Author Topic: Gems of the Texas Game Thread  (Read 6034 times)

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Offline DQ12

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Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« on: October 23, 2016, 05:31:55 PM »
Good evening, Cats fans.  Dlew12 here again for another edition of Gems of Game Thread.  I went over to ShaggyBevoTexas.com and read 3,747 posts so you don't have to!  Let's get to it.

*Pregame*
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We are going to destroy them
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LHC Bill Snyder Family Field is scary
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We have to listen to a woman???
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Will she be making sandwiches for us during commercials?
hur hur hur
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I can't listen to this bitch
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Isn't there a softball tournament going on somewhere that she should be at?
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We're so bad a chick's doing play by play???
1Q
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what the $#@! is happening
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So much for their QB just running it. He's going to try that pass all day.
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K State QBs always become snipers when they play us. They throw ducks all year but they hit a dime from a mile away against us.
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$#@! this purple magic
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Yeah, mediocre picture and atrocious audio. The guy doing play-by-play sounds like a bull dyke.
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The field is $#@!ing with my eyes, too.
Dax!!
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$#@!ty turf looks $#@!ty.
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big tip on the pass and they still caught it. And now we can't stop basic 1975 run offense
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I knew that their oline was good, but we have not done anything to stop them.
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Their JUCOs are better than our 4 stars
Just about everyone is better than your 4 stars.
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we are getting man handled up front right now
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Their fullback is shoving Malik around like a bitch.
MEATHOOK
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refs blow..
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cool FOUR $#@!ING PENALTIES on this opening drive
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Not that we're not earning them, but this group and that $#@!ing roided piece of $#@! ref always $#@!s us.
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Direct snap to slow white fullback? Ok.
meathook  :frown:

TD cats. cats. cats. cats.
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ballgame
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We are so $#@!ing dumb. We keep this up the White Wizard is going to kill us.
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This is gonna be fun.
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That was a pretty unstoppable drive. Kansas State is 6-0, right?
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wow. kstate looked awful last week. what happen?
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This is exactly what a well coached team looks like against a team with a coach who doesnt have a clue
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This team is so poorly coached, undisciplined, and can't tackle. Combine that with the fact that no team in the Big 12 gets away with penalties like K-State.

[emphasis added]
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Let the Ertz for Heisman talk commence.
MIR!!
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They are already talking $#@! about us.... usually that doesnt start till the second quarter.
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Why don't we have a fast black guy to take kicks? /no racist
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Snyder Family Stadium is a formidable place to play

It's up there with liquored up Death Valley in Baton Rouge at night.
take that, MIKE FINGER

Bubs: don't read the following
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A $#@!ing ginger sideline guy?
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I think ESPN is awesome for letting mentally challenged work the sidelines for them.
[/color]
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Wow, at least their defense sucks $#@! through a straw too.
Number 1 defense in the conference :nono:
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where the $#@! is the taunting?!??!?!?!?!!?
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How the $#@! is that not taunting?
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Dude how is that not taunting? After the taunting calls against our guys?
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Taunting or nah...nope won't call that against Snyder
Really don't know what they're referencing..the shovel thing?
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LHC Bill Snyder ain't as smart as Texas makes him seem to be
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Right now, Snyder is playing chess against coaches that are eating glue.
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everything is falling apart
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Charlie gets fired after the game. Calling my shot now
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KSU's DL looks like ass... absolutely no reason to not be running the ball down their throat every single play.
then just mix in a bit a play action to keep the D honest.
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Please dear God, let us join the Pac 12 in 8 years

Southern California sure beats the hell out of Manhatten, Kansas
Fancy Pullman, Washington?
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this QB looks all american against us
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KS QB is simulating a snap!!! THATS A $#@!ING PENALTY!!!!!!
:confused:
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This $#@!ing crew. They added half a yard and then automatically moved the chains.

