KSUFans Archives
Sports => Snyder's Electronic Cyber Space World => Topic started by: Rick Daris on October 26, 2009, 04:01:20 PM
-
knock, knock
who there
norman
norman who
normin normout, this state of oklahoma is miserable. i couldn't get out of there quick enough. :frown:
-Norm
-
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because of Brent Venables' unmentionable sin.
-
Q: How many OU Sooners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Lightbulb? They don't even have running water and Venzy tried to kill himself because of it or something.
-
Q: What do you get when you cross an OU fan with a wheelbarrow full of hay?
A: A transvestite.
-
Q: What do you call 22 losers crying on a bus headed back to Norman?
A: The 2003 OU Sooners.
-
Three OU fans walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, OU fans, GTFOOH. You smell and nobody likes you. You are losers and are all very ugly. Plus, you are poor and of below average intelligence."
-
Three OU fans walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, OU fans, GTFOOH. You smell and nobody likes you. You are losers and are all very ugly. Plus, you are poor and of below average intelligence."
best one so far :dancin:
-
Knock knock
Who's there?
Pretty much everybody except for that kid who blew himself up
-
Three OU fans walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, OU fans, GTFOOH. You smell and nobody likes you. You are losers and are all very ugly. Plus, you are poor and of below average intelligence."
lmao
-
Knock knock
Who's there?
Pretty much everybody except for that kid who blew himself up
:lol:
-
Knock knock
Who's there?
Pretty much everybody except for that kid who blew himself up
:clap:
-
OU fan walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "What's the best thing about &@#%ing twenty three year olds?"
Bartender: "What?"
OU fan: "There's twenty of them."
:blindfold:
-
What do you call an Okie with a double-wide?
Middle management
-
Q. What do you call an okie with a full set of teeth....
A. Don't be silly they don't exist...
-
Q: If it's 6:25 in Manhattan what time is it in Norman?
A: 35 to 7 :rofl:
-
What's red and white and gets ran all over?
The best college football team of all time.
-
deaded by so many of these. keep going.
-
deaded by so many of these. keep going.
feel free to contribute butt hole
-
Bob Stoops passes by Brent Venables’ ranch and strikes up a conversation with his defensive coord. sitting by the gate.
Stoops asks Venables, "Mind if I talk to your dog over there?"
"Damn fool, don't you know dogs can't talk?"
Stoops replies, "So what's the harm?"
Venables shrugs, "Go right ahead."
Stoops ambles up to the dog and says, "Howdy!" The dog replies, "Hello."
Brent’s eyes pop wide open.
Bob continues, "Does your master here treat you alright?"
"Sure does. He feeds me, lets me sleep inside, and every day he takes me to the lake."
Bob asks the shocked Brent Venables, "Mind if I talk to your horse over there?"
Brent replies, "Now, I don't know what you're up to, but I know for a fact that horses can't talk."
"Well then, what's the harm?"
"Go right ahead," says the OU defensive coord..
Coach Stoops says to the horse, "Hello." The horse replies, "Hello."
Brent’s jaw drops.
Stoops asks, "Your owner here treat you OK?"
"Sure," replies the horse, tossing his mane. "He rides me every day, brushes me down, feeds me good, and he keeps me in the barn out of the bad weather."
Bob Stoops looks satisfied and turns to Brent Venables, "Are those your sheep over there?"
Brent Venables looks alarmed and stammers, "Listen -- them sheep out there, they're -- they're nothing but a bunch of liars!"
-
deaded by so many of these. keep going.
feel free to contribute butt hole
i'm not funny enough. (too sober)
how about this modified one
Q: Why does Bob Stoops eat his cereal from a plate?
A: Because he's lost his last five bowls.
-
How does Oklahoma differ from Kansas?
Who gives a feck its Oklahoma!
-
How do you get an OU cheerleader out of your dorm room?
Grease her hips & push with your feet.
-
bob stoops and brent venables walk into a bar. bob calls josh heupel on his cell and says, "hey josh, come join us in the bar." josh says, "i can't go to the bar, i'm 12 years old."
-
Trent Smith and Rocky Calmus are getting ready to go out to the bars. But then they don't cause they totally start hooking up instead. :lol:
-
deaded by so many of these. keep going.
feel free to contribute butt hole
i'm not funny enough. (too sober)
how about this modified one
Q: Why does Bob Stoops eat his cereal from a plate?
