Author Topic: it's an ill wind that blows no humor  (Read 10034 times)

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Offline sys

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it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« on: April 22, 2013, 07:34:13 PM »
Quote
Curtis Kitchen

Didn't see this one coming. Talked with Angel through season, he liked working with coaches. Total surprise. #kstate


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"experienced commanders will simply be smeared and will actually go to the meat."

Offline 420seriouscat69

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2013, 07:36:41 PM »
Haha. What a rough ridin' idiot.

Offline sys

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2013, 07:52:00 PM »
Quote
D. Scott Fritchen

Cracked a Red Bull. Back on the football grind.
"experienced commanders will simply be smeared and will actually go to the meat."

Offline ChiComCat

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it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2013, 07:58:33 PM »
Quote
D. Scott Fritchen

Cracked a Red Bull. Back on the football grind.
Must've needed a drink to help the roast beef down

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2013, 08:56:01 PM »
Quote
D. Scott Fritchen

Cracked a Red Bull. Back on the football grind.

I don't read any of that stuff ever, but I can appreciate how that is an amazing quote for multiple reasons.

Offline bones129

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2013, 08:58:16 PM »
Quote
D. Scott Fritchen

Cracked a Red Bull. Back on the football grind.

I don't read any of that stuff ever, but I can appreciate how that is an amazing quote for multiple reasons.

A quote that can be read many ways, that's for sure.

Offline j rake

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2013, 09:05:28 PM »
Dear Angel,

What an ugly way to leave Kansas State. It does not speak well for you. Your timing couldn't have been worse. You completed a fantastic sophomore season, got fans excited for the future, waited a month, and then left with a brief press release and a statement: "I'm leaving." Mark Jannsen probably knew before the rest of us.

As someone who attended K-State before you arrived, I think you owed us more than that. You owed us decency. The fact that you're leaving to be closer to home, to care for your mom and brothers, is a truly selfish and disgusting act. Kansas State is not that far away from home, Angel, and this basketball program will not die because you have left. Times are hard for the hoops program right now, thanks to a horrendous coach, but better days will be ahead.

There's an old saying that you might have come across once or twice in your career: "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." The K-State hoops program is not dead, Angel, because there are players who can still play, who still have the fight. If you go to play for South Carolina or Miami, fans may get a little weary of your true intentions. You were a great player for K-State, that's for sure, and the fans loved you. You had some fantastic performances. And now?

Good luck getting one of your 11-point, 5-rebound seasons in Columbia, South Carolina, Angel. The teammates you left behind will do the best they can to fill the void. The current K-State players, those who have YET to transfer, believe in the coach, the athletic director, and in the future of Kansas State basketball. And they believe in the Manhattan community, which you always pretended to like but always hated, especially as you slithered out the door. I don't know if your talents will help the Gamecocks reach the NCAA Tournament, but the program you leave behind will be gunning for a sixth appearance in seven years. The NCAA Tournament has become the standard for K-State's hoops program. After the recent appearance, under an incompetent coach, we felt confident that many more tourney berths were in our future. We still do. 

Hope you are doing well. You have left us, Angel, at a time when the program is once again back among the elite. You managed to stay here through the good times, when 20-win seasons were the norm and not the exception. Incredibly, those expectations remain. We will finish what we started, through great adversity, with new players from varying backgrounds. Once, I was asked, "How can you root for Kansas State basketball?" This was during the Wooldridge years. My reply was: "It's not his team. It's our team. We will rise again." That's the way I've always felt about Kansas State basketball, and I still do. On your way out, don't let the door bang you on the ass.

Sincerely,

Butthurt K-State fans on Twitter (written by roger ebert)


Offline sys

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2013, 09:58:45 PM »
jrake, that's one of the greatest things i've ever read.
"experienced commanders will simply be smeared and will actually go to the meat."