$#@! this conference.
dollar signs, bcs, etc. etc.  just the way the world works.
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i hate this ertz guy
after the 4th down conversion:
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That was a slap in the face from Snyder
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Lulz Snyder is such a boss. He just threw a disrespectful pimp slap to strong by going for it on 4th at his own 29
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These scrubs pushin our $#@! in
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Getting pushed around by JUCO U. Smh
are we still "juco u"? :dunno:
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This is a classic ass kicking by K State. Extremely predictable.
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a fat white fullback just broke wheelers ankles. wow
he's full figured  :dubious:
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I think I will watch something more pleasant than this abortion, like ISIS beheading videos.
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what an abomination of a 1st quarter

**2nd Quarter**
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Ertz is telegraphing his passes and throwing lobs and we still cant stop him.
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I think K State is purposely not getting a first down until 3rd so they can run more plays.
4d Chess
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I'm wondering if Beth Mowins has a bigger $#@! than me...
:facepalm:
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They held the entire right side of our line.
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Welp. We get the ball again finally
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honestly just $#@!ing kill me i want to die and i dont want to watch this $#@! anymore
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Holy $#@! Bonney just got posterized by a slow ass white dude.
he's actually pretty mobile
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OMFG ... Their dog$#@! 3rd tier QB just ran 20 tyards to the endzone virtually untouched. The clock just sped up on charlie getting fired.
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You don't just walk into LHC Bill Snyder Memorial Family Stadium at 11 am on a Saturday in October and expect to win.
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And now we realize the true reason why we want out of the Big XII: Having to play Purple Kryptonite.

F ksu, f this team, f the coaches, f this year, f everything

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We are K State's homecoming? make sense
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that was charity from snyder. can't believe he threw that bomb on first down. their qb can't throw for $#@!. not sure why he would go away from what they were doing.
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Snyder is treating this like a scrimmage. Thats why he threw on three downs.
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yet again K-State gets away with holding
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lol 10 second obvious hold right on the ball.....
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I did not expect this
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lol if Kstate gets ZERO holding calls this game I say we go independent
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There is something going on with officials in the last two years.
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We'd be a much better team under Snyder. The guy knows how to coach both talent and game planning.
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Remove the longhorn decal off every one of their helmets at halftime. They don't deserve them.
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Who knew ertz was this "good"
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at least we have scoreboard on girls....
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We're getting beat and we have to look at the ugly k state bitches in the stands. Fml
TD Horns:
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the only way we can win... throw long and $#@!ing pray
honestly surprised they didn't go vertical way more.
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Haha $#@! the purple wizard. Had a chance to put his foot on our throat and he punted.
he was unwilling to show you the mercy of death's sweet embrace so soon.
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where's that one dumbass that is going to say we should've taken longer to score?
about that...
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We're the perfect opponent for every Joe Lunchbucket feel-good story in CFB.
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Can we hire snyder next season?
all yours
TD cats. cats. cats.
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Time to start drinking bleach
HALTIME IS HERE
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LHN crew is laughing. That's all you can do, I guess. Laugh, drink, have Whataburger.
really not a horrible way to go through life.
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didn't think Ertz had the arm to pull off a 3min drive like than

opening drive of 3rd will be huge
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We gave up more first half points to KSt than Missouri St did.
i don't think that's entirely true...
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Mack ain't won here since 2002. So Charlie can't get let off the hook? $#@! y'all!
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My first child, a son, is to be birthed tomorrow. I should be over the moon with excitement, but I find myself thirsting for the sweet embrace of a shotgun blast to the face.
:sdeek:
3rd Quarter
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The offensive line has really sucked to be honest. Unreal they are getting manhandled by 2 and 3 stars.
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this $#@!ing scrub intramural qb is on pace for 300yd/100yd/6td
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Snyder runs the same, easy plays that goes after the weakness of the other team. He is awesome.
well.  our offense has kind of sucked most of the season.

After Jones's fumble
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We are going to win this game
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Their defense: swarms to QB

Our defense: allows QB to casually weave through for first downs
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No focusness at all. coaches or players. It's a charlie hallmark
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Is Ertz the worst throwing QB in history
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Entire OL for KSU is one star
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Seriously amazing what Snyder does coaching wise
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McCrane would have been a Longhorn if we would gave offered. Sad.
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Does Willie have to be white?
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Welp. 4-9 against k-state since birth of BigXII. $#@! kstate
:drool:
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Why doesn't willie wear the rest of the cat costume? Can't afford it?
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Purple Wizard vs Brown Stain
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K-State is absurdly better at tackling than UT.
TD Horns
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I wonder if not kicking that field goal will bite us in the ass. Yes it will
yes it will
**4th Quarter**
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Ertz so good?
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Call the flipping holding
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how is it that on 3rd and 8, we never $#@!ing cover this QB?


