Author Topic: Breaking up the United States  (Read 40328 times)

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Offline Trim

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #225 on: October 29, 2017, 02:14:04 PM »
I only posted that in support of the "cool kids" name for that region in gE's new america.

Anyway, here's the data: https://www.forbes.com/sites/samanthasharf/2017/10/26/san-francisco-tops-our-list-of-americas-coolest-cities/

Offline star seed 7

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #226 on: October 29, 2017, 02:40:01 PM »
San Jose is great mocat.
Was it like pretty much invented in the 50s tho? Gross

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Offline MakeItRain

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #228 on: June 05, 2018, 10:12:06 PM »
@Trim not even in Brownbackistan :facepalm:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/white-nationalist-charlottesville-elected-local-gop-office_us_5b1698b7e4b074b9e089f1f7

White Nationalist Who Marched In Charlottesville Elected To Local GOP Office
James Allsup took part in the white supremacist “Unite the Right” rally last year.

White nationalist James Allsup is now an elected officer in the Republican Party of Washington state

Look at this herb

Offline Trim

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #229 on: June 05, 2018, 10:55:42 PM »
Whitman County is basically Idaho (Bears).

Offline ben ji

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #230 on: March 01, 2019, 09:14:17 PM »
So I recently started reading some more end of the world shoot em up dime books and got inspired to revisit this story. I've knocked out a couple of chapters and think I can get "Brownbackistan Breakout" finished by the end of the weekend. Will start a new thread and post everything in chronological order.

Offline ben ji

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #231 on: March 01, 2019, 09:25:52 PM »
Chapter X "Out of the Sky"

It had been over a month since Wacky and his crew had left the Queens compound along with Winters, Nicname and the rest of the 2015 Fatty fest trivia runner up team. First they headed north to Kearney then redirected East towards SD’s home base of Omaha looking for any sign of where SD had been.

As they passed the only Gas Station in the small town of Brainard NE Dlew noticed a 2015 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited with a busted engine block and a “My other car is a free flight from Churning” Bumper Sticker.

“Check it out you studs” Dlew said as he pointed his tactical light laser (that only people with tactical glasses can see) at the Car. “I think we finally found our first sign of SD”

Just then gunshots rang out and they hit the ground. From the distance it sounded like shotguns mixed with the muffled grunts of 2 large fat ugly men sprinting.... As the gunshots grew closer Wacky and his crew noticed something strange in the Air.

Up in the air SD and Cow Farmers Jenkins son Alonzo were getting worried. The Winds were in their favor and had carried them far away from the Born Again Center in Lincoln but now that they had been spotted they were sitting ducks for the brownshirts on the ground. As the shotgun pellets burst the Balloons keeping them afloat SD and Alonzo both said prayers to their own gods (Michael Bishop / Rain Clouds)

“WE’RE GOING DOWN” Steve Dave shouted!

Offline ben ji

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #232 on: March 01, 2019, 09:28:35 PM »
Chapter X “The Meetup”

And SD/Alonzo were going down alright, and in a field next to the gas station where he had left his vehicle a couple of months earlier. The dirigible crashed with the force of when Mario Smith Sketti Brained that BYU player, both SD and Alonzo were ejected and out cold.

Wacky and his crew rushed to the scene and saw 2 men in brown shirts and Larry The Cable guy hats coming out of the woods with shotguns. Without a word being said Wacky, Winters and the 2nd place trivia team went right while 8manpick, dlew and TTHOTUC headed left.

The two groups met in a pincer move just as the brownshirts reached the men who had fallen from the sky. “OOO Boy Claxsen! These are them 2 the Blackshirts are looking fo! You better call up Corporal Pelini and let him know!”

Right as the final digit was being pressed Claxsen found his arm broken in half as Winters karate chopped him so hard he crap his pants at the same moment Wacky began kicking his shins with the speed of a woodpecker. 8manpick made a textbook ruby tackle on the second brownshirt before letting TTHOTUC finish him off with a stone cold stunner so powerful the Brownshirt shot a log of crap straight down it pant leg and into his steel toed boot.

