Official Petition to make West Virginia a state thread

[0.42]

It's good to know that our football players are aware that West Virginia is an unincorporated commonwealth of the United States that only exists for the sake of producing MTV reality shows. The problem is, having a team that doesn't actually come from a state in our conference makes our fine conference look like garbage. Therefore, I'm starting a movement to bring light to the dark, shame-filled corner of our American tapestry. Let's bring these people into the loving embrace of America and grant them statehood. Sure, it'll be a project that will make Reconstruction look like a day at the beach, but they're part of our country too, and we have to show our love and compassion for them.

Let's talk about how we can take our movement to Congress in this thread.

[Mr Bread]

It's good to know that our football players are aware that West Virginia is an unincorporated commonwealth of the United States that only exists for the sake of producing MTV reality shows. The problem is, having a team that doesn't actually come from a state in our conference makes our fine conference look like garbage. Therefore, I'm starting a movement to bring light to the dark, shame-filled corner of our American tapestry. Let's bring these people into the loving embrace of America and grant them statehood. Sure, it'll be a project that will make Reconstruction look like a day at the beach, but they're part of our country too, and we have to show our love and compassion for them.

Let's talk about how we can take our movement to Congress in this thread.

Might as well petition for Somalia to become a state for all the good it'll do. 

[Super PurpleCat]

Depends on if they're a free state or a slave state.   

[OK_Cat]

 I'm for it.  Here's the West Virginia becoming the 51st state!   

[ben ji]

They are basically Puerto Rico stuck smack dab in the middle of Hill Country. I think PR has a higher per capita GDP though.

[Mr Bread]

Depends on if they're a free state or a slave state.   

They just have one socioeconomic class there: really rough ridin' poor.  Very egalitarian.  Still super racist though.  They just don't have the capital to back up the intent.

[slackcat]

This is something I can really get behind.

[Institutional Control]

I vote no. I don't want to have to buy a new flag.

[Super PurpleCat]

Depends on if they're a free state or a slave state.   

They just have one socioeconomic class there: really rough ridin' poor.  Very egalitarian.  Still super racist though.  They just don't have the capital to back up the intent.

So basically they're our replacement Mizzou.

And they were so worried about being A&M when we called them Coal Aggie.   

[0.42]

I vote no. I don't want to have to buy a new flag.

Just use some white-out if you have to.

[slobber]

I went to India earlier this year. Guess what I found in India...a bunch of refugees from the commonwealth of west Virgina. Working to get statehood granted is a very worthwhile cause. I look forward to a brighter tomorrow for west Virginians everywhere.

[0.42]

Depends on if they're a free state or a slave state.   

They just have one socioeconomic class there: really rough ridin' poor.  Very egalitarian.  Still super racist though.  They just don't have the capital to back up the intent.

So basically they're our replacement Mizzou.

And they were so worried about being A&M when we called them Coal Aggie.   

Hmm. Do we really want another Mizzou? That's a great counterpoint to the WV statehood movement.

[DQ12]

Well while we're at it, we might as well make Western Mississippi a state and East South Dakota a state too.

My point is, I think one Virginia is quite enough. 

[Stater311]

Think about this before we jump right into getting them statehood.  Yeah, it's weird to have this black hole in the middle of our country, but do we really want to have to give them all the rights and privileges of statehood.  Will they actually provide us anything in taxes? NO!  But you can bet your ass that if they are a state, they are going to want road money, and welfare money, and not to mention the right to vote in our national elections. Do we really want 2 senators from that backwoods hillbilly place spilling their moonshine during congressional hearings? I think the cons far out way the pros in this scenario.

[Super PurpleCat]

Think about this before we jump right into getting them statehood.  Yeah, it's weird to have this black hole in the middle of our country, but do we really want to have to give them all the rights and privileges of statehood.  Will they actually provide us anything in taxes? NO!  But you can bet your ass that if they are a state, they are going to want road money, and welfare money, and not to mention the right to vote in our national elections. Do we really want 2 senators from that backwoods hillbilly place spilling their moonshine during congressional hearings? I think the cons far out way the pros in this scenario.

Are you always this heartless, Mitt Romney?  We're trying to help out a new conference member here.

[CNS]

Guys, I am not here to deny the American Dream to any under earning and under educated mass of ppl, but do we really need to add them as a state?  I am worried about the drain on the economy instantly gaining a couple million more ppl on unemployment and food stamps.

[pissclams]

if we make them a state then i think they should just call themselves "virginia" and not "west" virginia, that sounds so dumb

["storm"nut]

Could we also bring up the fact that The Appalachian Hills should be giving the official designation as Mountains. I mean, I know these things just look like the Flint Hills but technically they are Mountains.

[Super PurpleCat]

If it's possible to tl;dr a picture I just did.

[Dugout DickStone]

Well while we're at it, we might as well make Western Mississippi a state and East South Dakota a state too.

My point is, I think one Virginia is quite enough.

I will always recognize North Alabama as a sovereign.  Just the way I was raised.

[CNS]

Storm Nut's pic reminds me of the other reason to not bring them in as the next state.  Huge illegal weed problem.  I watch Justified, and the entire second season of the show is based on the premise that there is an entire S load of weed illegally grown in those hills.

Guys, we don't need to further our burden on law enforcement by bringing in such an illegal market. 

Just doesn't make sense.

That said, WVU'ers, I love Justified.  Do you guys really all talk like that?  I would have to be drunk and high all the time too if I had to listen to everyone around me talk like that.

Also, is red plaid flannel your state color?  I see that on shirts and hats a lot.  Are you being patriotic or is that what happens to coonskin over time?

[MadCat]

Mother Virginia will fight this tooth and nail

[theKSU]

Remember when John Brown conquered West Virginia for Kansas? It's too bad they ended up fighting for the South (losers).

[Dr Rick Daris]

maybe just make it part of arkansas so we can still just have 50? 

[Domino]

They should start a twitter hashtag to gain some traction. Should be something like #WVforstatehood , but they'd probably eff it up and use something like #WVwouldliketopetitionforbecomingastate , or something necessary like #WVresidentsmakesureyougetyourrabiesshots