My friend is a jesus freak (jesus freaks gtfo of my thread)

[rundown87]

Name one church that lets anyone (except the youth group members that some older dude is trying to poke) drink win in church.

That is the oldest attempt at "catholics trying to be cool" since they chose to align themselves with hitler and the nazis.

There are a lot of churches that have wine as communion.

Name 3.

What do you mean by Churches?  Do you mean denominations, or Physical churches?  beacause that would make my answer vary greatly.

[LimestoneOutcropping]

Name one church that lets anyone (except the youth group members that some older dude is trying to poke) drink win in church.

That is the oldest attempt at "catholics trying to be cool" since they chose to align themselves with hitler and the nazis.

There are a lot of churches that have wine as communion.

Name 3.

What do you mean by Churches?  Do you mean denominations, or Physical churches?  beacause that would make my answer vary greatly.

Start with denominations.

[jmlynch1]

Name one church that lets anyone (except the youth group members that some older dude is trying to poke) drink win in church.

That is the oldest attempt at "catholics trying to be cool" since they chose to align themselves with hitler and the nazis.

There are a lot of churches that have wine as communion.

Name 3.

What do you mean by Churches?  Do you mean denominations, or Physical churches?  beacause that would make my answer vary greatly.

Start with denominations.

I'm pretty sure that its up to the church specifically. Growing up, my Lutheran church always served wine, but there was the option of having grape juice. Probably for the recovering alcoholics.

[rundown87]

Name one church that lets anyone (except the youth group members that some older dude is trying to poke) drink win in church.

That is the oldest attempt at "catholics trying to be cool" since they chose to align themselves with hitler and the nazis.

There are a lot of churches that have wine as communion.

Name 3.

What do you mean by Churches?  Do you mean denominations, or Physical churches?  beacause that would make my answer vary greatly.

Start with denominations.

Catholics (obv.) Lutherans (less obv. but still v/obv.) some Baptist churches, a lot of non-denominational churches.  To be honest, taking a sip of wine will not get anyone drunk or even slightly buzzed.

[ksuno1stunner]

what do u guys think of buddhism?  pretty cool right?  all that zen, incense, temples, monks, good luck, etc?

i think i have the coolest religion.

wrong. muslim is better. 1 billion strong, and growing.  

i'm porud to be islam. we have the best religion, and are taking over the world.

nowhere as cool.  we can have a war over it though if u want

[LimestoneOutcropping]

Name one church that lets anyone (except the youth group members that some older dude is trying to poke) drink win in church.

That is the oldest attempt at "catholics trying to be cool" since they chose to align themselves with hitler and the nazis.

There are a lot of churches that have wine as communion.

Name 3.

What do you mean by Churches?  Do you mean denominations, or Physical churches?  beacause that would make my answer vary greatly.

Start with denominations.

Catholics (obv.) Lutherans (less obv. but still v/obv.) some Baptist churches, a lot of non-denominational churches.  To be honest, taking a sip of wine will not get anyone drunk or even slightly buzzed.

Have been to both Christmas and Easter at catholic church in past year and not a drop of wine anywhere in the house.  Even for a full latin mass at st. Patrick's.

I agree they all USED TO but no one anywhere does it anymore.

[jthutch]

This is a fun one for the Christians out there.   

Event/person                             Horus                                          Jesus

Conception                        Immaculate, virgin mother           Immaculate, virgin mother

Father                                Only beloved son of God              Only beloved son of God

Mother                               Isis-Meri                                            Miriam (Mary)

Worldly father                   Seb (Jo-seph)                              Joseph

Place of birth                     Cave                                          Cave or a barn

Announcement of arrival   Angel to mother Isis                     Angel to mother Miriam

Birth accompanied by        Sirius morning star                       Unidentified `star in the east`

Date of birth                       Dec 21                                       Dec 25

Witnesses of birth             Shepherds                                    Shepherds

Later witnesses                 Three Solar divinities                  Three wise men

Death threats                    Herut attempted murder            Herod attempted murder

Age or ritual `initiation`   12                                               12

Age unfamiliar                   No information between the          No information between the       

                                           ages of 12  and 30                       ages of 12  and 30

Place of baptism               River Eridanus                              River Jordan

Age when baptised            30                                              30

Baptist                               Anup the Baptizer                          John the Baptist

Baptist`s fate                    Beheaded                                   Beheaded

Temptation                        Taken up mountain by Sut (Set)                      Taken up mountain by Satan

Result of temptation         Horus resisted                             Jesus resisted

Miracles                             Walked on water, purged            Walked on water, purged

                                          demons, cured the sick,              demons, cured the sick,

                                         restored vision to the blind      restored vision to the blind

Raising the dead               Horus raised his father Osiris       Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead



Key Address:               Sermon on the Mount.                 Sermon on the Mount.