A: Because he's lost his last five bowls.
I think you kind of messed that one up. I think it goes like this:
What's the difference between Bob Stoops & Cheerios? One of them actually belongs in a bowl...
-
Why is Kansas so windy?
Cause Nebraska blows and Oklahoma sucks.
-
Brent V.'s contract negotiation:
Bob: So our whiney fans have wanted you gone for years now. We're gonna have to renegotiate your contract to where you make half.
Brent: I've gotta deal for you bob: How about I promise not to tell anyone you've got splinters up your butt, as long as you promise not to tell anyone my dog has a wooden d*ck.
-
Q: What is Red and Orange and looks good on an OU fan?
A: Fire
-
Jeff Capel will be the OU basketball coach in 2012.
zing
-
Bill Snyder is 80 and smells like Old Spice. :bootyshake:
-
So a wildcat and a sooner walk into O'Hare international airport in Chicago. A flight rep. for delta takes the ticket of the wildcat, welcomes him to O'hare, and tells him of a sweet snack shop in terminal 1. He then quickly and slyly gives him a coupon for 1/2 off @ the terminal 2 starbucks. The wildcat quickly runs off to grab a verde white chocolate mocha.
The same flight rep. takes the ticket of the sooner, and immediately smacks him in the face.
-
Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, etc... David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said David, "He coaches at the University of Oklahoma , but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
-
What do you call a family reunion in Norman, Okla?
A dating pool
-
Why does Bob Stoops eat cheerios on a plate?
Cuz if they were in a bowl he would lose them.
-
Q: What do you call it when you shoot a bunch of Oklahomans in the head?
A: A good idea.
-
Bob Stoops is laying in bed getting ready for bed. Brent Venabels jumps out of the bathroom wearing crotchless panties and lingerie and hells "SUPER PU$$Y!" Stoops looks Venabels up and down and says "I'll have the soup."
-
Old Spice. Hmm i never thought of it but Bill does have impressive Old Spice Swagger.
I wonder if Bill smells like LL Cool J and Urlacher or if they smell like him. Considering that he is 80 I think you know the answer. :eyeseeyou:
-
A Wildcat fan, a Cyclone fan and a Sooner fan were driving their 3/4 ton with Bessie the prize winning heifer in a stock cage down County Road 421 outside of Sand Springs. The Wildcat fan sees a sheep stuck in the fence and proceeds to stomp on the brakes. He gets out of the truck, runs over to the sheep and proceeds to &@#% the crap out of the sheep. He runs back to the truck and exclaims, "EMAW, that was fun!" A few miles down the road, the Cyclone yells, "STOP!!!" He gets out of the truck to go &@#% a sheep that had gotten its head stuck in a fence. When the Cyclone fan gets back, the Sooner fan says, "That DOES look like fun!" The Sooner fan gets out of the truck and proceeds to stick his head in the fence.
-
Q. How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Norman?
A. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush. :piratecaptain:
-
Q: Why was the United State government's forced relocation of 45,000 Native Americans between 1831-1837 referred to as the Trail of Tears?
A: Because they were forced to move to Oklahoma.
-
A duck, a rabbi and a polock were standing around a campfire talking. The duck says, "I f^cking hate OU fans" the other two agree.
-
Q: Who suck ass more than OU?
-
Q: Where's my fork?
A: In OU.
-
Q: Where's Toby Keith's boot?
A: In OU's anus.
-
Q: What do Toby Keith and every OU fan have in common?
A: They both smell and their face smells and they are ugly.
-
A: Green Side Up
Q: What is the first sentence in the OU Field Maintenance Manual.
-
Q: What does a divorce in Norman and a Tornado in Norman have in common????
.
.
.
.
.
A: Somebody's losin' a trailer!!
-
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To avoid the smelly OU fans.
-
after a particularly bad batch of spring thunderstorms, one ou hillbilly was overheard saying to the other... "tornader? shoot, i hardly knew her."
:whiteflag:
-
An OU fan walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The Bartender asks, "Do you have any ID?"
The OU fan responds, "About what?"
-
OU Fan: "I'm in Norman"
KSU Fan: "......is Norman your boyfriend?" :lol:
-
Q: How do you circumcise a Sooner?
