Author Topic: FIGHT ADVICE (Read 6273 times)

BushBlister · « **on:** May 14, 2016, 10:24:54 PM »

problem:

theres this dude named cordell at school thats scary as crap. he didn't tell me but someone else on friday told me that he was going to beat me up on the last day of school before we get on the bus so i need some advice.

Obviously its to late for me to try to learn karate by next wensday or any other marshall arts so idk wth i should do because i know you cant tell by me typing but im white and kind of chubby and i dont play sports (BUT I LOVE THEM) and cordell is big and black and mean and wants to beat me up for whatever reason

Right now my plan is to take a fanny pack full of sand to school and if he tries to get tough with me i be like HAY HERE'S MY ICE CREAM MONEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

and then i reach into my fanny pack of sand and throw it in his eyes and then run away. it would buy me some time and then i could make it until next school year when he goes to high school and hed probably forget about it by next year ANYWAYS and find someone else to pick on by then THOUGHTS?????

star seed 7 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 14, 2016, 10:29:30 PM »

did not work in kickboxer, might want a plan b

BushBlister · « **Reply #2 on:** May 14, 2016, 10:35:00 PM »

i said i didn't have time to learn karate much less kickboxing unless you know of some kind of kickboxing/karate rosetta stone

star seed 7 · « **Reply #3 on:** May 14, 2016, 10:36:43 PM »

bushblister, bro. you need to watch kickboxer. jcvd gets blinded by the bad guy and still wins his kickboxing match. i'm just saying becareful and have a back up if the blinding thing doesn't work.

have you considered buying a gun?

star seed 7 · « **Reply #4 on:** May 14, 2016, 10:37:56 PM »

star seed 7 · « **Reply #5 on:** May 15, 2016, 12:30:07 AM »

actually the blindness thing happens in bloodsport and not kickboxer (source: just watched bloodsport on netflix)

gatoveintisiet · « **Reply #6 on:** May 15, 2016, 06:51:20 AM »

Smear fresh feces all over your fat face right before the showdown, he'll leave you alone

BushBlister · « **Reply #7 on:** May 15, 2016, 08:37:29 AM »

man u dont have to be a dick im not going to put feces on my face i just want some FIGHT ADVICE

treysolid · « **Reply #8 on:** May 15, 2016, 08:44:16 AM »

have you tried eating spinach? it works for popeye whenever he has to fight bluto.

wetwillie · « **Reply #9 on:** May 15, 2016, 09:15:06 AM »

I'm surprised no one had told him the obvious yet:

You need to stab this guy. I'd go for the knee, personally.

BushBlister · « **Reply #10 on:** May 15, 2016, 09:28:56 AM »

you havent seen cordell hes huge i think stabbing him wont work itll just make him mad and spinach is fine for fighting pluto but pluto is white and fat cordell is BLACK AND MUCLEY IM NOT SURE HOW I CAN BE MORE CLEAR ABOUT THAT

plus if i stab him ill get suspended for having a knife at school and if i get suspended on the last day im betting my grandma will take away my laptop and then its like BYE BYE GO EMAW

treysolid · « **Reply #11 on:** May 15, 2016, 10:20:54 AM »

well, thanks to the new horizons spacecraft, we now know that pluto is mostly brown, with just a little bit of white.

Dugout DickStone · « **Reply #12 on:** May 15, 2016, 10:25:48 AM »

Plant the knife on him, turn him in

OK_Cat · « **Reply #13 on:** May 15, 2016, 10:33:32 AM »

Maybe MIR knows Cordell and can be a mediator in the situation?

gatoveintisiet · « **Reply #14 on:** May 15, 2016, 10:34:15 AM »

Quote from: BushBlister on May 15, 2016, 08:37:29 AM

man u dont have to be a dick im not going to put feces on my face i just want some FIGHT ADVICE

Didn't mean to be a dick, just trying to give you some advice that would legitimately save you from being pummeled. Call me a dick again and you won't have to worry about Cordell tho

wetwillie · « **Reply #15 on:** May 15, 2016, 10:56:24 AM »

Tell him to post here

Cire · « **Reply #16 on:** May 15, 2016, 11:12:25 AM »

Make yourself vomit when you are losing

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

nicname · « **Reply #17 on:** May 15, 2016, 12:04:30 PM »

Just pack a super-delicious lunch. Include some non-prepackaged pudding or jello, but put Ipecac syrup in it. When he demands your lunch, give it up freely. He'll be on his way home within an hour and you won't have to deal with him all summer.

Plus, you'll be able to brag to all your friends how you pulled one over on a bully.

slobber · « **Reply #18 on:** May 15, 2016, 01:06:47 PM »

nicname is winning this so far.

Gonna win 'em all! (using Tapatalk)

bubbles4ksu · « **Reply #19 on:** May 15, 2016, 02:24:39 PM »

Biting is very effective at making people stop but you can't half-ass it, you have to clamp down with the intent to tear all the way through.

catastrophe · « **Reply #20 on:** May 15, 2016, 05:04:44 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX6M7-rAFJE

Dugout DickStone · « **Reply #21 on:** May 15, 2016, 09:52:22 PM »

Leave early

john "teach me how to" dougie · « **Reply #22 on:** May 16, 2016, 12:54:39 AM »

Just kick him in the wallies as hard as you can.

Emo EMAW · « **Reply #23 on:** May 17, 2016, 09:47:48 AM »

Fighting is all about attitude, IMO. You have got to fight like you have nothing to lose. In the beginning of a fight both people are throwing blows, more focused on hurting their opponent than defending themselves. Then, there is usually a turning point where one guy starts to lose the will to win and becomes solely focused on not getting hurt. That person usually loses and gets hurt. Don't be that person. No matter what keep fighting, keep punching, keep swinging, kicking, biting, scratching, go rough ridin' apeshit on this dude. As long as you don't give up, you know that he will give up first, and you will win.

chum1 · « **Reply #24 on:** May 17, 2016, 09:59:06 AM »

Pepper spray?