Accompanied by:         Two thieves.                                 Two thieves.

Burial                             In a tomb.                                      In a tomb.

Fate after death:             Descended into Hell; resurrected after 3 days.       Descended into Hell; resurrected after 3 days.

Resurrection announced by:  Women.                          Women.

Main role:                        Savior of humanity.                     Savior of humanity.

Status:                              God-man.                                    God-man.

Title:                                  KRST, the anointed one.           Christ, the anointed one.

Other names: The good shepherd, the lamb of God, the bread of life, the son of man, the Word, the fisher, the winnower.

The good shepherd, the lamb of God, the bread of life, the son of man, the Word, the fisher, the winnower.

An important `sermon on the mount` is mentioned with Horus, while `sermon on the mountain` is mentioned with Jesus. Both Horus and Jesus were crucified and both died in the company of two thieves. They were buried in tombs and resurrected three days later. Resurrections in both cases were announced by women.

The title both had was the Saviour of humanity, and both were immaculately conceived. Horus is called Krst , or `the anointed one` while Jesus is called Christ the anointed.

The Christian God isn't very original I guess. 
 

Or, the other way around.

[rundown87]

Have been to both Christmas and Easter at catholic church in past year and not a drop of wine anywhere in the house.  Even for a full latin mass at st. Patrick's.

I agree they all USED TO but no one anywhere does it anymore.

That must just be your church that you go to, because I've been to about 3 Catholic churches within the past year and they use real wine, and the Lutheran church I went to this past Sunday had real wine.

[KSt8er]

Or, the other way around.

Well, except for the fact that Horus was dreamed up by the Egyptians 3000 years before someone decided to make a "new" religion surrounding a guy named Jesus for their own agenda, power and money of course.  The only thing is they made Jesus a character that actually walked on Earth, whereas the Egyptian people would never fall for that, even if the story were created 200 years after said walking god died. 

Religion divides people through imaginary lines of belief.  If anything, using from religion, the belief in Satan, then religion would have to be of Satanic design.  Why would any God send his people a book knowing Satan or man would write others that would win more souls (if you believe in the Bible there can be no other belief or you go to hell). 

It tells you what to believe and man's need to be a part to a group, the "right" group, takes it from there.  It serves man only, it says you get another life after this one which everyone wants to believe, while simultaneously giving you the proverbial "get out of hell" card through some form of repentance.   Well, that and the God (whichever religion) has his need for recognition and you must give him his cred or he'll send you to hell.  All while justifying that outcome and placing the blame squarely on his (failed) creation.   

[rundown87]

Or, the other way around.

Well, except for the fact that Horus was dreamed up by the Egyptians 3000 years before someone decided to make a "new" religion surrounding a guy named Jesus for their own agenda, power and money of course.  The only thing is they made Jesus a character that actually walked on Earth, whereas the Egyptian people would never fall for that, even if the story were created 200 years after said walking god died. 

Religion divides people through imaginary lines of belief.  If anything, using from religion, the belief in Satan, then religion would have to be of Satanic design.  Why would any God send his people a book knowing Satan or man would write others that would win more souls (if you believe in the Bible there can be no other belief or you go to hell). 

It tells you what to believe and man's need to be a part to a group, the "right" group, takes it from there.  It serves man only, it says you get another life after this one which everyone wants to believe, while simultaneously giving you the proverbial "get out of hell" card through some form of repentance.   Well, that and the God (whichever religion) has his need for recognition and you must give him his cred or he'll send you to hell.  All while justifying that outcome and placing the blame squarely on his (failed) creation.   

You do realize that Jesus was a real person. . .and not just a made up figure.  I mean, you can agree or disagree that he was or was not who christians believe he was, but you can't deny that he was an actual person.