I mean its $#@!ing different if hes running it right off the bat, but he sits back, waits 5 seconds for our Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!) Dline to run in a circle around him, and he then just runs forward for a first down almost everytime ( usually breaking one or ankles of our D along the way)

I dont understand how for the last 5 years, this team cant $#@!ing grasp the concept of keeping someone in the middle to cover the $#@!ing QB
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Wow, just wow.

LHC Bill Snyder has no respect for Charlie's team
*interception*
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Eat $#@! Ertz you $#@!ing puss!
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Really happy they keep letting him throw downfield. Maybe I shouldn't praise Snyder as much.
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if we end up with the turovers being 2-0 us... and we still lose.... it tells you we cant $#@!ing play for $#@!
:Ugh:
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K-State gets away with holding again but whatev....nice INT
Re Snyder:
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I repeat he's a dumbass. Texas fans give him way too much credit
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Ell Roberson, Collin Klein, Michael Bishop, Jake Waters, Jonathan Beasley, Chad May, Jesse Ertz, one of these is not like the others.
Roberson never beat UT.
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Ertz hurt. Oh $#@!. We might win... $#@!ing crazy. Hubener is ass my dudes
after the ensuing drive stalls on 4th and 17:
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They try to hand it to us and we $#@!ing step on our $#@!s. $#@! this $#@! directly in the butthole.
Ertz fumble:
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Kansas State is keeping us in the game with TOs. God bless them.
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Sure would be nice to have that fg in the 3Q when we chose to go for it.
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K State fans are morons
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gald it's called a funble, but no way that was a fumble.
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Three turnovers today by KSU, that should be enough to push the game in our favor, but
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Their LBs can tackle.
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I think this announcer woman wants some k state $#@!
*missed UT field goal*
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Did he kick that or did a 75 mph wind get that one?
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Duck farts. That's all I got. We are a bunch of duck farts.
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0 points on three turnovers!!!
0 points on three turnovers!!!
0 points on three turnovers!!!
0 points on three turnovers!!!
0 points on three turnovers!!!
0 points on three turnovers!!!
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KSU tried to give the game away because they suck but we suck worse so
HEY.
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This officiating is insane. Flagrant late hit not called. Blatant holding penalties not called. It's ridiculous
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Ill repeat it for those that missed it before.

Matt McCrane wanted to be a Longhorn. Mack wouldnt offer. $#@! Mack bitchass Brown. And $#@! Chuck for not addressing the need immediately upon arrival.
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Did some seriously say Beth Mowins wanted $#@!? Beth Mowins hasn't wanted $#@! since that first magical moment where she heard the Indigo Girls
:buh-bye:
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Out coached by purple wizard again ... We should not defer if we win the toss for the rest of the season.

Playing KSU as always = death by a thousand cuts
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WTF is up with this woman commentator? She's old, ugly and sucks to listen to!
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Kstate why do you keep giving us opportunities????
makes for better gems?
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K-state keeps $#@!ing up knowing we won't capitalize
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If we score here, I have full confidence that our special teams will be able to recover the inside kick.
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final score gonna look closer than the actual ass whoopin we just took
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No blowout for KSU. Losing close games .... Young team, rough on the edges, too many penalties and missed opportunities
re the missed field goal:
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that wasn't just missed.... that was an abomination of epic proportions. the jews actually feel fortunate to not of been apart of such as horrific incident as that kick
onside kick goes out of bounds:
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5 in row lost in Manhattan
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We played our worst game of the year and lost by 3 on the road. This team is talented. This team needs a coach.
grats on the moral victory, University of Texas Longhorns fan.