A: Kick his sister in the chin.
-
Q: What does a 13 year old girl from Oklahoma say after sex?
A: " Git offa me, daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes!
-
A Cyclone fan and a Sooner fan are working at a construction site for a new grain elevator in Hiawatha. At noon, the two take their lunch from atop the unfinished structure. The Cyclone fan opens his lunch: "JFC, a Walking Taco! I'm so sick of these. I've asked my wife not to pack these in my lunch. If I have another Walking Taco for lunch tomorrow, I'm going to jump to my death." The Sooner fan opens his lunch: "ICK, a bologna sandwich! My wife knows I hate these. If I have a bologna sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to jump to my death." The next day, the Cyclone fan opens his lunch, sees the walking taco, and proceeds to jump to his death. The Sooner fan opens his lunch, sees a bologna sandwich, and jumps to his death.
At the funeral, the wives of the Cyclone and Sooner fans discussed the tragedy:
Cyclone fan's wife: "I should have listened to my husband. If I knew he hated Walking Tacos that much, I wouldn't have put them in his lunch."
Sooner fan's wife: "I don't know why my husband jumped. He's been packing his own lunch for years."
-
Q: How do you break Landry Jones's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
-
W: What does an OU fan have in common with this guy I know at work named Luke?
A: They're both f^cking assholes who I hate.
-
Okay I have another one, stop me if you've heard this.
A priest, a rabbi, and Tim Reyer walk into a bar. The bartender looks at Tim Reyer and says "Dude, it's 4th down. Why aren't you standing in the end zone getting ready for a punt? Pull your head out of your rectum!"
And Reyer says "Rectum? Hell, it nearly killed him!!"
-
Knock knock:
Who's there?
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2565/4050285654_e557170eef_s.jpg)
FRACK YOU BOB STOOPS AND THE ENTIRE STATE OF OKLAHOMA!
...except you Brent. We still love you!
-
Knock knock:
Who's there?
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2565/4050285654_e557170eef_s.jpg)
FRACK YOU BOB STOOPS AND THE ENTIRE STATE OF OKLAHOMA!
...except you Brent. We still love you!
actual conversation with an ou fan that just occured in my office...
me: come check out this joke that mensacat just posted on ksufans.com
oufan: what's a mensa?
me: it's the largest, oldest and best known high-IQ society in the world, and a non-profit organization open to people who score at the 98th percentile or higher on a standardized, supervised intelligence test. It is also formally composed of national groups and the umbrella organization Mensa International.
Now, the actual word mensa means "table" in Latin as is symbolized in the organization's logo.
oufan: what's a table? :confused:
-
Q: What do Jody Foster's character in the accused, the chick Roman Polaski raped and Sam Bradford all have in common?
A: They all should have left early but instead got &@#%ed by some dirtbag.
-
What does Oklahoma and Mars have in common?
Red dirt and no signs of intelligent life.
-
A skunk walks up to a OU fan and sprays him. The OU fan says, "Thanks for the cologne...it has dramatically improved my terrible stink"
-
Knock knock: (on the screen door of a 1977 Airstream)
Who dat? (response from wife-beater wearin', one-toothed, mullet sportin' OU grad student inside)
Iz me...and I gotz yur baby in my belly (response from the 12-year-old at the door)
Sis, U git outa here for I tell ma...now let me git back to making this meth lab...it's part my thesis, ya know.
-
A ventriloquist was making fun of some ou fans with his dummy at a bar. Then an angry ou fan stood up, rolled up his sleeves, and yelled, "I resent that!"
The ventriloquist started apologizing to the ou fan.
The ou fan looked at him and said, " You stay outta this, I''m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!"
-
Oklahoma = Mobilehoma
-
10 Question: If an OU fan and a Nubb fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The Nubb - the OU fan would have to stop for directions!
9 The assistant asked the OU fan if he would like his pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" he said, "I could never eat twelve!"
8 An OU fan was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under his arm. As he passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won him in a raffle!"
7 A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found an OU fan painting the walls. He was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked the OU fan why he was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
The OU fan showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".
6 Two OU fans were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First OU fan:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second OU fan:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
5 Three OU fans were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first OU fan looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird tracks."
The second OU fan went to look and said,
"No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third OU fan went over to the tracks. He looked down, then got run over by the train!