[Oklahoma_Cat]

Or, the other way around.

Well, except for the fact that Horus was dreamed up by the Egyptians 3000 years before someone decided to make a "new" religion surrounding a guy named Jesus for their own agenda, power and money of course.  The only thing is they made Jesus a character that actually walked on Earth, whereas the Egyptian people would never fall for that, even if the story were created 200 years after said walking god died. 

Religion divides people through imaginary lines of belief.  If anything, using from religion, the belief in Satan, then religion would have to be of Satanic design.  Why would any God send his people a book knowing Satan or man would write others that would win more souls (if you believe in the Bible there can be no other belief or you go to hell). 

It tells you what to believe and man's need to be a part to a group, the "right" group, takes it from there.  It serves man only, it says you get another life after this one which everyone wants to believe, while simultaneously giving you the proverbial "get out of hell" card through some form of repentance.   Well, that and the God (whichever religion) has his need for recognition and you must give him his cred or he'll send you to hell.  All while justifying that outcome and placing the blame squarely on his (failed) creation.   

You do realize that Jesus was a real person. . .and not just a made up figure.  I mean, you can agree or disagree that he was or was not who christians believe he was, but you can't deny that he was an actual person.

GTFO of here, do you have his birth certificatte? 

I go to church every week, but I am well aware that there was never some mystical d00d named Jesus.

[KSt8er]

You do realize that Jesus was a real person. . .and not just a made up figure.  I mean, you can agree or disagree that he was or was not who christians believe he was, but you can't deny that he was an actual person.

Who just happened to live the same life as a mythical person from 3000 years previous.  Yes, very convincing, he must have been quite the original figure around town(s).   

[Kat Kid]

Name one church that lets anyone (except the youth group members that some older dude is trying to poke) drink win in church.

That is the oldest attempt at "catholics trying to be cool" since they chose to align themselves with hitler and the nazis.

There are a lot of churches that have wine as communion.

Name 3.

What do you mean by Churches?  Do you mean denominations, or Physical churches?  beacause that would make my answer vary greatly.

Start with denominations.

Catholics (obv.) Lutherans (less obv. but still v/obv.) some Baptist churches, a lot of non-denominational churches.  To be honest, taking a sip of wine will not get anyone drunk or even slightly buzzed.

Have been to both Christmas and Easter at catholic church in past year and not a drop of wine anywhere in the house.  Even for a full latin mass at st. Patrick's.

I agree they all USED TO but no one anywhere does it anymore.

Episcopals/Catholics in Manhattan.  Not positive because I don't take communion, but my wife has like a couple times.

[catdude33]

You do realize that Jesus was a real person. . .and not just a made up figure.  I mean, you can agree or disagree that he was or was not who christians believe he was, but you can't deny that he was an actual person.

Who just happened to live the same life as a mythical person from 3000 years previous.  Yes, very convincing, he must have been quite the original figure around town(s).   

LOL.  Arguing that the person of Jesus didn't exist is like arguing that Abraham Lincoln didn't exist.  Clearly you are skeptical of Christianity, which is fine, but try not to be completely retarded.

[Bookcat]

If Jesus was a real person...


then Jesus whacked off....at least twice a week.



Because if he abstained from sex...(as the bible tells us).....there is no way he never waxed the holy carrot or he would be the grumpiest, grouchy, irritable prophet since Mohammed.

[KSt8er]

LOL.  Arguing that the person of Jesus didn't exist is like arguing that Abraham Lincoln didn't exist.  Clearly you are skeptical of Christianity, which is fine, but try not to be completely retarded.

You believe in Lincoln too!  BWAAA HAAAA HAAAA   

[LimestoneOutcropping]

Have been to both Christmas and Easter at catholic church in past year and not a drop of wine anywhere in the house.  Even for a full latin mass at st. Patrick's.

I agree they all USED TO but no one anywhere does it anymore.

That must just be your church that you go to, because I've been to about 3 Catholic churches within the past year and they use real wine, and the Lutheran church I went to this past Sunday had real wine.

2 different catholic churches.  No wine.  Name the one you go to that has real wine with an alcohol content.

[Rick Daris]

i wish i was religous. my wife is. i also wish i could dunk a basketball.