Offline j rake

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2013, 10:09:58 PM »
i liked kirk schulz's letter better...

oscar Weber & coaching staff,

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough rough ridin' ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this coaching staff, we have been rough ridin' UP in terms of recruiting good players and keeping those that were left behind. I've been getting texts on texts from alumni who are LITERALLY so rough ridin' PISSED and so rough ridin' BESIDE THEMSELVES. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But gee Kirk, I've been having so much fun sharing conference championships and getting knocked out of the NCAA Tournament's first round!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to rough ridin' find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying eff, and our fan base does not give a flying eff, about how much you rough ridin' love to run off your players. You have six rough ridin' shitty players, including Will Spradling, that you could run off, and instead you run off Angel, who is NOT, I rough ridin' repeat NOT ONE OF THEM that should be ran off. This season is about keeping the program relevant, and that's not rough ridin' possible if you're going to run off our best rough ridin' player. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FANS DON'T LIKE SUCKY TEAMS. Oh wait, DOUBLE rough ridin' NEWSFLASH: NOBODY IS GOING TO COME TO OUR GAMES IF WE DON'T HAVE GOOD PLAYERS AND IF WE rough ridin' SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE ARE GOING TO rough ridin' SUCK!

This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about recruiting two and three stars. Are you coaches Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!)? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't coach anymore. If Angel said, "Yeah I'm gonna transfer to South Carolina", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE eff WOULD YOU LET HIM GO?? AND A MONTH AFTER THE SEASON?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be letting this happen, I don't give a eff if he promised you he'd stay, if his brother promised you he'd stay, or if his entire family promised you he'd stay. YOU DON'T LET HIM GO. YOU. DON'T. LET. HIM. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do rough ridin' NOT run off other players along with him.

"But Kirk!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been coaching this team to split fake ass regular season championships, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID rough ridin' ASS HATS, IT rough ridin' DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW rough ridin' WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN rough ridin' UP IN THE NCAA TOURNAMENT. I've not only gotten texts about coaches being rough ridin' WEIRD to recruits (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's basketball?" is not rough ridin' funny), but I've gotten texts about coaches actually cheering for our recruits to play terrible. To. Play. Terrible. ARE YOU rough ridin' STUPID?!! I don't give a crap about the reason, YOU ROOT FOR OUR GODDAMN RECRUITS TO SUCCEED AND NOT TO FAIL. HAVE YOU NEVER RECRUITED BEFORE? ARE YOU rough ridin' BLIND? Or are you just so rough ridin' dense about what it means to bring in talent that you think being a negative douche is going to help bring us better players? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE rough ridin' LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR rough ridin' RECRUITS. I will rough ridin' $!#* punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a eff if you tweet me, I WILL rough ridin' ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird crap that does weird crap during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT COACH HERE ANYMORE.

I'm not rough ridin' kidding. Don't coach. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS PROGRAM AND UNIVERSITY. I would rather have five coaches that are fun, talk to recruits, and not rough ridin' awkward than 10 that are rough ridin' awful at their jobs. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to recruits I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't rough ridin' coach anymore unless you're going to stop being a goddamn black hole for our program. Seriously. I swear to rough ridin' God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at the next player visit, I will fire you even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a eff. Go eff yourself.

Kirk (Go Cats!)

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2013, 10:11:11 PM »
 :lol:

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it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2013, 10:12:17 PM »
hated it

Offline 420seriouscat69

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2013, 10:13:59 PM »
 :lol:

Offline bones129

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2013, 10:16:11 PM »
Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Offline 420seriouscat69

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2013, 10:22:04 PM »
How do we get this viral?

Offline Panjandrum

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2013, 10:26:21 PM »
I pictured the Tom Cruise character from Tropic Thunder when reading that.

Offline Tobias

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2013, 10:33:10 PM »
rake is at least an 8 :love:

Offline IlliniTillIDie

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2013, 10:55:52 PM »
That was great.   :lol:

Offline kim carnes

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #17 on: April 22, 2013, 10:59:16 PM »
 :lol: :lol: :lol:

Offline Pete

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #18 on: April 22, 2013, 11:12:40 PM »

Offline SwiftCat

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #19 on: April 22, 2013, 11:44:17 PM »
Oh man, that was really good Rake. I laughed multiple times.

I'm glad I did my homework over the weekend so I could really enjoy it.

