The greatest thesis paper ever

[jeffy]

http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf

Abstract
Zombies are a popular figure in pop culture/entertainment and they are usually
portrayed as being brought about through an outbreak or epidemic. Consequently,
we model a zombie attack, using biological assumptions based on popular zombie
movies. We introduce a basic model for zombie infection, determine equilibria and
their stability, and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions. We then refine the
model to introduce a latent period of zombification, whereby humans are infected, but
not infectious, before becoming undead. We then modify the model to include the
effects of possible quarantine or a cure. Finally, we examine the impact of regular,
impulsive reductions in the number of zombies and derive conditions under which
eradication can occur. We show that only quick, aggressive attacks can stave off the
doomsday scenario: the collapse of society as zombies overtake us all.

[Thin Blue Line]

Oh, jfc. The doctoral board must have shat themselves.

[Thin Blue Line]

Hmm. After reading the thesis, I would say that the boys at USAMRIID better snatch him up.

[jeffy]

Hmm. After reading the thesis, I would say that the boys at NBAF better snatch him up.

FYP

[Chingon]

someone is gunning for the Ig Nobel Prize eh?

[scottb1987]

FYI, the army does have a zombie squad