On behalf of Cougar Nation (we're more of a city-state, actually) I would like to thank you for your gracious welcome! I would also like to take this opportunity to help clarify some of the differences you have pointed out:
1. We don't really hate black people anymore (overt racism free since 1978!). I would call us more intolerant and inexperienced/uneducated. Progress, people - now only 20 years behind the times!
2. I myself only have one wife and three kids. So far they have let me stay. Also, we marry our women as old as 20 these days sometimes. Rumor has it somebody made it to 24 but I can't confirm.
3. I'm not sure about the whole planet thing but I'd like mine to be like Disneyland, only with real ski slopes on the Matterhorn and shorter waits for Splash Mountain. I think that would be cool as heck.
So anywhoo, as a guy already living in Big 12 country, thanks and hello. Stop by for a bowl of jello if you're in the neighborhood.