[Bookcat]

I'm cool with religion and all. All forms...its just the hypocrisy that comes with it is beyond hysterical.


Like, for example, the guy who holds the posters in the streets of Aggieville when we're out drinking telling everyone of the evils of consuming alcohol. Every time I see the doucher I ask him his thoughts on the FACT that there are over 200 references to drinking wine in the New Testament. A few things usually happen.

1. Turbo christian isn't aware of this fact.

2. Wine is okay because it was drank back in those days because it was safer than water. LOL WTF

3. It was consumed in moderation. (how they know this I don't know)




Just laughable bullcrap. I mean c'mon. Would it be so wrong for Jesus to tie one on before he was crucified? Hell, I'll tie one on for less impending doom that being beat to death and hung on a cross.

[LimestoneOutcropping]

i wish i was religous. my wife is. i also wish i could dunk a basketball.

I used to feel that way.  About religion AND dunking.  Now I think they are both kind of bad for different reasons.

[rundown87]

Have been to both Christmas and Easter at catholic church in past year and not a drop of wine anywhere in the house.  Even for a full latin mass at st. Patrick's.

I agree they all USED TO but no one anywhere does it anymore.

That must just be your church that you go to, because I've been to about 3 Catholic churches within the past year and they use real wine, and the Lutheran church I went to this past Sunday had real wine.

2 different catholic churches.  No wine.  Name the one you go to that has real wine with an alcohol content.

It's actually in manhattan, I don't know the name of it, it's the one my grandparents go to.

[ArchE_Cat]

This is a fun one for the Christians out there.   

Event/person                             Horus                                          Jesus

Conception                        Immaculate, virgin mother           Immaculate, virgin mother

Father                                Only beloved son of God              Only beloved son of God

Mother                               Isis-Meri                                            Miriam (Mary)

Worldly father                   Seb (Jo-seph)                              Joseph

Place of birth                     Cave                                          Cave or a barn

Announcement of arrival   Angel to mother Isis                     Angel to mother Miriam

Birth accompanied by        Sirius morning star                       Unidentified `star in the east`

Date of birth                       Dec 21                                       Dec 25

Witnesses of birth             Shepherds                                    Shepherds

Later witnesses                 Three Solar divinities                  Three wise men

Death threats                    Herut attempted murder            Herod attempted murder

Age or ritual `initiation`   12                                               12

Age unfamiliar                   No information between the          No information between the       

                                           ages of 12  and 30                       ages of 12  and 30

Place of baptism               River Eridanus                              River Jordan

Age when baptised            30                                              30

Baptist                               Anup the Baptizer                          John the Baptist

Baptist`s fate                    Beheaded                                   Beheaded

Temptation                        Taken up mountain by Sut (Set)                      Taken up mountain by Satan

Result of temptation         Horus resisted                             Jesus resisted

Miracles                             Walked on water, purged            Walked on water, purged

                                          demons, cured the sick,              demons, cured the sick,

                                         restored vision to the blind      restored vision to the blind

Raising the dead               Horus raised his father Osiris       Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead



Key Address:               Sermon on the Mount.                 Sermon on the Mount.

Accompanied by:         Two thieves.                                 Two thieves.

Burial                             In a tomb.                                      In a tomb.

Fate after death:             Descended into Hell; resurrected after 3 days.       Descended into Hell; resurrected after 3 days.

Resurrection announced by:  Women.                          Women.

Main role:                        Savior of humanity.                     Savior of humanity.

Status:                              God-man.                                    God-man.

Title:                                  KRST, the anointed one.           Christ, the anointed one.

Other names: The good shepherd, the lamb of God, the bread of life, the son of man, the Word, the fisher, the winnower.

The good shepherd, the lamb of God, the bread of life, the son of man, the Word, the fisher, the winnower.

An important `sermon on the mount` is mentioned with Horus, while `sermon on the mountain` is mentioned with Jesus. Both Horus and Jesus were crucified and both died in the company of two thieves. They were buried in tombs and resurrected three days later. Resurrections in both cases were announced by women.

The title both had was the Saviour of humanity, and both were immaculately conceived. Horus is called Krst , or `the anointed one` while Jesus is called Christ the anointed.

The Christian God isn't very original I guess. 
 

