KSUFans Archives
Sports => Snyder's Electronic Cyber Space World => Topic started by: power4PURPLE on August 16, 2008, 04:16:40 PM
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Thanks to Balls Deep for the list...http://deadspin.com/5036795/the-balls-deep-haters-guide-to-the-top-25 (http://deadspin.com/5036795/the-balls-deep-haters-guide-to-the-top-25)
4. Oklahoma
Yes, Oklahoma. It’s like Texas, only flatter! Oklahoma is part of the Bible Belt. And, in case you didn’t know, that belt is a size 62, because Evangelical church picnics in Oklahoma feature nothing but potato salad, “nacho balls”, hamburgers topped with peanut butter, Tyson chicken drummettes, and leaflets about how keep the Mexicans from creeping further north.
I am largely indifferent to Oklahoma football, largely because I am so indifferent to the entire state as a whole. Oklahoma may very well be our least essential state. Sure, the South is a piece of crap. But it is fun to keep around so that I can mock it and make myself feel all too superior. But Oklahoma? The only things Oklahoma produces are natural gas and quarterbacks who have no chance of competing at the professional level.
7. Missouri
Well well well, look who created impossibly high expectations for themselves. Your season last year was a bigger fluke than Jason McIntyre employing a proper metaphor.
10. Texas
Here’s a true fact for you: All Texas high school students are required to take a Texas History course. Here’s another true fact for you: Many UT students have died or been severely injured throughout the years as a result of “surfing” atop the elevators in the tallest dorm on campus. Perhaps these students would have avoided such a grisly fate if they had been taught proper elevator usage in high school, rather than taking a whole course explaining why they should stay loyal to the state by only buying Pace picante sauce.
Let’s also take a moment to talk about Austin. Yes, birthplace of independent music and independent moviemaking. Well you know what, Austin? Robert Rodriguez makes horrible, horrible movies. Oooh, this movie wasn’t directed and edited, it was “shot and chopped”! That’s so edgy and tossed-off! As for Richard Linklater, anyone who liked “Before Sunrise” is a &@#%ing asshole.
And the SXSW festival is attended only by pretentious hipster &@#%wads who comment over at the Onion AV Club. These people aren't a refreshing change from Texas rednecks, so much as an even worse alternative.
13. Kansas
I think we all know Mark Magino far prefers the Sugar Bowl to the Orange Bowl. I once heard that, while waiting for an appetizer, the coach consumed every pack of Sugar In The Raw at his table. Then he ate the busboy.
14. Texas Tech
For those extra special Texas kids who are so dumb, they can’t even get into A&M. The "Tech" stands for “Teach”!
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Damn you for posting that...
I almost choked to death laughing so hard. My diaphram just received a weeks worth of cardio exercise. Wow. :lol:
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Damn you for posting that...
I almost choked to death laughing so hard. My diaphram just received a weeks worth of cardio exercise. Wow. :lol:
Yes, I also hate you