CONFIDENCE RISING!
1. Atlanta <-- get a dome you humid racists
2. Oakland <-- i like their color scheme BUT THAT'S ALL I LIKE ABOUT THEM!
3. Milwaukee <-- their airport has a "recombobulation area" lol
4. LA Dodgers <-- KIM CARNES ALERT!
5. St Louis <-- where's your soccer team? clap, clap, clapclapclap
6. NY Yankees <-- how good are they going to be this year? kind of a mystery team imo
7. Google <-- it must be so expensive and stressful to live there, i can't imagine going to a baseball game
8. Detroit <-- they will finish 2nd in the AL Central this year. boom roasted
9. Seattle <-- tough division, they will finish 4th
10. House of Cards <-- should be a great battle with ATL throughout the year for the NL East
11. LA Angels <-- the Orlando of California, gross
12. MinnesOta <-- they will finish 5th in the central this year
13. Pittsburgh <-- step back this year after a fantastic 2013
14. Cincinnati <-- do you guys realize how close Cincinnati is to Kentucky? man. it's basically in Kentucky
15. Colorado <-- great place to watch a game but the team will just never do anything, and terrible color scheme/logo
16. Chicago White Sox <-- boner alert, this team will finish 3rd in the AL Central
17. Texas <-- what happened to them? they only have 8 HRs so far
18. NY Mets <-- remember the King of Queens? why didn't he just divorce her? good grief
19. Toronto <-- the soccer team will average more fans per game than the Blue Jays this summer
20. The Wire <-- do you guys think Chris Davis is a huge piece of crap? i think he probably is
21. Kansas City <-- it's almost like every other team in the central pulled their pants down around their ankles and challenged the Royals to a race, and the Royals were like, hmmm maybe we should pull our pants down too to make it fair? idk
22. Racist Mascots <-- 4th in the AL central, gtfoomf with your clouds and rust belt racist mascot hats
23. Boston <-- world series champs have played a tough early schedule. i expect them to take the east this year
24. Miami <-- nice stadium or whatever but pretty much woof at the entire history of this franchise, except Dontrelle Willis
25. Philadelphia <-- nope, you suck
26. San Diego <-- Kim you are on the wrong bandwagon because San Diego is more punchless than the Royals
27. Tampa Bay <-- i wish we had Joe Maddon and his glasses
28. Chicago Cubs <-- "i love turtlenecks and being a douchebag and talking about minivans" - goEMAW.com
29. Houston <-- thanks for the home runs, houston
30. Arizona <-- why do they suck? why does Mark Trumbo play for them? why does anybody play for them? weird team
