work bathrooms....

[steve dave]

You where the best bathrooms are?

Airports.

Fatty, Omaha Eppley was named the cleanest airport in the world by somebody according to the urinal pads.   

[ThreeHolePunch]

FR, Totally not my intent, brah. You're more American than Lethal Weapon 4.

I have no doubt, if you wanted to, you could make me weep for my future. I've seen you do it before on the other boards to some poor soul.

If I could I would reach through this screen and hand you a York Peppermint patty, and I never share anything.

As for Airport restrooms, totally agree. Another one I would throw in there would be Six Flags. Outstanding.

[WillieWannabe]

I hate when there's the stupid 1:00 pm Monday staff meeting and everyone's been drinking coffee all morning and at 12:55 you inadvertently find yourself in an unintentionally choreographed million man march to take a leak before the meeting.

It's sooo uncomfortable. These are all dudes you just talked to a few minutes ago. And you're gonna talk to them again in like 5 minutes. But you're all just awkwardly milling around the bathroom waiting your turn and secretly taking notice of who does and doesn't wash their hands.

Also, what's the workplace bathroom etiquette on farting at the urinal? I figure you're in the bathroom so you should have a green light.

lols luckily my office has a man/woman ratio of about 1:8, so this doesn't happen too much. There is always someone leaving the woman's restroom though.

We also have a single handicap bathroom close by. I usually piss there but i don't dare #2 there. The lock is questionable and has been known to not lock. Plus, I don't want to lay a huge dukie and open the door and have 2 ladies in line. I mean, thats a no win situation.

[cireksu]

I don't like when people fart in urinals so I don't.  You know "Do unto others..."

[Oklahoma_Cat]

I usually do a little crop-dusting on my way out the door.

Here's a good one, may have been previously discussed.  Do you put tp on the seat, or if they have the tp shaped like the seat, do you pull one out and use it?  I mean, if the seat looks like it is carrying something, I'll probably just use another stall. 

[HubrisVonWhiskers]

our bathroom practically quarantines ass-smell for a day, so whether it's at a urinal or post-shat is irrelevant--so I don't hold back. 
How about noise level?  Do you wait to let loose until after all have gone or just trumpet it proudly?

[FBWillie]

I follow a strict rule of ASOCT (Always sh1t on company time) and the bathrooms across from my office are shared by about 600 aircraft employees that don't shower - so here goes my bathroom etiquette.
1.  Fuq putting toilet paper down, I carry a miniature sized bottle of lysol with me if I have to take a sht.   It's a must.

2. I love farting while I'm at the urinal, and I usually laugh at myself afterwards. 

3. It depends on who is in there when I'm about to take a dump whether I just take care of business or go to the bigger bathroom about 100 yards away.  If it's someone in business casual & I don't know them - I usually just stand at a urinal until they leave.  If it's someone wearing jeans/tshirt/etc, They're some factory worker or someone from my office so I go for it and usually take something to read. 

4. I eat a lot of meat; courtesy flushing is not only a necessity for everyone else, but usually myself as well.

5. Wash hands then grab an extra paper towel to open the door with so I don't touch the door knob after some slob didn't wash his hands.

[powercatpurple]

I think some protocol is in place for farting at the urinal... 
If you are there alone...or you are the only one pissing but others in the room...fart away...
if there is someone at the urinal right next to you, refrain from farting...unless... you have drank beer with person standing next to you at the urinal...then fart away...

complete stranger or vague aquaintence...withhold from farting...
complete stranger that's copping a glance at your junk...fart then piss on his shoes...

[FBWillie]

I also like to slap the urinal devider with my hand as I'm shaking the piss off to make it seem like I have really big junk. 

[FelixRex]

complete stranger that's copping a glance at your junk...fart then piss on his shoes...

BTW, how gross is it when you see some dude wearing brown leather shoes spattered in urine drops? Wide stance, bro.

[HubrisVonWhiskers]

complete stranger that's copping a glance at your junk...fart then piss on his shoes...

BTW, how gross is it when you see some dude wearing brown leather shoes spattered in urine drops? Wide stance, bro.

Angle of incidence.  Place your shot for minimal splash.

[ew2x4]

I follow a strict rule of ASOCT (Always sh1t on company time) and the bathrooms across from my office are shared by about 600 aircraft employees that don't shower - so here goes my bathroom etiquette.

That's awesome. My friend and I went with APOCT. Just sounded better than ASOCT. My friend made a facebook group and everything.

[FelixRex]

complete stranger that's copping a glance at your junk...fart then piss on his shoes...

BTW, how gross is it when you see some dude wearing brown leather shoes spattered in urine drops? Wide stance, bro.

Angle of incidence.  Place your shot for minimal splash.

To be fair, grossly incompetent urinal design plays a role at times.

[5601js]

I often wonder how old I will be before I'm in a public restroom (doing #1, #2, or just washing my hands) and I hear a few melodic fart sounds come from a locked stall door, and I don't bust out laughing.

I know it's normal, but gawd damn it's still funny.

[ew2x4]

My biggest fear is dribbling all over khakis (see prostate push thread).

[5601js]

My biggest fear is dribbling all over khakis (see prostate push thread).

The old saying 'shake it more than twice, it's a sin' doesn't apply when you are wearing khakis. You gotta shake all the juice out before you re-sheath.