You've got some bad info there. Horus is the son of Isis (oldest daughter of Geb and Nut) and Osiris (oldest son of Geb and Nut), yuck. Geb is the correct translation of the name you are calling "Seb." Seb was found to be wrong a long time ago, although "Keb" is another acceptable translation of the name Geb. Isis having sex with some form of her dead brother/husband really isn't "virginal."  Horus was also born in a swap (river delta) and his birth was in no way announced because his mother was hiding in the swap. Horus also did not raise Osiris from the dead, but only avenged his death by having a strange semen battle with his uncle Set, again yuck. Horus also gets married and cuts off his mothers head. There is no record of Horus having a sermon, walking on water, having 12 followers, or even dying.

[Pete]

Have been to both Christmas and Easter at catholic church in past year and not a drop of wine anywhere in the house.  Even for a full latin mass at st. Patrick's.

I agree they all USED TO but no one anywhere does it anymore.

That must just be your church that you go to, because I've been to about 3 Catholic churches within the past year and they use real wine, and the Lutheran church I went to this past Sunday had real wine.

2 different catholic churches.  No wine.  Name the one you go to that has real wine with an alcohol content.

It's actually in manhattan, I don't know the name of it, it's the one my grandparents go to.

I have had real wine in a Lutheran, Catholic and Episcopal church.  Episcopal and Lutheran are the two protestant denominations that are closest to catholicism (in that order), so I guess it makes sense.  I have never seen wine in a Methodist or Presbyterian church, I and I have been to a few of each when they were serving communion (they both typically only do it once a month).  I try to stay the hell away from the rock climbing wall rock band performing "Family Life Centre" type joints with the snake handlers and in-tongues speakers, so I can't be certain what they do.  They are all over the board....typically run by a pastor who insists on putting up billboards with he and his loving wife's picture and putting his name on the sides of their vans and buses....those dudes are capable of anything, so who knows?

[Pete]

This is a fun one for the Christians out there.   

Event/person                             Horus                                          Jesus

Conception                        Immaculate, virgin mother           Immaculate, virgin mother

Father                                Only beloved son of God              Only beloved son of God

Mother                               Isis-Meri                                            Miriam (Mary)

Worldly father                   Seb (Jo-seph)                              Joseph

Place of birth                     Cave                                          Cave or a barn

Announcement of arrival   Angel to mother Isis                     Angel to mother Miriam

Birth accompanied by        Sirius morning star                       Unidentified `star in the east`

Date of birth                       Dec 21                                       Dec 25

Witnesses of birth             Shepherds                                    Shepherds

Later witnesses                 Three Solar divinities                  Three wise men

Death threats                    Herut attempted murder            Herod attempted murder

Age or ritual `initiation`   12                                               12

Age unfamiliar                   No information between the          No information between the       

                                           ages of 12  and 30                       ages of 12  and 30

Place of baptism               River Eridanus                              River Jordan

Age when baptised            30                                              30

Baptist                               Anup the Baptizer                          John the Baptist

Baptist`s fate                    Beheaded                                   Beheaded

Temptation                        Taken up mountain by Sut (Set)                      Taken up mountain by Satan

Result of temptation         Horus resisted                             Jesus resisted

Miracles                             Walked on water, purged            Walked on water, purged

                                          demons, cured the sick,              demons, cured the sick,

                                         restored vision to the blind      restored vision to the blind

Raising the dead               Horus raised his father Osiris       Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead



Key Address:               Sermon on the Mount.                 Sermon on the Mount.

Accompanied by:         Two thieves.                                 Two thieves.

Burial                             In a tomb.                                      In a tomb.

Fate after death:             Descended into Hell; resurrected after 3 days.       Descended into Hell; resurrected after 3 days.

Resurrection announced by:  Women.                          Women.

Main role:                        Savior of humanity.                     Savior of humanity.

Status:                              God-man.                                    God-man.

Title:                                  KRST, the anointed one.           Christ, the anointed one.

Other names: The good shepherd, the lamb of God, the bread of life, the son of man, the Word, the fisher, the winnower.

The good shepherd, the lamb of God, the bread of life, the son of man, the Word, the fisher, the winnower.

