way down the stairs while leaving the house.  She had fans going so I know she couldn't (shouldn't) have heard it.  I pretty much farted pretty loudly all the way down the stairs, while sliding my flip flops on, opening the door, out the door, and halfway to my car.  At least 30 seconds. No leakage. Loud.  Felt incredible.

[kst8catfan]

Sad, because you'd think that someone as chronologically gifted as myself would have grown out of the fart-fun stage.
But, to quote Danny Devito, "poop is FUNNY".

[SkinnyBenny]

It seems inherently ironic to me that you would say "I should have grown up by now" and then in the very next sentence quote a man who...should have 'grown up' by now.

[kst8catfan]

I SHOULD have grown up, but apparently I still have some foolishness in me.  I think that's a good thing, though.  Maybe I'll have grandkids someday and can go back to inventing ways to "lose pressure" like I did when my own kids were little.

[SkinnyBenny]

I think my Danny DeVito is short joke went unnoticed.   

[kst8cat]

Read this article by the Sexpert, and apparently most of you are drinking very cheap beer.  If you drink the more expensive stuff like me you wouldn't have those problems.

 

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,533260,00.html?test=faces

6. Never drink cheap beer and stay overnight.

While your choice beverage may have made things a hoot last night, it runs the risk of making you toot the next morning. Don’t set yourself up to be someone’s gassy guest. Get the walk of shame over with sooner rather than later, lest you stink up someone’s bedroom and bathroom. This is not the kind of lasting impression most seducers are after.

[jthutch]

I think my Danny DeVito is short joke went unnoticed.   

I saw what you did there.  Just now read it though.

[SkinnyBenny]

That so-called sexpert doesn't know what she's talking about.  I'd much rather drink 17 Keystones, have an awesome time for less $$, and get super gassy than buy one retardedly expensive imported preemie and nurse it all night just to save myself a little embarrassment.  I sure would like to fart on her legs, though.

 

[SkinnyBenny]

Just did it again.

Told her, "you're welcome."



-----------------------------------------------------------------
  This message sent from her stinky bed. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------

[pwrcat1]

That so-called sexpert doesn't know what she's talking about.  I'd much rather drink 17 Keystones, have an awesome time for less $$, and get super gassy than buy one retardedly expensive imported preemie and nurse it all night just to save myself a little embarrassment.  I sure would like to fart on her legs, though.

 

I'd rather dump the Keystone out and spend money I don't necessarily have on the 17 "preemies."  jmo.

[JTKSU]

dutch oven

+ Infinity

I'm a big fan of waiting for her to roll over and put her arm around you before letting it fly.  I did this several times before the old lady figured out that she could actually feel my abs tighten as I was preparing to push it out.  Really solves two problems at once, no more GI pain for me and she is now terrified to spoon with me so I don't have a human space heater touching me all night.

[SkinnyBenny]

Update, guys:

Ms. Alaska appears to be totally cool with farting all the time!

 

[willie83]

Update, guys:

Ms. Alaska appears to be totally cool with farting all the time!

 

She should run for president. Love that kind of no-nonsense, down and dirty mentality.

[Thin Blue Line]

Update, guys:

Ms. Alaska appears to be totally cool with farting all the time!

 

Haven't eaten jalapeno's yet, have ya?