I’ve heard some of these MiaSUCKmi fans think they are going to march into Manhattan and come out with a victory. Well, I’ve got news for you assholes, I’m going to fight all of you before the game. The rules are pretty simple. You line up next to the Ernie Barrett statue on the southwest corner of the stadium. Line is going to be single file and I’ve got some bros that will be there to MAKE SURE it stays single file. My bros are on this board and go by Chingon, Limestone and Pete. We train pretty much 24/7 at the local Kenpo Dojo. Name of our Dojo is the Sidewinders which signifies our viciousness and abilities. A sidewinder is a snake in case you’re a rough ridin' idiot who has garbage for brains and dumbass for balls. The line forms at 8AM because the game is early. My mom is going to drop us off at 7:30 at the stadium and won’t be back until like 10AM at the earliest so don’t think you can cry to anyone to make me stop smashing your faces until at least then and MAYBE even later though I’ll be eating my lunch then anyway so no big whoop. When you get in line you will wait your turn to take me on. I’ll let you have the first punch or kick because I don’t even care. I’m going to block it probably. Then I’ll unload a vicious boot right in your nuts. Gameover. If not then no biggie because I’ll throw a huge right handed haymaker right in your balls again. Then face, then ballsack rotating like that until you are down for the count. You won’t even land a punch or kick, I’ve got the ability to block them all. RULE NUMBER 2! No weapons. Anyone caught trying to sneak in some brass knucks or other items will get unloaded on by Chingon, then Limestone, then Pete. After I’ve dispensed street justice on all of the people in the line I’m going to meet my parents for lunch. They are not to be spoken to by any of you. We are having pop tarts and sandwiches and nature valley bars and dr. thunder because this is an early game and we can get breakfast food and lunch food both before going in. If you try to tell my step dad Rick that I’ve been brutally smashing your face and balls and face with my kicks and punches and spin kicks and leg sweeps and spinning backhands and grappling holds I will tell him you are lying and got mauled like by a dog that we saw in the neighborhood probably a pit bull or something. He will believe me. I’ve told him this before and he didn’t even try to believe the other guy that I destroyed in hand to hand. See you there Miami fans, for the last time.
EDIT: you can't kick yourself in the balls, not possible