An important `sermon on the mount` is mentioned with Horus, while `sermon on the mountain` is mentioned with Jesus. Both Horus and Jesus were crucified and both died in the company of two thieves. They were buried in tombs and resurrected three days later. Resurrections in both cases were announced by women.

The title both had was the Saviour of humanity, and both were immaculately conceived. Horus is called Krst , or `the anointed one` while Jesus is called Christ the anointed.

The Christian God isn't very original I guess. 
 

You've got some bad info there. Horus is the son of Isis (oldest daughter of Geb and Nut) and Osiris (oldest son of Geb and Nut), yuck. Geb is the correct translation of the name you are calling "Seb." Seb was found to be wrong a long time ago, although "Keb" is another acceptable translation of the name Geb. Isis having sex with some form of her dead brother/husband really isn't "virginal."  Horus was also born in a swap (river delta) and his birth was in no way announced because his mother was hiding in the swap. Horus also did not raise Osiris from the dead, but only avenged his death by having a strange semen battle with his uncle Set, again yuck. Horus also gets married and cuts off his mothers head. There is no record of Horus having a sermon, walking on water, having 12 followers, or even dying.

Suggesting that a legitimate "record" of either Horus or Jesus exists is ludicrous.  However, you have to at least acknowledge that written word about Horus would be quite a bit more  difficult to find do to the thousands and thousands of years between the two characters.

For all we know, Jesus spent the missing years in Egypt boning up on now-extinct writings on Horus and then interwove these tales into conversations with followers that later ended up being part of the new testament.  Easily as plausible as any other explanation of Jesus' missing years.

 

 

[Rick Daris]

why does pete go to so many different churches

hobby

[Kat Kid]

why does pete go to so many different churches

hobby

Fetish prolly.

[AzCat]

GTFO of here, do you have his birth certificatte? 

That's rich coming from someone who didn't see any particular need to examine Obama's birth certificate.   

[KSt8er]

Suggesting that a legitimate "record" of either Horus or Jesus exists is ludicrous.  However, you have to at least acknowledge that written word about Horus would be quite a bit more  difficult to find do to the thousands and thousands of years between the two characters.

For all we know, Jesus spent the missing years in Egypt boning up on now-extinct writings on Horus and then interwove these tales into conversations with followers that later ended up being part of the new testament.  Easily as plausible as any other explanation of Jesus' missing years.

 

 

This ^^^^^^^^   

That and Horus was never sold to the people as a living person. 

[BigCat]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/den/344894297.html

best of craigslist > denver > I Puked at the MegaChurch
Originally Posted: Mon, 4 Jun 16:12 MDT

I Puked at the MegaChurch

Date: 2007-06-04, 4:12PM MDT


yesterdya I was out for a bike ride and I'm cruising and digging the grass and trees and farms and cows and horses and sayin hi to other people riding bikes and being cool with cars and liking the deep rumble of motorcycles as they blow by me.

I ride into this small town that will remain nameless to protect the small townies. I stop at this place to buy some stuff and they are like BRATS OUT BACK! so I'm like BRATS? And they are like FREE! so I'm out back yacking about the cows and farms with other lycra people stuffing pork meat encased in pork intestine into our holes. With mustard. Score! So I cram one down and think, why not and I crunch another tangy hot juicy pork thing down my hole.

Then, I'm off! Full of pork. Ready for more cows and horse manure smells. I even have me a tail wind as I leave this town and hit these hills. Short hills, that step up steeply. Like steps. One after another. I'm high on free meat so I punch it and get a good groove until about 3/4 of the way up when I feel not-so-good. I slow down and finish the last pitch to the top breathing hard and feeling funky.

I pull off the road into this parking lot which turns out to be the lot for a megachurch. And its sunday and they've been harvesting souls and the harvesting is over and the harvested souls are all meandering out to their jesus mobiles.


And I puke two free greasy pork meat brats with mustard onto their lot. Hoark! Plop! Drool runs from my lips to the sun warmed ashpalt as I let go with a dry heave. Damn! I suddenly feel fine after bulimatizing that load of pig chunks.

I look up at the jesus people who are looking at me and I yell, OUT SATAN! OUT!. Then I scoot outta that megachurch lot.

so there.

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[jmlynch1]

GTFO of here, do you have his birth certificatte? 

That's rich coming from someone who didn't see any particular need to examine Obama's birth certificate.