POSTGAME
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We own Texas chants start. This is what your charlie strong has given you. Bring back Mack
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Well, they do do own Texas. And that's unacceptable. So $#@! all of them.
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Lol. KSU owned Mack as well, you idiot.
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2006
2010
2012
2014
2016
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Should have had Kansas aggy go to the SEC....ridiculous that we play like $#@! aagainst them.
:love: at "Kansas aggy"
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Kansas state is not a good football team, and we couldn't do $#@! against them.
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Next season Charlie will win this game
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Im kinda lost for words and I love talking $#@!. Dayum I has sad, disbelief
, and mad
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What the $#@! is it about Texas that makes other mediocre teams look like world beaters?

$#@! that was frustrating game.
Why are their bubble screens good for 8+ yards and ours struggle to get 3 yards?
Why are they guaranteed to get 12 yards on every 3rd and long and we are almost 0% on 3rd and 2?
Why are none of their pass completions even contested? Their WR are literally sitting in a hole 10 yards from any defender.
Why can't we give up less than 7 yards on any third down?

The difference between the two teams was striking. We struggled to move the chains and felt like you almost had to get 6 yards on first down to have a chance to convert a first down. May as well punt on 3rd down.
On their 3rd downs they were EFFORTLESSLY picking up yards needed +5.
They were making some tough catches we were dropping gimmes.

What a piss poor effort. Every time we had a chance we couldn't step on our own $#@!s fast enough to $#@! it up.
Holy $#@! that was awful. I've said this a lot in the last 3 years but that was one of the $#@!tiest efforts I've seen in a long time.

God damnit I'm sicking of looking like $#@!ing keystone cops against K state.
I guess that was confirmation of what we thought - ISU meant nothing. This is still a terrible team. There's a good chance we beat KU and that's it - and a win against KU is highly questionable.
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Please call this number so I can find my phone.....damnit

###-###-####

Thanks
[i removed the number but still v weird]

that's all folks!


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"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

Offline Super PurpleCat

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2016, 05:40:30 PM »
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And now we realize the true reason why we want out of the Big XII: Having to play Purple Kryptonite.

Posted on a Texas BBS every year since 1996, another great example of college football's wonderful tradition and pageantry.

Online wetwillie

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2016, 06:25:33 PM »
I applaud your commitment dlew.  They just didn't have much material for you to work with. 
When the bullets are flying, that's when I'm at my best

Offline DQ12

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2016, 06:31:02 PM »
I applaud your commitment dlew.  They just didn't have much material for you to work with.
The best gems are from teams that don't hate their head coach.  Out of the 3700+ posts they had on there, roughly 3500 were bitching about strong and co. 

if all goes to plan next week, i'm sure we can count on cyclonefanatic to produce for us.


"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

Offline GoodForAnother

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2016, 06:37:49 PM »
Love these
emaw

Offline BostonPancake

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2016, 07:33:55 PM »
I applaud your commitment dlew.  They just didn't have much material for you to work with.
The best gems are from teams that don't hate their head coach.  Out of the 3700+ posts they had on there, roughly 3500 were bitching about strong and co. 

if all goes to plan next week, i'm sure we can count on cyclonefanatic to produce for us.

Cyclone fanatic will produce because they will all go in thinking this is the year they will beat us, and once again we will eek out a KITN win over them.

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2016, 07:37:04 PM »
I applaud your commitment dlew.  They just didn't have much material for you to work with.
The best gems are from teams that don't hate their head coach.  Out of the 3700+ posts they had on there, roughly 3500 were bitching about strong and co. 

if all goes to plan next week, i'm sure we can count on cyclonefanatic to produce for us.

Cyclone fanatic will produce because they will all go in thinking this is the year they will beat us, and once again we will eek out a KITN win over them.

I'm hoping for some kind of last minute bullshit PI call that sets us up for the go ahead score.  Would be amaze.
When the bullets are flying, that's when I'm at my best

Offline kso_FAN

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2016, 07:57:54 PM »
I applaud your commitment dlew.  They just didn't have much material for you to work with.
The best gems are from teams that don't hate their head coach.  Out of the 3700+ posts they had on there, roughly 3500 were bitching about strong and co. 

if all goes to plan next week, i'm sure we can count on cyclonefanatic to produce for us.