After slapping hands then waiting for Dlew to call them all Studs Wacky and his crew finally got around to looking at who the people were that fell out of the sky. They were shocked to realize it was Steve Dave and some random cow farmer.

“My family, the farm near Hasting” SD whispered “We need to go to BEARS”. That was the last words he said before he sketti brained out again and was loaded into Wackys vehicle.

Corporal Pelini heard the whole conversation on his Samsung Galaxy 9-4 and alerted the troops. Soon Lawrence Phillips and the blackshirts were heading west towards Hastings NE.

Offline Dugout DickStone

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #233 on: March 02, 2019, 11:01:39 AM »
I love great literature.

Offline ben ji

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #234 on: March 04, 2019, 09:18:33 PM »

Offline 8manpick

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #235 on: June 21, 2019, 07:55:46 PM »
The Cool Kids: CA, OR, WA, HI

Brownbackistan: KS, OK, NE, MO, IA, ND, SD, AR

Texas: Texas

Desertville: NM, AZ, NV (gambling and retirees from brownbackistan.)

Bears: CO  :cry: , WY, ID, MT, UT (CO wants to be with the cool kids but geography, you know?)

Lakesantonio: MN, IL, WI, MI, IN, OH (PA should probably go here but it would cut off some states from the NE so they don't)

Racistville: LA, MS, AL, GA, SC, NC, VA, FL, TN, KY, WV

The Part With People: All the tiny/NE states, plus NY and PA. also DC.

New Russia: Alaska
I'm moving to The Part With People this weekend! Goodbye Lakesantonio!
:adios:

Offline 8manpick

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #236 on: December 05, 2019, 11:05:30 AM »
:adios:

Online Phil Titola

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Offline MakeItRain

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #238 on: April 22, 2020, 02:25:58 PM »
You have a LA Times account? Imma pass on that, can you c & p the article?

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #239 on: April 22, 2020, 02:27:40 PM »
By STEVE LOPEZCOLUMNIST
APRIL 22, 20205:10 AM
On Monday night, I was watching TV coverage of the pandemic, first on MSNBC then on Fox News, and a thought occurred.

We are so helplessly, irrevocably divided, it’s time to quit talking about coming together as one and do the only sensible thing.

Roughly 30 years ago, the USSR came to grips with its irreconcilable regional differences and broke apart, splitting into 15 independent republics.

Why can’t we do that here?

All those who love the man currently running the United States of America would become residents of the Kingdom of Mar-a-Lago.

Good luck to ye all.

If this sounds delusional, maybe it is. Maybe I’ve got a case of cabin fever and it’s eating at my brain. But we’re five weeks into this and it seems like an eternity.

Oh, how I long for the days when I could roam free and focus on more positive news than coronavirus, like the arrest of the L.A. City Councilman jammed up in a federal corruption probe or the rat infestation at City Hall.

I’ve seen people suggest that any of us who are complaining about our enforced staycations are nothing but wimps. After all, Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison.

Yeah, but he didn’t have cable TV.

I’m both addicted and repulsed.

It’s torture.

One minute you’re watching scientists warn that we’ll pay with our lives if we return to normal before testing and tracing are in place. The next minute you’re watching President Trump canonize people for demanding the return of their God-given right to eat at a Waffle House and infect everyone around them.

Monday night, sadly, was a no-alcohol night for me. I try to have a couple of those a week. Booze without TV is okay. TV without booze is a test of will and I may not have what it takes.

I watched 30 minutes of MSNBC’s merciless attacks on Trump and Fox News. Then I switched to Fox for 30 minutes of Sean Hannity’s militant defense of Trump, along with a volley of cannon shots at what he calls MSDNC.

This is who we are. A nation irrevocably divided, perhaps more than ever. We hate each other and I have proof. You wanna read some of the email I get?

