Author Topic: elf on the shelf  (Read 3827 times)

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Offline dmartin

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2012, 11:04:43 AM »
This is our second or third year having one. what really sucks is when you forget to move him, and have to convince the kids "that he must just really like sitting on top of the tv, it's a good tactical lookout point". 

the 7 year old buys it, I think.

Offline michigancat

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #26 on: November 30, 2012, 11:08:30 AM »
sounds like you dumbasses suck as parents

Offline Saulbadguy

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #27 on: November 30, 2012, 11:44:10 AM »
sounds like you dumbasses suck as parents
That's what i'm thinking. Since I don't have kids i'm pretty good at judging how good a parent is.
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Offline felix rex

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elf on the shelf
« Reply #28 on: November 30, 2012, 12:20:07 PM »
Is this more effective than the "invisible god is watching you" strategy? Crutches gonna crutch.
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Offline 8manpick

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #29 on: November 30, 2012, 12:20:49 PM »
Is this more effective than the "invisible god is watching you" strategy? Crutches gonna crutch.

 :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Offline michigancat

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #30 on: November 30, 2012, 12:21:44 PM »
sounds like you dumbasses suck as parents
That's what i'm thinking. Since I don't have kids i'm pretty good at judging how good a parent is.

yeah, because you're unbiased.

Offline Mr Bread

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #31 on: November 30, 2012, 12:25:17 PM »
sounds like you dumbasses suck as parents
That's what i'm thinking. Since I don't have kids i'm pretty good at judging how good a parent is.

yeah, because you're unbiased.

This all sounds accurate to me.  Also seems like a lot of folks outing their kids as pretty big dumbasses in this thread as well.  Oh, and themselves as liars and manipulators.  Of kids no less. 
My prescience is fully engorged.  It throbs with righteous accuracy.  I am sated.

Offline Skipper44

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #32 on: November 30, 2012, 12:27:55 PM »
I am such a poor parent that all this moving the elf around and setting up displays sounds like too damn much work. 

I will just stick with screaming unrealistic threats at them.

Offline slobber

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #33 on: November 30, 2012, 12:28:17 PM »
Is this more effective than the "invisible god is watching you" strategy? Crutches gonna crutch.
Go over to Italy. They have pictures. He is not invisible.

Offline Dub

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #34 on: November 30, 2012, 01:04:07 PM »
Is this more effective than the "invisible god is watching you" strategy? Crutches gonna crutch.
Go over to Italy. They have pictures. He is not invisible.

You mean She?


Offline Bloodfart

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #35 on: November 30, 2012, 01:54:25 PM »
This elf on the shelf crap is child's play.  When my dad was a kid they used to spend Christmas eve at grandpa and grandma's house.  The boys all slept in one room and the girls in another.  Shortly after everything was quiet Santa and Ruprecht would come to visit.  That's when crap got real. 

Ruprecht had a bullwhip and Santa had a switch for blistering bad little boys and girls backsides.  Santa questioned the girls and Ruprecht terrorized the boys.  Some how they always knew if you were lying and you got it double bad if you lied.   :ohno:


Knecht Ruprecht              Santa Claus

Offline Rams

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #36 on: November 30, 2012, 03:31:01 PM »
This elf on the shelf crap is child's play.  When my dad was a kid they used to spend Christmas eve at grandpa and grandma's house.  The boys all slept in one room and the girls in another.  Shortly after everything was quiet Santa and Ruprecht would come to visit.  That's when crap got real. 

Ruprecht had a bullwhip and Santa had a switch for blistering bad little boys and girls backsides.  Santa questioned the girls and Ruprecht terrorized the boys.  Some how they always knew if you were lying and you got it double bad if you lied.   :ohno:


Knecht Ruprecht              Santa Claus

jesus christ that's horrible  :sdeek:
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Offline Bloodfart

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #37 on: November 30, 2012, 03:46:54 PM »
Dad said Ruprecht had chains hanging around his neck and shoulders.  He had a long black beard and his face was covered in coal dust.  When Ruprecht entered the room he would slam one of his chains on the hard wood floor to get their attention.  It worked very well, little boys scrambled to the corners of the room and under beds.  They would each have to come forward one at a time to be questioned.  One time one of the cousins tried to make a run for it and Ruprecht cut him down with one flip of the bull whip.  He didn't actually whip him but it was close enough to make the kid dive back under the bed.

Offline Pete

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #38 on: November 30, 2012, 03:47:18 PM »
I worked with a couple of chicks from the Netherlands years ago, and they said that when they were kids they were told that if you were bad, Santa Clause (they didn't call him that, can't remember what they called him) had some bad dude that would put you in a sack and take you to Spain and make you work in coal mines. 

Offline Bloodfart

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #39 on: November 30, 2012, 03:54:40 PM »
I worked with a couple of chicks from the Netherlands years ago, and they said that when they were kids they were told that if you were bad, Santa Clause (they didn't call him that, can't remember what they called him) had some bad dude that would put you in a sack and take you to Spain and make you work in coal mines.
That's Ruprecht.  My dad's family is originally from Germany.

Offline puniraptor

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #40 on: November 30, 2012, 03:58:35 PM »

Offline Bloodfart

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #41 on: November 30, 2012, 04:09:07 PM »
Well grandma told us Ruprecht took bad boys and girls from their parents.  So grandma you lied to little BF.  :shakesfist:

Here are some of Santa's big bad helpers. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Companions_of_Saint_Nicholas 

Offline CNS

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #42 on: November 30, 2012, 04:45:17 PM »
sounds like you dumbasses suck as parents
That's what i'm thinking. Since I don't have kids i'm pretty good at judging how good a parent is.

yeah, because you're unbiased.

This all sounds accurate to me.  Also seems like a lot of folks outing their kids as pretty big dumbasses in this thread as well.  Oh, and themselves as liars and manipulators.  Of kids no less.

Parents are huge liars.  The elf on the shelf is just another lie on top of the already uncountable pile of lies spent.  To be honest, lies shape our lives and make you who you are. 

Offline Mr Bread

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #43 on: November 30, 2012, 05:19:53 PM »
sounds like you dumbasses suck as parents
That's what i'm thinking. Since I don't have kids i'm pretty good at judging how good a parent is.

yeah, because you're unbiased.

This all sounds accurate to me.  Also seems like a lot of folks outing their kids as pretty big dumbasses in this thread as well.  Oh, and themselves as liars and manipulators.  Of kids no less.

Parents are huge liars.  The elf on the shelf is just another lie on top of the already uncountable pile of lies spent.  To be honest, lies shape our lives and make you who you are.

My mom once told my sister and I that she wasn't our real mother, but was actually an alien that had replaced our mother who had been taken.  We were pretty young like in the 4-6 range.  She kept it up until my sister started crying.  Thinking back on that makes me a little :sdeek:.  Pretty sure my sister still has some hard feelings and maybe even a little residual doubt.  Like when my mom was doing the big reveal that it was just a joke, my sister just cried harder and screamed at her that she wasn't her real mom. 
My prescience is fully engorged.  It throbs with righteous accuracy.  I am sated.

Offline CNS

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Re: elf on the shelf
« Reply #44 on: November 30, 2012, 06:16:41 PM »
I bet your mom lied to her and said everything would be ok, right?

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Offline puniraptor

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elf on the shelf
« Reply #45 on: November 30, 2012, 10:26:42 PM »
According to Wikipedia, Ruprecht rolls with a posse of fairies and men in blackface dressed as old women.

Offline XocolateThundarr

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elf on the shelf
« Reply #46 on: December 06, 2012, 08:41:05 AM »
:thumbsup:

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