Cyclone fanatic will produce because they will all go in thinking this is the year they will beat us, and once again we will eek out a KITN win over them.

I'm hoping for some kind of last minute bullshit PI call that sets us up for the go ahead score.  Would be amaze.

I want an uncalled block in the back on a punt return for a TD.

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2016, 07:59:34 PM »
can anything really beat last year?  i spent several minutes laughing out loud at a freaking football game

Offline BostonPancake

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2016, 08:17:36 PM »
can anything really beat last year?  i spent several minutes laughing out loud at a freaking football game

I don't think so.  I don't think we could dream up a scenario that would be better than last year.

Offline kso_FAN

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2016, 08:21:37 PM »
can anything really beat last year?  i spent several minutes laughing out loud at a freaking football game

This is true. Its unbeatable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44hMopMXK9U

Offline Katpappy

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2016, 08:37:35 PM »
can anything really beat last year?  i spent several minutes laughing out loud at a freaking football game
That sure was a gem, Toby.  I never enjoyed a game as much as that one.
Hot time in Kat town tonight.

Offline DQ12

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2016, 08:37:54 PM »


"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

Offline MakeItRain

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2016, 08:39:07 PM »
They already hate Matt Campbell, he's not from here, but they hate us more so you should be good.

Offline kso_FAN

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2016, 08:42:57 PM »
They already hate Matt Campbell

Really? Why?

Offline pvegs

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #15 on: October 23, 2016, 08:47:30 PM »
I applaud your commitment dlew.  They just didn't have much material for you to work with.
The best gems are from teams that don't hate their head coach.  Out of the 3700+ posts they had on there, roughly 3500 were bitching about strong and co. 

if all goes to plan next week, i'm sure we can count on cyclonefanatic to produce for us.

Cyclone fanatic will produce because they will all go in thinking this is the year they will beat us, and once again we will eek out a KITN win over them.

I'm hoping for some kind of last minute bullshit PI call that sets us up for the go ahead score.  Would be amaze.

I want an uncalled block in the back on a punt return for a TD.

why not both?   :)

Offline MakeItRain

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #16 on: October 23, 2016, 08:57:04 PM »
I already said that, he is absolutely not getting the benefit of the doubt because he isn't seen as an Iowan. This team doesn't look much different from proud Paul's teams but he isn't afforded any excuses at all.

Offline KITNfury

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #17 on: October 23, 2016, 09:00:40 PM »
These gem threads are probably my favorite thing about goEMAW.com. Thanks
I once blew clove smoke in a guy's face that cut in front of me in the line to KJ's.

Offline ednksu

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #18 on: October 23, 2016, 09:03:19 PM »
Another fine installment of another brick of quotes for memory lane.  Great work again.
Quote from: OregonHawk
KU is right on par with Notre Dame ... when it comes to adding additional conference revenue

Quote from: Kim Carnes
Beer pro tip: never drink anything other than BL, coors, pbr, maybe a few others that I'm forgetting

Offline DQ12

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #19 on: October 23, 2016, 09:28:24 PM »
labor of love, boys.

though i will say, that was probably the longest game thread i've ever had to wade through. 


"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #20 on: October 23, 2016, 09:52:24 PM »
i was actually following that thread live and would end up skipping entire pages every time I hit refresh, it was brutal.  thank you, dlew

Offline Lucas Scoopsalot

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #21 on: October 23, 2016, 10:31:59 PM »
Quote
Snyder runs the same, easy plays that goes after the weakness of the other team. He is awesome.

I don't think he's watched very many of our games the past two years.
Luke's stock is rising as Winters continues to validate his greatness. Add Luke and Winters to my list! Also, EMAWBLAST! and Tobias!

Offline Hurricane Cat

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #22 on: October 24, 2016, 12:18:21 AM »
So good.  :thumbs:  ty - dlew

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #23 on: October 24, 2016, 01:38:49 AM »
Great work, Dlew, many thanks.

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Re: Gems of the Texas Game Thread
« Reply #24 on: October 24, 2016, 08:09:10 AM »
enjoyable read, thanks dlew