Author Topic: Mid-Summer with KU Karl  (Read 1789 times)

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Offline sonofdaxjones

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Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« on: July 07, 2017, 05:59:26 PM »
It's been a fairly quiet summer so far, albeit Karl's gears took a beating at the neighborhood July 4th gathering.   It seems that Doug Edwards who grew up in the neighborhood but attended the University of Alabama wouldn't quit talking about the upcoming football season.   It was all Karl could do to keep from bluttering out that football would be dead in twenty years and nobody will care.   As he went around for thirds on Mary Beth Olson's three bean salad, Karla leaned in and told him to simmer down and to remember his blood pressure.   Karl mumbled something indistinguishable while grabbing another Natty Light out of John Wilson's cooler to wash down the beans.   Later, on the walk home, Karla mentioned how much she enjoyed this year’s fireworks, while Karl lamented the lack of reds and blues and seemed a bit miffed that the kids ate all the hot dogs.

Once home Karl hit the garage Frigidaire for one more "cold one", sending the bottle top careening across the oil stain blotted floor as "I'm a Jayhawk" roared from the bottle opener the kids got him for his birthday (best gift eva!!) .    Karla made sure all the flowers were watered before heading off to bed. While watering she noted that the limestone Jayhawk ornaments in the flower beds needed a good cleaning.   Something to do tomorrow in between snapping fresh picked beans.

The next day at Karl's office, the other two cubiclinistas returned from vacation (Branson and Wisconsin Dells) and an immediate "Hawk Talk" session commenced over coffee and Little Debbie Honey Buns picked up from the $1 dollar end cap at Hy-Vee.   First order of business was that "got damn stunt" that Kansas Athletic Director Sheahon Zenger was trying to pull with "this football stadium nonsense".   The cubiclinistas unanimously agreed that while the three hundred million should be raised, not a "red penny" should be spent on any football stadium.   To a man they assured each other that KU Memorial Stadium was perfectly fine they last time they saw it nine and a half years ago, and that nothing needed to be done.   In a tone that bordered on shocked disgust Karl exclaimed with hands waving, "They got a new locker room didn't they?  Enough already!"   Cubiclinista Joe immediately laid out a plan whereby the three hundred million would be divided three ways.   The first one hundred million would be used to improve Allen Fieldhouse, the second one hundred million would be immediately given to Kansas University Head Basketball Coach Bill Self and the third one hundred million would go into the Bill Self retention fund.   All present nodded agreement with satisfied smiles of challenge presented - challenge met accomplishment. 

Just as the discussion was starting to die and the last bites of honey bun were being ingested, washed down with black coffee swirling and steaming in matching "History of the Jayhawk" mugs.  Cubiclinista Ed excitedly looked up from his Iphone 4 and motioned for the rest of the gang to come over quickly.  Ed glanced up from his phone making darting eye contact with anticipatory faces.  He looked down again, adjusting his reading glasses (1.5 Walmart 3 pack, wire framed) he read the notification from KU Athletics aloud:  All 4 Jayhawk Exhibition Games will be streamed live!!  Hearts raced as they implored Ed for more details.   It seems that all four of the Jayhawk exhibition games in Italy would be streamed live on something called the FloHoops.   Thunderous high fives cascaded over the cubicle walls and reverberated around the office.   Suddenly, a flash of great concern took control of Ed's face, as he read the next line, "FloHoops requires a monthly subscription fee of $29.95."   Time stood still as a shattering silence enveloped the cubicle, Ed slowly turned and looked out the sliver of a window that served their tight cubicle, eyes glazing over in a thousand yard stare.   The two standing slunk back to their squeaky lower management desk chairs and dropped in with the grace of bricks falling off the bed of a speeding truck.  The click clacks of neighboring keyboards and quiet phone conversations humming in the distance. 