Offline EMAWzified

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #20 on: April 23, 2013, 12:38:05 AM »
Angel knows he's too rough ridin' good for us -- and oscar.

Offline Pexikan

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #21 on: April 23, 2013, 02:21:24 AM »
Pretty good. That sorostitutes email was pretty funny. I wondered when I would see a good parody of it. Then this...

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #22 on: April 23, 2013, 05:52:08 AM »
That would be funny if i thought ks really have a crap about sports.

Offline mancattanite

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #23 on: April 23, 2013, 07:21:42 AM »
Kirk (Go Cats!)
It's like I feel angry... and then I feel all warm and fuzzy.
 :D
Never misunderestimate a Wildcat.

Offline ednksu

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Re: it's an ill wind that blows no humor
« Reply #24 on: April 23, 2013, 08:27:11 AM »
i liked kirk schulz's letter better...

oscar Weber & coaching staff,

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough rough ridin' ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this coaching staff, we have been rough ridin' UP in terms of recruiting good players and keeping those that were left behind. I've been getting texts on texts from alumni who are LITERALLY so rough ridin' PISSED and so rough ridin' BESIDE THEMSELVES. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But gee Kirk, I've been having so much fun sharing conference championships and getting knocked out of the NCAA Tournament's first round!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to rough ridin' find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying eff, and our fan base does not give a flying eff, about how much you rough ridin' love to run off your players. You have six rough ridin' shitty players, including Will Spradling, that you could run off, and instead you run off Angel, who is NOT, I rough ridin' repeat NOT ONE OF THEM that should be ran off. This season is about keeping the program relevant, and that's not rough ridin' possible if you're going to run off our best rough ridin' player. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FANS DON'T LIKE SUCKY TEAMS. Oh wait, DOUBLE rough ridin' NEWSFLASH: NOBODY IS GOING TO COME TO OUR GAMES IF WE DON'T HAVE GOOD PLAYERS AND IF WE rough ridin' SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE ARE GOING TO rough ridin' SUCK!

This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about recruiting two and three stars. Are you coaches Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!)? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't coach anymore. If Angel said, "Yeah I'm gonna transfer to South Carolina", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE eff WOULD YOU LET HIM GO?? AND A MONTH AFTER THE SEASON?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be letting this happen, I don't give a eff if he promised you he'd stay, if his brother promised you he'd stay, or if his entire family promised you he'd stay. YOU DON'T LET HIM GO. YOU. DON'T. LET. HIM. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do rough ridin' NOT run off other players along with him.

"But Kirk!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been coaching this team to split fake ass regular season championships, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID rough ridin' ASS HATS, IT rough ridin' DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW rough ridin' WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN rough ridin' UP IN THE NCAA TOURNAMENT. I've not only gotten texts about coaches being rough ridin' WEIRD to recruits (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's basketball?" is not rough ridin' funny), but I've gotten texts about coaches actually cheering for our recruits to play terrible. To. Play. Terrible. ARE YOU rough ridin' STUPID?!! I don't give a crap about the reason, YOU ROOT FOR OUR GODDAMN RECRUITS TO SUCCEED AND NOT TO FAIL. HAVE YOU NEVER RECRUITED BEFORE? ARE YOU rough ridin' BLIND? Or are you just so rough ridin' dense about what it means to bring in talent that you think being a negative douche is going to help bring us better players? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE rough ridin' LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR rough ridin' RECRUITS. I will rough ridin' $!#* punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a eff if you tweet me, I WILL rough ridin' ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird crap that does weird crap during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT COACH HERE ANYMORE.

I'm not rough ridin' kidding. Don't coach. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS PROGRAM AND UNIVERSITY. I would rather have five coaches that are fun, talk to recruits, and not rough ridin' awkward than 10 that are rough ridin' awful at their jobs. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to recruits I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't rough ridin' coach anymore unless you're going to stop being a goddamn black hole for our program. Seriously. I swear to rough ridin' God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at the next player visit, I will fire you even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a eff. Go eff yourself.

Kirk (Go Cats!)

nice adaptation
http://deadspin.com/we-rough ridin'-suck-so-far-a-sorority-girl-lashes-out-at-476159462
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