4 A OU fan asked someone what time it was, and they told him it was 4:45. The OU fan, with a puzzled look on his face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
3 An OU fan was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when he heard OU fan joke after OU fan joke. A little way down the road, he saw another OU fan out in a field rowing a boat. The OU fan stopped his car and angrily jumped out yelling,
"You dumb OU fan! It's OU fans like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
2 An OU fan and a Nubb went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the OU fan bet the Nubb $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the OU fan gave the Nubb $50. The Nubb said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the OU fan insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the Nubb said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The OU fan replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
1 A dumb OU fan was really tired of being made fun of, so he decided to wear plain clothes rather than his OU gear.
When he had changed, he decided to take a drive in the country.
After he had been driving for a while, he saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
He got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said he could have a try.
The OU fan looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - he was right! So the OU fan, (who was not dressed as an OU fan), picked one out and got back into his car.
Before he left, the farmer walked up to him and said.
"If I can guess what team you root for, can I have my dog back?"
:popcorn:
-
Q: How many OU Sooners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Lightbulb? They don't even have running water and Venzy tried to kill himself because of it or something.
LOL @ the people who still don't know what Brent did...
-
dude - "knock knock"
ex KSU coach - "who's there"
dude - "the important guy who's wife you fracked"
ex-KSU coach - "I'll be leaving town now I guess"
here's another one
dude - "knock knock"
OU coach - "who's there"
dude - "your coke dealer"
OU coach - "it's open"
-
dude - "knock knock"
ex KSU coach - "who's there"
dude - "the important guy who's wife you fracked"
ex-KSU coach - "I'll be leaving town now I guess"
here's another one
dude - "knock knock"
OU coach - "who's there"
dude - "your coke dealer"
OU coach - "it's open"
I still love him.
-
dude - "knock knock"
ex KSU coach - "who's there"
dude - "the important guy who's wife you fracked"
ex-KSU coach - "I'll be leaving town now I guess"
here's another one
dude - "knock knock"
OU coach - "who's there"
dude - "your coke dealer"
OU coach - "it's open"
I still love him.
I love him more because of these things :dunno:
-
Why do OU football players cry after sex..............it's the mace!
:rofl:
-
Brent Venables pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Coach Stoops where he’d first had sex.
“It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours,” Brent recalled.
“That sounds wonderful,” said Bob Stoops.
“Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us.”
“Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?”
“Baaaaa…”
-
Knock knock
Who's there?
Pretty much everybody except for that kid who blew himself up
ROFL
-
Knock knock
Who's there?
Pretty much everybody except for that kid who blew himself up
ROFL
I guess the OU kid thought that is what they meant by "Boomer"
-
Knock knock
Who's there?
Pretty much everybody except for that kid who blew himself up
ROFL
I guess the OU kid thought that is what they meant by "Boomer"
I would be okay with the OU band blowing up after the first two notes of that song. In fact, I would laugh my ass off and give high fives to the various dismembered band hands. :pirate:
-
What do Bob Stoops and Marijuana have in common? They both get smoked in a bowl.
Why is Oklahoma's slogan Oklahoma is OK? because they couldn't spell mediocre.
-
Bob Stoops went over to Bill Snyder's house
Bob: KNOCK KNOCK
Bill: Who is there?
Bob: O
Bill: O who??
Get it? O who? Instead of OU? See what I did there? Classic :ksu:
-
OU fan walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "What's the best thing about fracking twenty three year olds?"
Bartender: "What?"
OU fan: "There's twenty of them."
:blindfold:
:yuck:
-
How does an OU mom know when her daughter is on the period?
Her son's penis tastes funny.
-
What does an ou fan and a wet saddle have in common?
After about 5 minutes they both begins to chap your arse!
-
Bob Stoops went over to Bill Snyder's house
Bob: KNOCK KNOCK
Bill: Who is there?
Bob: O
Bill: O who??
Get it? O who? Instead of OU? See what I did there? Classic :ksu:
:woot: :woot: :lol:
-
Knock knock
Who's there?
Pretty much everybody except for that kid who blew himself up
ROFL
I guess the OU kid thought that is what they meant by "Boomer"
I would be okay with the OU band blowing up after the first two notes of that song. In fact, I would laugh my ass off and give high fives to the various dismembered band hands. :pirate:
:eek:
:lol: