Someone with a wiki login needs to add us to Texas' rival on their page.
Texas take pride in the many rivalries they imagine having, when in reality there are only two, neither of which are anything to be proud of. They claim Rice as a rival so they can play them every year for a guaranteed win.
Rival #1 is the Oklahoma Sooners. Not only is Oklahoma a pathetic backwater joke of a state, but her toothless inhabitants are among the worst people in the world. And just to add insult to injury, the Sooners always &@#%ing win. Recent victories have fixed the gravitational orbit, invented kittens, and cured Bell's Palsy.
Rival #2 is the Texas A&M Aggies. Marginally better than Sooners hygiene-wise, but far weirder. Texas wins this one all the time, but beating up weird cult members won't win you any BCS points. Losing to A&M tends to cause things like a mass exodus of bandwagon fans and plummeting from national relevance. This is also known as the rivalry UT doesn't particularly care about anywhere near as much as Oklahoma. Inform your local aggie.
Other "rivalries" (ranked according to legitimacy): Arkansas Razorbacks, Stanford Indians, Alaska, Rice Owls, Mexican immigrants
* Dr. James Naismith First coach at Kansas and inventor of basketball. He coached...
o Forrest "Phog" Allen+ Think of him as the wolfmother of modern basketball. He coached...
+ Dean Smith+ Think of him as Romulus.
+ Adolph Rupp+ Think of him as Remus.
+ Wilt Chamberlain Think of him as a horny jackal humping everything he sees.
+ Bob Dole He could shoot with either hand. Then his hand was shot.
Osborne would utilize the County Scholarship Program to introduce nearly 1,000 football players onto the Cornhuskers' sidelines every Saturday at Memorial Stadium. He would then recruit 25-30 players from California, Florida, Texas and various other centers of football talent which would eventually cause people to think he could take Jimmy from Cherry County and turn him into an NFL Hall-of-famer after playing six-man football out in the sticks.