We could do it the USSR way and divide into 15 self-governed countries. We could have the Republic of America First, the Commonwealth of God and Guns, the Federated Sanctuary of Huddled Masses (with California as its capital).

But splitting in half seems a little easier to pull off, especially since the president himself expresses such deep-seated contempt for blue states.

The Kingdom of Mar-a-Lago would for sure include the states now racing to reopen for business despite the risks that have been clearly laid out by one medical authority after another. Texas, Tennessee, Georgia, South Carolina and Florida. Some have said they’ll be cautious, but why hold back?

This weekend, to celebrate the birth of their new republic, they could hold a massive liberation party on all southeast Atlantic beaches. Social distancing would be abandoned. Anyone possessing, wearing or selling a mask — or wondering if the ocean water has gotten warmer — would be shot on sight by a citizen militia.

In Texas, suspended executions would not only be resumed, but death row inmates would be given lethal COVID-19 injections. And all houses of worship in the Kingdom of Mar-a-Lago would be required to reopen if they hadn’t already, with no restrictions on hugging and kissing.

All Mar-a-Lago immigrants except for Melania would be sent home on rubber rafts, all the king’s conversations with foreign allies and enemies would be “perfect,” nobody smart would pay taxes and journalists would be turned away at the border unless they worked for Fox News.

California, of course, has plenty of red, Trump-loving regions, the largest of which is the Central Valley. When the country splits, everything from Modesto to Bakersfield might want to become a territory of Mar-a-Lago. But once the labor force was deported, I’m not sure how they’d find anyone to work the fields.

I don’t mean to suggest, by the way, that California doesn’t have its own leadership challenges. It ain’t all milk and honey here, by a long shot.

We’ve got a housing crisis we’ve temporarily forgotten about, epic numbers of homeless people and great wealth alongside even greater poverty. The L.A. Unified School District budget is full of holes. L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti says there will be furloughs and even fewer of the basic services he promised. And let’s not forget Newsom’s secretive and suspicious deal to buy $1 billion worth of masks from a Chinese company with a sketchy track record.

But all things considered, we tend to trust science, and, while we’re eager to rediscover our groove, we’re cautious about moving too quickly.

Newsom, if you haven’t noticed, keeps calling us a nation state.

Let’s make it official.

Offline Spracne

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #240 on: April 22, 2020, 02:35:22 PM »
By STEVE LOPEZCOLUMNIST
APRIL 22, 20205:10 AM
On Monday night, I was watching TV coverage of the pandemic, first on MSNBC then on Fox News, and a thought occurred.

We are so helplessly, irrevocably divided, it’s time to quit talking about coming together as one and do the only sensible thing.

Roughly 30 years ago, the USSR came to grips with its irreconcilable regional differences and broke apart, splitting into 15 independent republics.

Why can’t we do that here?

All those who love the man currently running the United States of America would become residents of the Kingdom of Mar-a-Lago.

Good luck to ye all.

If this sounds delusional, maybe it is. Maybe I’ve got a case of cabin fever and it’s eating at my brain. But we’re five weeks into this and it seems like an eternity.

Oh, how I long for the days when I could roam free and focus on more positive news than coronavirus, like the arrest of the L.A. City Councilman jammed up in a federal corruption probe or the rat infestation at City Hall.

I’ve seen people suggest that any of us who are complaining about our enforced staycations are nothing but wimps. After all, Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison.

Yeah, but he didn’t have cable TV.

I’m both addicted and repulsed.

It’s torture.

One minute you’re watching scientists warn that we’ll pay with our lives if we return to normal before testing and tracing are in place. The next minute you’re watching President Trump canonize people for demanding the return of their God-given right to eat at a Waffle House and infect everyone around them.

Monday night, sadly, was a no-alcohol night for me. I try to have a couple of those a week. Booze without TV is okay. TV without booze is a test of will and I may not have what it takes.