After what seemed like an entirety, Ed broke the silence, breaking the monotony of the daily processing of the 412A forms, "I'll get my wife's credit card." Both Karl and Joe quickly turned in their cheap lower management desk chairs, alert, and ready to hear more.  Ed reminded each of them that he and his third wife kept all of their finances separate and that she had a credit card that they could use to sign up for FloHoops.   Karl and Joe both said they'd be happy to throw in a "10 spot" to help pay for the cost.   Besides, Karl thought, Karla really doesn't need that second glass of Chardonnay (Sutter Home) at Johnny's every other Friday anyway.    The day was saved and they excitedly discussed if their lower tier home Internet service could handle the streaming.

As the cubiclinistas continued to engage in semi technical conversation on streaming, Hans Hohenstein -CIO/CTO (Startseite der TU Dresden '95, Cal-Berkeley '98) and Richard Faulk - CFO (IU '93, Cornell '95) passed by their cubicle (both were visiting the KC office.  Hans from San Francisco, and Frank from New York City).   Hans couldn't help but overhear the word "streaming" and did an immediate staccato like turn into the cubicle and reminded the cubiclinistas (with an authoritative Germanic accent reminiscent of Hans Gruber) that unauthorized streaming on the company network was not allowed and without another word he turned and left as quickly as he came.  Mere seconds later, Richard Faulk stepped in displaying a more leisurely gate.  He knew these three quite well from his days as SVP of regional operations-Midwest.  With an unapologetic wry smile he informed the cubiclinistas that in-house 412A processing was under budgetary review pending bids from third party cloud processing services.   Faulk smirked as he turned and walked away.

Alas, the threat of having to seek other employment didn't matter, Faulk's words may as well been said into a vacuum. The cubiclinistas had their 'Hawks, in August, on FloHoops.  Karl pulled his Motorola Razor V3 and hit the quick dial button for Karla . . . "Yeah honey, can you call Time Warner and see if we can bump up our Internet for four or five . . . .


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« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 10:08:09 AM by sonofdaxjones »

Offline SdK

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2017, 06:19:10 PM »
Oh boy! I can't wait to read this.

Offline SdK

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2017, 06:23:52 PM »
Masterful as always.

Offline Canary

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2017, 07:30:58 PM »
This is a work of art.

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2017, 08:14:32 PM »
I love a good little deb honey bun

Offline SdK

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2017, 08:36:19 PM »
Me too, CF3. So delectable.

Offline Skipper44

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2017, 09:15:45 PM »
They pair quite nicely with black coffee

Offline Kat Kid

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2017, 12:14:08 AM »
this is good.

Offline IPA4Me

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2017, 06:36:06 AM »
Well done.

Offline 0.42

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2017, 07:36:31 PM »
But how will Karla pay for Karl's future coronary bypass with their upgrade from 10 to 100 mbps? Inquiring minds need to know.

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Offline wetwillie

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2017, 10:18:27 PM »
I felt like I was right there the whole time. Dax is an amazing story teller.
When the bullets are flying, that's when I'm at my best

Offline Dugout DickStone

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2017, 08:57:28 PM »
Dax has spent some time amongst them

Offline meow meow

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2017, 08:26:36 AM »
Karla's thirst for Chardonnay (Sutter Home) never gets old

Offline SEK_EMAW

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2017, 12:27:38 PM »
...The first one hundred million would be used to improve Allen Fieldhouse...

Can't believe Karl thinks AFH needs any improving.

Offline meow meow

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Re: Mid-Summer with KU Karl
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2017, 12:41:53 PM »
...The first one hundred million would be used to improve Allen Fieldhouse...

Can't believe Karl thinks AFH needs any improving.

wants added suites so their rich friends, the Johnsons, who have a lake house at The Ozarks (which Karl/Karla always try to get invited to on the weekends), can get one and maybe invite them, so Karla can drink her 2 glasses of Chardonnay (Sutter Home) in AFH while posting pictures on facebook of her drinking wine (Sutter Home) at AFH.