I watched 30 minutes of MSNBC’s merciless attacks on Trump and Fox News. Then I switched to Fox for 30 minutes of Sean Hannity’s militant defense of Trump, along with a volley of cannon shots at what he calls MSDNC.

This is who we are. A nation irrevocably divided, perhaps more than ever. We hate each other and I have proof. You wanna read some of the email I get?

We could do it the USSR way and divide into 15 self-governed countries. We could have the Republic of America First, the Commonwealth of God and Guns, the Federated Sanctuary of Huddled Masses (with California as its capital).

But splitting in half seems a little easier to pull off, especially since the president himself expresses such deep-seated contempt for blue states.

The Kingdom of Mar-a-Lago would for sure include the states now racing to reopen for business despite the risks that have been clearly laid out by one medical authority after another. Texas, Tennessee, Georgia, South Carolina and Florida. Some have said they’ll be cautious, but why hold back?

This weekend, to celebrate the birth of their new republic, they could hold a massive liberation party on all southeast Atlantic beaches. Social distancing would be abandoned. Anyone possessing, wearing or selling a mask — or wondering if the ocean water has gotten warmer — would be shot on sight by a citizen militia.

In Texas, suspended executions would not only be resumed, but death row inmates would be given lethal COVID-19 injections. And all houses of worship in the Kingdom of Mar-a-Lago would be required to reopen if they hadn’t already, with no restrictions on hugging and kissing.

All Mar-a-Lago immigrants except for Melania would be sent home on rubber rafts, all the king’s conversations with foreign allies and enemies would be “perfect,” nobody smart would pay taxes and journalists would be turned away at the border unless they worked for Fox News.

California, of course, has plenty of red, Trump-loving regions, the largest of which is the Central Valley. When the country splits, everything from Modesto to Bakersfield might want to become a territory of Mar-a-Lago. But once the labor force was deported, I’m not sure how they’d find anyone to work the fields.

I don’t mean to suggest, by the way, that California doesn’t have its own leadership challenges. It ain’t all milk and honey here, by a long shot.

We’ve got a housing crisis we’ve temporarily forgotten about, epic numbers of homeless people and great wealth alongside even greater poverty. The L.A. Unified School District budget is full of holes. L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti says there will be furloughs and even fewer of the basic services he promised. And let’s not forget Newsom’s secretive and suspicious deal to buy $1 billion worth of masks from a Chinese company with a sketchy track record.

But all things considered, we tend to trust science, and, while we’re eager to rediscover our groove, we’re cautious about moving too quickly.

Newsom, if you haven’t noticed, keeps calling us a nation state.

Let’s make it official.

I don't use this term lightly, but that was Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

Online Phil Titola

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #241 on: April 22, 2020, 03:18:34 PM »
You have a LA Times account? Imma pass on that, can you c & p the article?

I didn't.  The topic sounded right up Trim's alley.

Offline Trim

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #242 on: April 22, 2020, 03:49:46 PM »
This thread pitches the idea better, but yes we should.

Offline MakeItRain

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #243 on: April 22, 2020, 08:34:39 PM »
Thanks RATM

Offline Institutional Control

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #245 on: August 07, 2020, 07:34:51 AM »
well that's rude

Offline Sandstone Outcropping

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #246 on: August 07, 2020, 07:38:27 AM »

Offline ben ji

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #247 on: August 07, 2020, 09:27:02 AM »
:sdeek:
https://twitter.com/PopulismUpdates/status/1290309625623900161?s=20
Kansas is the center of a nation called Remainder? I'll take it.

KC would obviously be the capital and we could mush the crap out of Omaha/STL/Tulsa/OKC/All those shitty towns in central IL that have like 50k people that are now under our thumb.

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #248 on: August 07, 2020, 09:29:11 AM »
why didn't that person just divide the 15M remainder equally into the other regions?

maybe we need a separate Breaking up the Remainder thread

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Re: Breaking up the United States
« Reply #249 on: August 07, 2020, 09:46:56 AM »
That map hurt me deeply
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite